SOUNDTRACK:  McSweeney’s #6 comes with a CD.

Most of the music on the CD is performed by They Might Be Giants (a rather perfect fit for McSweeney’s).  Some other musicians who appear are: M. Doughty, Philip Glass, Michael Meredith. Roger Greenawalt & S.E. Willis

Instructions included with book:

#3. The compact disc contains music.  There are 44 discrete pieces of music –”Tracks”–on this compact disc.  Each Track corresponds to a picture, series of pictures, or story–a Piece–in this journal.  When you are reading or looking at a certain Piece, we ask that you cue your compact disc to the corresponding Track on the disc.  The appropriate track number will appear prominently, usually under the title of each Piece.  Note: The track number will no appear on subsequent pages of the Piece.

#6. Please note that you may listen to Tracks without reading their Pieces and you may read Pieces without listening to their corresponding Tracks.  But this is not recommended.  You fucking bastard.

[READ: December 8, 2009] McSweeney’s #6

I’m finally getting back to reading some older McSweeney’s issues.  This was the final issue that I received from my initial subscription.  I distinctly remember being excited by the CD and maybe reading some of the book, but clearly never finishing it.

So yes, this issue comes with a CD.  The intro note explains that each Piece in the book has an accompanying  Track on the CD, and, you are to only listen to the Track that accompanies the Piece you are reading…never read a piece while listening to the wrong track.  Ever!  It explains that each Track has been created to be as long as it would take you to read each Piece.  But there are obviously many exceptions. The first story for instance is well over ten pages but the song is about 5 seconds long.  And, the Arthur Bradford Track is 8 minutes long when anyone could read the Piece much more quickly.

The bulk of the songs are by They Might Be Giants.  Anyone who knows TMBG knows you can’t summarize their work, and this book exercise is ideal for them: there are several pieces that are just a few second long.  But they also write some nice longer pieces as well.  And, of course, they are perfectly suited for mood music that works well with the writing.  Some of the songs have words which is a bit distracting while trying to read, but that’s okay.  I did try my best to follow the prescription about only listening to the appropriate song, but I admit to getting off pace from time to time. 

The notes also state that this was initially meant to be an all art issue.  They abandoned that premise, but there is still a lot of very cool art work in it. There are excerpts from artists’ works, there are drawings by non-artists, there’s even a full comic sketch from Chris Ware!

This is probably one of my favorite McSweeney’s thus far.  The music is great, the artwork is wonderful.  Some of the short stories are really really short (a page or two) and most of those are just okay, but they are made up for by some really strong ones (Zadie Smith).

BREYTEN-BREYTENBACH-”(Notes from the Middle World)”
Breytenbach is a South African writer. I’ve found his work to be hard to read (because of th content) in the past.  This piece I found doubly hard as it was very abstract (its about placelessness). The Middle World is meant to be the world in between realities.  I can’t say I got a lot of it, although I understood the gist.  This was apparently a speech, and I wonder if it would have worked better as one (with a handout).

KARL HAENDEL-various photos:
“Dollar for Dollar Invest in the Past,” “Oprah Helped Me Through This,” “It’s Getting Late”, “Mr. & Mrs. Nuclear,” “I Want It Faster Better Now,” “Grassroots Internet Revolution,” “Even My T-Shirt has a History,” “Lincoln, Washington,” “People Died Today,” “Be Kind and Gentle When You Have a Big Stick,” “Mona Lisa”
Haendel is an artist who (at least for these compositions) paints a few words onto white plywood and then photographs them in specific locations.  You can tell by the title list above a little of the intent behind them.  I enjoyed his pieces quite a bit.  Although they work more on a “huh” or perhaps a “yes!” level than as brilliant works of art.  The exception is Mona Lisa where the plywood has a print of Mona Lisa attached sideways to a car which is parked in front of an Art Gallery.

STEVE FEATHERSTONE-”The Garden of Eden”
A very short piece (one paragraph) about a man whose father is intending to build the Garden of Eden in his yard. Details are given, which are undermined by the story’s conclusion.  More of an exercise than a story, it’s hard to say much about it.

IAN FRAZIER-”Eulogy for Saul Steinberg”
This is a loving look at Saul Steinberg.  I didn’t know a thing about Steinberg before reading this, but I was charmed by the man and found this to be very enjoyable piece.
The song for this piece is John Linnel’s solo song “West Virginia.”

W. KOENIGSTEIN-”W. Koenigstein’s Colossal Outpouring: Affair Number Six”
With an Intro by Lawrence Weschler (more about him later).  Koenigstein created delightful landscapes with very simple line drawings.  This showcases several of the pictures from one notebook (And details his rather obsessive work).

SEAN WILSEY-”Marfa, Revisited”
This is a continuation of the Marfa saga that Wilsey wrote about in McSweeney’s #2.  Unlike that first piece, which was lengthy and packed with information, this Revisiting is a bit more fun. It is broken down into several small sections of examples of the quirky kinds of things that happen when you visit Marfa.  It is full of interesting characters, probably none of whom are unique to Marfa, but for whom Marfa was probably like a calling card.
The song for this piece was written and performed by Michael Meredith.

AMY SILLMAN-”Untitled”
A painting, part of a  35 foot long painting.  See samples of her work here.

ZADIE SMITH-”The Girl with Bangs”
This is the first Zadie Smith piece I’ve read since enjoying On Beauty.  It’s an older story (published after her forst novel), and I think it’s great.  The premise is that the narrator, a woman who usually dates men falls for a woman with spectacular bangs.  The narrator now understands what men go through when they’re rendered speechless by a beautiful woman.  It’s a funny and insightful piece and showed that Smith was a great writer, with an excellent grasp of emotions even then.  I fully intend to read the rest of her work, and this was a great impetus to find that first novel.

The story ends with a blank page that notes that Smith’s story used to be longer.

CANDY JERNIGAN-”Excerpt from 99 Blue Rocks”
Candy Jernigan  and her partner Philip Glass traveled to Nova Scotia.   He composed and she drew pictures of rocks.  Here’s a sample of many of these drawings.  And they are technically brilliant.  Most of them look like photographs.  But beyond that, the rocks also seems to have, if not personalities, then at least some kind of quality that makes them seem like more than “just rocks.”  It’s pretty amazing.
The music for this piece is written and performed by Philip Glass

ROY KESEY-”The Workshop”
This piece is a sort of fable about patience.  When a man is told to make an airplane out of a paperclip, he is perpetually sent back to work on it until it is done correctly.  The reaction to his success, and the conclusion of the piece are quite delightful.

GINA O’MARA-”After This, Everything Got Louder and No One Could be Heard”
This very short piece concerns the creation of a whale, out of the ether.  Something of a creation myth.  I’m just not that inspired by these shorter pieces.

ANN CUMMINS-”Billy by the Bay”
This is a funny/sad story about Billy.  Billy’s night has gone from awesome to terrible when he is publicly humiliated in from of the woman he was planning to hooking up with (she promised to feel his balls!).  Billy’s revenge is sweet but short-lived and is packed with adrenaline (and his large balls).
The accompanying song is Ann Cummins herself reciting the last six or seven paragraphs of the much longer story.  It’s fun to hear the author getting into her story.  Performed by Ann Cummins with S.E. Willis on piano.

WALKER EVANS-”The Deltiographs of Walker Evans”
A deltiograph is a picture postcard.  Walker Evans collected over 9,000 penny picture postcards.  They are preserved in a gallery.  Several are shown here and they are really quite neat.  They are either drawings or colored photographs from all over the country circa the early 20th century. There’s some really cool stuff here. I wish they were online for more thorough viewing.
The song is by Erika Kawalek with Roger Greenawalt on banjo.

BARRY BLITT-”Barry Blitt’s Vacation Postcards”
Blitt is an artist whose work is very familiar (he has done many New Yorker covers (including this week’s with President Obama and Santa Claus).  This is a collection of postcards that he designed and drew.  (He even includes the note inside the “place stamp here” box).  There’s a short interview with him which is also revealing.  I enjoying learning about his technique, and of course, the pictures themselves are great.

JOHN WARNER-”Tough Day for the Army: In the Beginning”
A weird little story that begins with he Army and ends with professional food photography.  I’m not entirely sure how they got from point A to point B.

LYDIA DAVIS-”Oral History with Hiccups”
This story was in Lydia Davis’ book Samuel Johnson is Indignant. I found this to be one of her lesser pieces, although it is mildly amusing.  There are graphic representations of hiccups in the story.

LAWRENCE WESCHLER-”Convergences: Gazing Out Toward: Kret/Friedrick/Diebenkorn”
Weschler’s Convergences book is pretty great.  This is another excerpt that was eventually put into the book. In this one he looks at several pictures of people gazing, whether at the viewer, at a sunset, or into the hazy distance. Weschler’s pieces are always fascinating.

CHRIS WARE-”Sketch for Little Lit:  A Very Sad Story About a Frog and A Banjo, Not at All Appropriate for Children”
Little Lit is a cool series of comic for kids.  This sketch was done for the inaugural edition.  However, if you know Chris Ware, you know that his stuff is not for children.  He somehow managed to rein this in and make it more kid friendly, but as it stands in this sketch, the piece is twisted (and quite funny).  The best thing about this piece here is that it shows Ware’s sketches.  So if you’ve ever wondered how he does his letters/figures, here’s a great chance to see them.  (It’s very cool).
The song is performed by M Doughty

SASKIA HAMILTON-”Robert Lowell’s Letters Containing Artwork”
This is a collection of poet Robert Lowell’s letters that contain art (he wrote a few when he was a kid, and then a few more much much later when his daughter was 13 or so).  His art is not very good, but as Hamilton argues, it was very expressive and revealed a lot about him.  It’s always fascinating to see an artist struggle (both before and after his success).

SAMANTHA HUNT-”Bathymetry”
A short piece about two sailors.  The American sailor mentions a mermaid but is lucky to be drawn away to his duty before the French sailor can regale him with a story of his own about a mermaid.  The mermaid story is pretty funny.

DAVE FORD-”Dave Ford’s Drawings by Trucks”
Dave Ford set up an art studio in he back of his big rig. It consisted of two liter bottles filled with fluid suspended from the top of the truck with pencils attached to the bottoms.  As he drove the truck the pencils would sketch out abstract “art.”  It’s fascinating, even if the art isn’t that inspirational.  But the picture of the bottles is pretty amazing.

MARK O’DONNELL-”Hard Truths”
Set up as a movie with stage directions, this piece is a series of clichés that attack each other in their attempt to get their messages across.

RICHARD ERIKSON-”Richard Erickson, Art Teacher Who Also Makes Art
Erikson’s art is fantastic.  The titles bring wonderful insight into the simple pictures (crumpled jeans are named “elephant”). Great stuff.”

ARTHUR BRADFORD-”Roslyn’s Dog”
The song for this track is Arthur Bradford reading the entire story.  Except…his ending is completely different in the audio versus the printed version.  It’s hard to know which to review.  The basic gist is that the narrator pet’s Rosyln’s dog which bites him.  In something reminiscent of a werewolf movie (although not scary), he gradually tuns into a dog himself. In the printed version, the dogs run off together; in the audio version, a major twist is thrown in.  I think I prefer the audio version, actually.

SHEILA HETI-”The Man from Out of Town”
This was a dark story which ended in a place that was surprisingly even more dark.

FRANZ SWANSON-”Slow”
This story is about an Indian named Slow, who will eventually grow up to be Sitting Bull.  It mostly involves Slow chasing Crow.  I wasn’t terribly inspired by this piece.

JUDY BUDNITZ-”Just Borrowing It for a Little While”
This was a fascinating story that left a lot to the imagination.  Two girls are driving, when something bad happens and they are sent to community service as hospital candy-stripers.  While there, they get into more (somewhat unintentional) mischief.  Although I’m not entirely sure what happened, I enjoyed reading it.

LAWRENCE WESCHLER-”Convergences: Girls in Their Turning: Richter/Vermeer/Velaszquez”
Another Convergence which relates back to the previous one.  This one is focused on girls turning away from the viewer.  The main painting is Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring.  I like this stuff quite a bit.
The song contains vocal samples of Robin “Goldie” Goldwasser.

TOMMY WALLACH-”The Life of Doug”
This story follows Doug, a loner and a loser who needs a new blender.  While at the store, Jay convinces him to buy more things.  We then look at Jay’s life, and then at Sam (Jay’s boss)’s life and then at Sam’s wife’s life and on and on until we get back to Doug for a satisfying circle. This story was light and fun, and I enjoyed it quite a but.  Next.

MATT FAGAN-”Roller Coaster”
In this story a woman on a date tells her date about Fantasy Dates which were much better than this date.

“MARY GALLAGHER-A Brief Unrelated Companion Piece to ‘Roller Coaster’ Written Without Mr. Fagan’s Knowledge”
This story was tacked on at the end of “Roller Coaster.” It is two sentences about God and dignity.

AD REINHARDT-”Art in Art is Art-as Art (Art-as-art Dogma, Part III)”
This is a series of slogans or perhaps even a manifesto about what art is and is not.  I can’t say it was that inspiring, frankly.
The song is excerpted from Free Cooperation’s “Our Master’s Voice” recorded in Warsaw, 1985.

The book ends with Contributors notes, song notes and a reproduction of the hand written musical score for the Philip Glass piece.

The back cover features excerpted lyrics from the CD and a place for the CD itself.

As I said, I enjoyed this issue quite a lot.  The artwork (in full-color!) was great, and, of course, the music played  a nice accompaniment.

SOUNDTRACK: BLACK SABBATH-Vol. 4 (1972).

When I was younger I liked this Sabbath album a lot more than I do now.  There are some absolutely stellar tracks on here, but most of the songs are a rather peculiar for Black Sabbath.  It showcases ballad-y nature that Ozzy would have for some of his biggest hits twenty years later.

“Wheels of Confusion” opens the disc with a fascinating bluesy sounding guitar solo that turns into a straightforward rocker.  But, as it’s 8 minutes long, there’s a lot of twists and turns.  And it ends with a two and a half minutes of upbeat guitar soloing (with a tambourine keeping the beat!).

“Tomorrow’s Dream” opens with a rocking bendy guitar riff  but in the middle the chorus turns the song into a delicate ballad.  This is followed by “Changes” a full-on piano ballad (!).  It’s catchy, no doubt, and I loved it when I was younger, but I’m not entirely sure it passes the test of time.  This is followed by “FX” which is literally almost two minutes of echoing blips and bleeps, some of which go back and forth on the headphones.  It’s a very strange addition to any disc and is really the perfect example of “filler” unless by some chance this was majorly cutting edge at the time.

This is redeemed by “Supernaut” one of the all-time great Sabbath tunes.  It’s heavy, fast and features a great guitar riff.

“Snowblind” is a another fantastic song.  A great riff, and of course, it’s totally pro-cocaine!  How can you tell?  Well, because at the end of the first verse, you can hear a very unsubtle whisper of “cocaine.”  My, how the band has changed in just a couple of years.  This song also features a ballady mid-section.  It also features an awesome middle bit that rocks very hard (and can be summed as: don’t tell me what to do).  The drugs hadn’t deteriorated Sabbath’s songwriting yet, but give it a couple more records!

“Cornucopia” is one of the weird songs that you find on the second side of a Sabbath album.  It’s a got an awesome slow, doomy opening riff which then turns into a speedy rocker.

When I was kid I really liked “Laguna Sunrise” and I still do.  It’s a pretty acoustic guitar number (with keyboards or strings or something).  After “Changes” you’re not surprised by anything that Sabbath will throw at you, but this song is really shockingly delicate.

“St. Vitus Dance” is probably the most schizophrenic Sabbath song.  The opening guitar riff is so incredibly upbeat, happy and boppy; who knows what will come from it.  And then the verses turn dark and edgy with lyrics about a breakup.  And then the happy guitar bits come back!

The disc ends with “Under the Sun/Everyday Comes and Goes.”  It is once again another wonderfully sludgy guitar riff that turns into a fast rocker (“I don’t want no Jesus freak to tell me what it’s all about!”).  After the verses, you get this wonderfully weird guitar solo that’s like an ascending scale on acid.  Fun!  About three minutes in, it turns into “Everyday…” an uptempo rocker that’s not out of place with the other half of the song, but which does seem like an odd placement.

This disc was strangely experimental for Sabbath.  And, while it’s nice to see them not getting stuck, some of their choices were certainly weird.  And yet all Sabbath fans seem to regard this disc pretty highly (I think it’s the iconic cover that we all remember so fondly).

[READ: December 10, 2009] Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett knows football (soccer)??!!  In all the years of Discworld books, I don’ think there has been any mention of football (or even any sport).  Who knew he had a 400 page book about football in him?

Oh, and what is wrong with US book publishers?  Look at the utterly lame US cover at the top here.  First of all, the book is about soccer…why are they reaching for the ball with their hands??  Second, look here at this awesome UK cover by Paul Kidby (the official illustrator of Discworld).  Does he not have publishing rights in the US?

American readers, check out this cover.  It is awesome!  It gives you the whole cast, it gives a wonderful graphic of just what you’d be up against when you play this team.  Look, there’s the Librarian!  And, of course, the drawing is great.  Well, at least we have the internet.

But back to the football.  As with any Pratchett book it’s not just about football.  There is a whole bunch of stereotype-busting, inner-strength growing, pop-culture raspberrying, and general hilarity as well.  Oh, and Rincewind is back!  Hooray!

This book also breaks from a recent Pratchett tradition of chapters.  (No chapters are provided.  Of course, this means it’s hard to find a good stopping point, but I guess that’s okay).

And so, the main character here is a goblin named Nutt.  He is a candle dribbler at Unseen University (and he is very good at making the candles look especially old and well-dribbled (which reminds me of Slartibarfast who really enjoyed making fjords because of all the little crinkly bits)).  Nutt works with Trev.  Trev Likley is the son of John Likley, the most famous “football” player in Ankh-Morpork history.

Football here is mostly just pushing and fighting in the streets.  There are goal posts and there is a ball (it’s made of wood), but goals, when they are scored, are sort of beside the point.  People get hurt.  And that’s most of the fun.  In fact, Trev’s dad was killed in the line of duty, while playing football.  He had scored the most goals ever in a game and was immediately punished for it by the other team.

Trev and Nutt work in the subbasement of Unseen University.  Upstairs from them are two women who work in the Night Kitchen.  Glenda, the head of the kitchen is a steadfast, strong, take-no-shit chef who makes AMAZING pies and suffers no fools.  Except for perhaps Juliet, the beautiful, no, really beautiful, like staggeringly beautiful young woman who works for Glenda.  She’s really beautiful, but she doesn’t have a lot upstairs (meaning that Glenda has to give detailed instructions for making tea) but she’s really beautiful.

Every man is in lust with her and consequently no man can speak to her.  So Juliet is often alone.  When Trev actually talks to her, well, she’s willing to listen.  Glenda, mother-hen that she is, greatly opposes this union because, well, Trev is a chancer, a questionable character and Juliet is naive.

The more you start trying to talk about a Discworld book, the more subplots scream out, “Talk about me too!”  So, without trying to ignore anyone, let’s see:

Juliet is chosen by a Dwarfish designer to model (wearing a beard, of course) their new line of micromail (which doesn’t chafe!)   Pratchett must have been watching a lot of Project Runway, as he has a lot of fun with the behind-the-scenes of a fashion show.  (Drinking, partying till all hours  & all kinds of questionable behaviors).  And he introduces a wonderfully enigmatic character named Pepe a dwarfish? woman? who drinks a lot (!) but he? may not be a woman? although she? is very good with a sharp knife in a dark alley.

A new race also comes into Ankh-Morpork.  Orcs!  And we all know that orcs rip peoples heads off.

The Shove is also introduced.  The Shove is basically the will of the street. The invisible hammer that hits you on the head and says you ain’t supposed to do that.  It takes a strong person to resist the Shove, and really this whole story is about resisting the Shove. The Glenda scenes are particularly wonderful in this regard.

Lord Vetinari, who disapproves of football (even though he knows an awful lot about it), decides to make it a more proper sport by adding rules to it and, you know, putting it in a stadium, rather than on the streets. The Shove resists this change and sets out to see that it fails. Rules be damned.

We also see Vetinari’s “relationship” with her Ladyship, the Uberwaldian Lady who was in charge of Nutt before he was dispatched to Ankh-Morpork.

We also learn that Nutt, the goblin, has a secret past that even he is not aware of (although he is surrounded by phantom birds squawking awk! at him quite a lot.  When his secret is revealed it changes the way everyone looks a him (actually, it really changes the way he looks at himself, because as we all know by now, Ankh Morpork for all of its uncivilities is the most racially tolerant city ever (the police force has vampires, werewolves and trolls on it for crying out loud, why should a goblin have to hide himself?)).

And so, we get a romance subplot (or two…with some wonderfully literal metaphors from Nutt and a minor Cyrano reference).  We get some cool thuggery in the streets (and another new character, Andy, who never met a fight he didn’t want to start).  And, of course we get a heaping helping of the wizards!

The Unseen University’s wizards pop up from time to time in the Discworld books, so it’s fun to get to see inside the building from time to time.  We also get to see Mustrum Ridcully interact with the “treasonous” Dean who left UU for the up and coming Brazeneck College (where he is now Archchancellor, gasp!)  There’s some great comments about magic (and how doing magic to save the day usually means trying to use magic to save every day after that, too).  And, there’s some wonderful jabs at academic life too.

And of course, there is football. The whole reason for football coming into the University is that a bylaw states that they must field a football team every thirty years or so or they will lose a huge endowment.  So, the wizards, who are far more interested in eating than moving, must now try and kick a ball around.

Pratchett really gets to the heart of a football match.  He’s got the excitement down (when the writer from the Times tries to transcribe a match in progress).  You’ve got the hooligans, you’ve got the first Wave, and you’ve got wonderful offsides jokes.  I don’t know what it is about British comedies but they love to make fun of the offsides rule.  (Red Dwarf (my go-to comedy for having a funny joke about almost any topic) has this funny one from the one female cast member: “I mean I’ve tried to fit in I’ve really tried. I even learnt what offside meant”).

Regardless of your appreciation for football or even sports, this is a great Discworld addition.  It’s really got everything (even a cameo by Sam Vimes).  I think this book is longer than recent entries, as well (of course I’m too lazy to confirm that), but it reads very fast.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Discworld series, this is a good place to start reading.  There are some 40 books in the series so starting at the beginning would take you a long time to get here.  Some of the books assume prior knowledge of the series.  But this one doesn’t really.  There may be a few things that you won’t get, but he does a good job of bringing you up to speed.

And really, who doesn’t love a good comic novel from time to time.  The humor is at times childish, but it also has delightful sophistication and wonderful awareness of high and low culture.  I enjoyed this exchange very much (it’s not an exact quote):

Glenda tells Juliet that she should try to speak more posh, that it would be better for her is she didn’t sound so lower class.

Juliet protests, saying that she doesn’t want to sound like–
“My fare, lady” says the trolley conductor.

It works better in the original, but the joke made me laugh out loud.  I’m delighted that Terry is still able to put out such quality work!

Many many years ago, I discovered Might magazine.  It was a funny, silly magazine that spoofed everything (but had a serious backbone, too).  (You can order back issues here).  And so, I subscribed around issue 13.  When the magazine folded (with issue 16–and you can read a little bit about that in the intro to Shiny Adidas Track Suits) it somehow morphed into McSweeney’s, and much of the creative team behind Might went with them.

The early volumes (1-5 are reviewed in these pages, and the rest will come one of these days) are a more literary enterprise than Might was.  There’s still a lot of the same humor (and a lot of silliness), but there are also lengthy non-fiction pieces.  The big difference is that McSweeney’s was bound as a softcover book rather than as a magazine. And, I guess technically it is called Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern as opposed to Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.

Issue #6 came with a CD of music by They Might Be Giants.  And from then on it was anybody’s guess what the next issue would look like.  (This Wikipedia page provides a nice summary of all of the issues that have been published, including authors).

The latest issue (#33) is being printed as a newspaper (just to give an idea of the diversity of product here).

The books (for most of them are books, despite the above newspaper) come out occasionally.  I gather it was supposed to be a quarterly, but I don’t know that they’ve ever really kept a schedule. Many of the books are hardcover (beautifully bound).  Some have been paperbacks.  Occasionally they come in a fancy packaging (boxes, slipcases etc). You never know what you’re going to get, which is a lot of the fun.

Although you do know that you’re going to get quality short stories.  The list of fantastic (and well-known) authors grows and grows. (Just a few: Michael Chabon, Stephen King, David Foster Wallace, George Saunders, Roddy Doyle, A.M. Homes, and Joyce Carol Oates.)  And mixed in with them are less well known (ie. more indie) authors, as well as occasional unknowns.  And even if I don’t love every story, I know that they’ll all be worth a read.

McSweeney’s itself has grown from a publisher of this quarterly to include an empire that publishes books (their book of the month club is the way to go), an official periodical (The Believer), and a video magazine (Wholphin).

I am probably a little too steeped in McSweeney’s-world, but I’ve never been disappointed with a release of theirs (okay, that’s not true, they have published a few clunkers).  I’m always excited to get the box with the little chair as the return address.

And, of course, I began a Wikipedia page of all of the McSweeney’s Books. I’m delighted to see that folks have been adding to it!

Original mention in Periodicals Page:

McSweeney’s. Technically a periodical. A collection of short stories and things like it. I’m usually too overwhelmed by the time this comes in, and frankly, I am many many issues behind on reading this. However, I plowed through 21 and 22 recently, and just got 23. So, I’m looking forward to it and its brethren. I got turned onto McSweeney’s because I used to subscribe to MIGHT magazine (R.I.P) which was a hilarious magazine ala Spy (R.I.P). Might ran for a dozen or so issues and then strangely morphed into McSweeney’s. I think somehow my subscription ran over into McSweeney’s and the rest is 23 issues of fun!

SOUNDTRACK: KATE BUSH-Aspects of the Sensual World (1989).

This was the first CD single that I can remember acquiring.  I got it from the radio station at school, and I felt like I was in on a big secret having all of these bonus tracks.

There are five songs on this disc.  The original “The Sensual World” and an instrumental version of the song.  The three bonus songs are pretty rocking songs that fit nicely with this era of Kate’s output.  “Be Kind to My Mistakes” sounds like it should be a sweet ballad, but no, it’s all percussion-heavy and fun.  And “I’m Still Waiting” is even more intense, with some of Kate’s over the top vocals added in.

The final track, “Ken” is the theme song to The Comic Strip Presents short film The GLC.  It’s a wonderful theme song, even if the film is a parody.  It’s got a singalong “da da da” chorus and fist pumping backing vocals and all sorts of fun things.  You can see the “preview” for the film along with Kate’s song, on YouTube.

This disc is something of a trifle compared to her full CDs, but it’s an easier way to get these tracks than buying This Woman’s Work!  When The Sensual World came out I assumed that Kate cut off all her hair (judging by the cover), but this cover belies that.  I wonder which one is a wig.

[READ: November 13, 2009] “An Insurrection”

This story won the Esquire fiction contest.  I fully intended to submit a story to this contest, but, well, I forgot.  I didn’t write a word for it (although I did spend a few days thinking about what I would write about).  If I had won the contest, I would of course have wanted people to read my story, so I felt it was the least I could do to read the winner’s story.

And I’m a little mixed about it.

I’m not at all certain why there was such emphasis placed on the fact that it was a post- 9/11 scenario.  The jokes about cashing in on people’s insecurities about terrorism were fine but it didn’t really warrant all of the set up about when the story took place.

Really, the story is just about two people growing apart; the time of the story was irrelevant (and yes, I do understand that everyone is more tense with fears of terrorism, but it doesn’t really impact the story).  I found the introduction of the story to be quite compelling.  But when it started to turn into a “she’s going to leave me because I’m fat” gripe, I lost interest.

The story did reverse that trajectory, thankfully, and the final section was gross but interesting.  And I have to say that the final lines (within the context of the whole story) were fantastic.

My biggest gripe however, comes with Esquire itself. They included two pictures with the story.  One references a wet T shirt description in the story (which I needed to cover up when reading in the library).  The second, and yes, I’m writing this in all caps:  THE SECOND PICTURE TOTALLY GAVE AWAY THE “TWIST” IN THE STORY!  And, it came right at a time in the story WHERE PLACING THE PICTURE WOULD GIVE THE READER NO DOUBT ABOUT WHAT THE PICTURE REPRESENTED.

Talk about spoilers.  Of all the things they could have put a picture of, they had to put that one?  Hey Esquire, if I were the contest winner, I’d be pissed if you gave away the (admittedly minor) twist in the end of my story.  So, I hope that Walsh isn’t too pissed (he did win, after all).  But man, it so obviously impacted my reading of the story, that I couldn’t appreciate it for what it was trying to do.

I can’t honestly say how much I would have enjoyed the story if this wasn’t so obviously given away, because I spent much of the last section expecting it to be spoiled.  Pity, really.

I’m being a little dramatic, yes.  I’m sorry.

Overall, the story was good. I’m quite certain that nothing I would have written would have made it into Esquire (I don’t think I’ve ever written a story with the word “tits” in it).  So, I won’t sit around wondering “what if.”  Rather, I’ll just enjoy the story for what it was: a look at midlife crisis (in an out of control environment).

Congratulations Walsh.  Well played.

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-The Hungry Saw (2008).

It was the releases of this Tindersticks disc (their first in 5 years) on the venerable Constellation Records (in North America) that inspired my trip through their back catalog. I was completely surprised to see them released on Constellation, as the band doesn’t exactly fit with the label’s stereotypical style (although, realistically with the last dozen or so releases, Constellation has really expanded the kind of music they release).

And this is a fantastic Tindersticks release!  There’s not a bad song on the disc. And, even though nothing is as immediately gripping as say “Can We Start Again,” the disc contains some of the band’s strongest songs.  “The Hungry Saw” is simply amazing, both lyrically and in its catchy (yet creepy) chorus.  But the highlight is probably “Boobar, Come Back to Me,” a song that begins slowly and builds gloriously, including a call and response segment that makes this song really swagger.

“Mother Dear” features a strangely comical musical episode.  In an otherwise very mellow piano based track, right in the middle of the song, come slashing, somewhat atonal guitar chords.  It’s as if a more rocking song is trying to overtake the mellow track.  (The coup is rebuffed, though).

The biggest thing to note about the disc is that longtime co-songwriter Dickon has left the band.  And so, some of the co-writing duties have been taken up by David Boulter.  While it is obviously sad that Dickon has left, Staples seems revitalized on this disc, and Boulter’s additions (especially his quirky instrumentals) bring a new point of view to the proceedings.  Also of note is something of a return to the orchestral style (albeit a much more understated version).  However, different songs emphasize different aspects: horns on one, strings on another, but always underscored by the ubiquitous Hammond organ.

It’s not a radical departure or anything like that.  It’s more of a continuation after a well earned vacation.  And it’s certainly their strongest release since their first four.

[READ & WATCHED: October 2009] Souvenir of Canada, Souvenir of Canada 2 & Souvenir of Canada (the movie)

I got the first Souvenir of Canada when it came out.  (I was on a big Coupland kick and may have even bought it in Montreal).  I didn’t get #2 when it came out, probably because I didn’t really invest a lot of effort into the first one.  But after recently reading City of Glass, I wanted to get a little more involved in Coupland’s visual art.  So, I picked up #2 and, while investigating this second book, I discovered that he had made a film of the books, too.

Coupland explains in the introduction that this book is his personal vision of what Canada is like. It is designed for Canadians as something of a nostalgia trip, but it is also something of an introduction to unseen Canada for non-Canadians.  And so, what you don’t get is pictures of mounties and Tim Hortons and other things that fit the stereotypical Canadian bill. Rather, you get things that are significant to Coupland (and maybe the average Canadian born on the West Coast in the 60s).

He begins with Baffin Island and moves more or less alphabetically through significant things in his Canadian existence: chimo (the short lived Canadian greeting), wonderfully aggressive anti smoking ads on packs of smokes, the Group of Seven, Inuksuit rock statues (like on the cover of this Rush album), the maple leaf (the flag’s only been around since 1967), ookpik, Poutine, stubbies, Trans-Canada highway, through to Zed.

Coupland give s brief paragraph or two (or more in some cases) about the item/idea/concept and how it related to his life.  It certainly provides an insight into a culture that is often hidden in plain sight (especially to Americans).

I especially enjoyed learning about Capitaine Crounche.

Pictures feature heavily in the book.  There are a lot of stock photos of various Canadian items.  And there are a lot of photos that Coupland has used by permission to enhance his descriptions.

Coupland has also created several “still lifes” which he finds to be quintessentially Canadian.  They feature elements from his childhood mashed together into a disconcerting yet oddly familiar scene. So there are beer bottles and electronic hockey games and Canada geese and all manner of things.  Although I have to say that I don’t find them very appealing as art.

The second book picks up where the previous one left off two years earlier.

The first book is more text heavy than the second.  This volume has a lot more photos (not original ones, more stock footage pictures, which I rather like).  It begins with some abstract ideas about Being Canadian, but moves steadily into the CMHC Houses (which will come into play for Canada House), the brilliant Robertson screwdriver, his mom’s kitchen (a favorite of mine), Terry Fox, Tranna (Toronto), Treeplanters , Y?? (airport designations…Toronto’s is YYZ, hey, like the Rush song!), through to Zut!

The Robertson Screwdriver looks like this. And it doesn't strip like a Phillips head.

This volume feels even more personal. He discusses the prevalence of Canada Geese (and that his family raised some when he was little).  There’s his mother’s kitchen and of course, Canada House.  Canada House was a project that DC undertook.  He found a CMHC house that was destined for destruction.  He was able to decorate it with his art to make it quintessential Canadian.  It is fascinating to see, and seems like it would have been quite cool to visit (for the two weeks it was in operation). The fact that he adds personal information about the experiment (people who visited and where they were from) is great.

As I said the pictures in the books are a lot of fun.  I loved the Eatson’s catalog from the 70s, and, of course, the shots from Canada House are wonderful.  DC also wrote a book about Terry Fox a couple of years after this, so the pages about him are quite moving.

This is a wonderful continuation of the series, and I think I wound up enjoying this volume more.

As far as I can tell the Souvenir of Canada DVD was recently reissued with this new cover (on the left).  I prefer the original cover (on the right) [or is that the U.S DVD release?].  I didn’t read about any real difference between the two editions, so I assume it is just repackaged.

The DVD is something of a video version of the books, but there are many differences. The documentary doesn’t go through either book with a lot of detail.  It does mention a half or dozen or so entries, and there may even be some quotes from the books.  For the most part, it contains a few highlights from the books, but it goes off on its own tangents quite a bit.  The film also features music from the New Pornographers, so that’s nice too.

The first notable thing to me was Coupland’s voice.  I have never heard him speak before and it was absolutely nothing like what I expected (especially how slow his pace is).

The main focus of the DVD tends to fall on the aforementioned Canada House.  Even though the pictures of Canada House in the book are very cool, I felt like the book didn’t show enough of this cool exhibition.  The centerpiece of the film shows Coupland picking, tearing apart, cleaning up and assembling Canada House.  We get to see a lot of the things that he talks about it the book, but we get a more 360 degree Canada House experience.  It’s very interesting.

Like the books, the film is one man’s opinion of what Canada is.  What I like about it is that it is a very uncommerical (and I think very Vancouver-centric) opinion.  It also reflects back onto Coupland’s childhood (in the lat 60s/early 70s), and I learned more about him in a few moments than in all of the book jacket blurbs I’ve read.  It comes across as so much nostalgia.  But it clear that Coupland loves his home land.  And it’s that kind of passion that makes any art compelling.

As I said, I found a lot of his still lifes to be to random at best (he says you have to be Canadian to really appreciate them, but I think even aesthetically they’re a little blah).  But the standalone sculptures are all pretty cool.  He made some lamps out of fisherman’s floats (which are HUGE!).  But the most interesting items are the quilts.  He didn’t make them, but he designed them and they are all very cool. I especially liked the $1,000 quilt which is made of 1,000 loonie coins.

It was also interesting to learn that the Canada House exhibit was exported to London (the final line of the movie is hilarious).

So, which is the best of the three?  Obviously I think the film is the most fully formed and three-dimensional.  (The Canada House thing is very neat). But the books are also a lot of fun too.  Even if you’re not especially interested in Canada, if you enjoy seeing pop culture before it gets assimilated into corporate culture, this is a fun look at what Canada used to be like.  And, of course, Coupland’s writing is always engaging.

SOUNDTRACK: CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND-Trout Mask Replica (1968).

–Fast and Bulbous.
–Bulbous yes, but also tapered.

This is an infamous disc in the history of music.  Which surprises me, as I can’t imagine many people have ever listened to it in its entirety.  I learned about it though my Frank Zappa fascination (he produced the record).

This disc also holds some kind of fascination for fiction writers.  I recall an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 (yes, of course I watched it) in which a new character was introduced.  He was a cool hip indie guy and I thought he was finally a cool character on a show I was getting rather sick of.  But because he was different, he was of course mocked.

He is first mocked for keeping his records in alphabetical order (and come on, anyone with more than 50 discs has to, it’s not a sign of weirdness, just common sense).  And second he was mocked for owning this album (picture a 90210er say Captain Beefheart?).  Of course, later on, he goes on to commit murder or arson or some other thing, thereby proving that alternative music is only for psychopaths, but heck, when has TV ever lied to us?

And now, this disc is a favorite of the hero of this book (which is what prompted me to bust out the disc and give it a listen).

And so wow, what a weird album.  Even 41 years later this record is still waaay out there.   The disc opens with “Frownland.”  And how to describe it?  The left speaker is playing sort of free jazz guitar chords.  The right speaker is playing a wild atonal guitar solo with a thumping bass.  In both speakers you get all over the place (but rather quiet) drums and the good Captain himself singing in a voice that could have inspired Tom Waits.  And the Captain’s song would be a very catchy melody if it had anything to do with what everyone else was playing (which it doesn’t).  And the whole things lasts for under 2 minutes.  There’s 28 songs not unlike this one, for a total of about 75 minutes.

Some other treats: a wild skronking horn solo on one song.  There’s also a song about the Holocaust.  And there’s even several music-free spoken word “poetry” readings.  And of course, the aforementioned bulbous quote.

Amidst this chaos are three songs that are more or less songs in the conventional sense, “Moonlight on Vermont,” “Veteran’s Day Poppy” and “Sugar ‘n Spikes,” meaning they have verses and choruses and whatnot.  But even those are still pretty far out and won’t be (and haven’t been) on the radio anytime soon.

Word is that this is a hugely influential disc and it lands on all kinds of Best Album Of All Time lists.  I can see that it has influenced a few people over the years (Devandra Banhart comes to mind), but still.  This is the kind of music you put on at a party when you want everyone to go home.

[READ: November 6, 2009] I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President

I heard about this book when Jon Stewart gave it a big plug on The Daily Show (the author is one of the writers for the show).  After many of the “heavy” titles that I’d been reading, it was a delight to read something that was purely comic.

And it was very funny indeed.

The book reminded me in many ways of Artemis Fowl (if Aretmis hadn’t turned over a new leaf–and without the fairies, of course).  In fact, I’m not entirely sure what the age group for the book is.  The main character is in seventh grade (and the language is very mild, certainly suitable for kids).  But when I found it in the book store, it was in the adult section.  So, I’m not entirely sure where to place it.

Anyhow, the premise here is that Oliver Watson is an evil genius.  Evil here doesn’t mean psychotic or sociopathic, he doesn’t want to kill people.  He just wants things to go the way he wants.  All the time.  And he is usually quite successful.  He is, after all, one of the top 5 wealthiest people in the world.  And he’s only in 7th Grade.

But as any genius knows, a 7th grader can’t be one of the richest men in the world, so he needs a front.  And he has hired Sheldrake to be the face of his wealth (at least until he is 18).

Oliver is pretty contemptuous of people in general, but of children in general.  He believes that all children are stupid (and he cites many examples of middle school behavior to back him up).  He also thinks most of his teachers are stupid (and in one case he tries to set two of them up so that they can make each other miserable (ha!)).

And so, his public face to the whole school (and even to his parents) is that of a complete moron.  He sleeps during class, he answers poorly and, most importantly he talks like a blithering idiot.  But if he thinks everyone is beneath contempt, then why does he wan to be class president?

Well, first, because he was nominated. The most evil girl in school Tati, nominated him, presumably as a joke (although she may suspect that he’s not as dumb as he seems).  But he refused the nomination.  So then, why?

Well, that has a lot to do with his family.  The most important part of his family is his dog Lollipop.  Lollipop is a specially trained pit bull (photo included in the book).  And wait till you here how well trained she is!  As for the rest of his family, his mother is fat and dumb and rather lovable (and he does love her…he allows that much affection in his life). His father is, well, let’s say his father is not very happy that his life was ruined by the birth of this idiot son of his.  In fact, his father has made no bones about his distaste for his son.  So, when Oliver learns that his father won class president and it was the most important day of his life, well Oliver sets out to show him that any idiot (namely himself) can do it.

And he is willing to do ANYTHING to win (including spend a lot of his vast fortune) and deliberately make a fool of himself in front of everyone.  So imagine his surprise when he suddenly gets a trio of girls in his class making posters for him (their moms will have to “win” a lottery one of these days).

But what happens when all of his plans go awry (as you know they will)?  And just how many enemies can a 7th grader make?

This book was very very funny.  The way that Oliver spoke and dismissed others was great.  The running cigarette joke is hilarious.  As are all of the wonderful literary jokes (he’s trying to set up the English teacher after all).  In fact, everything to do with Mr Moorhead is fantastic.  And the pacing is wonderful  It’s a super fast read, and I laughed on just about every page (except during the explosions).

I was also very amused by the whole Captain Beefheart thing.  (What a wonderfully weird thing to have as a kid’s favorite band…how on earth would he have ever heard of it?)

The only complaint about the book I had was with the plates (well, specifically because one was missing).  There are pictures scattered through out the book.  They are all referenced in the text (ie. See Plate 1 for  picture of Lollipop).  And many of them are funny.  The problem was that Plate Number 16 was not included in the book!  It’s nowhere to be found.  And it had the potential to be the funniest one of all, as it was meant to show a typical PBS pledge drive (his father works for the local affiliate).  Given the mock up of other scenes, I think the PBS one would have been great.

That said, one printing error does not in any way detract from the book.  It’s a great read.  It’s very funny. What else can I write?

As Oliver himself might say:

Chapter 1:

I am Done now

Chapter 2:

Stop reading

Chapter 3:

What are you, an idiot?  I said stop reading.

SOUNDTRACK: ONE RING ZERO-As Smart as We Are (2004).

I had this CD sitting around my house for about 4 years.  I had received it as a promo disc from Soft Skull Press (along with several other books on CD) and I just never put it on.  Then one day I was going through all these promos to see if any were books I wanted to listen to.  It was then that I actually read the disc label and saw that it was a band with lyrics written by some of my favorite authors.

I liked the disc so much I wound up buying it because the packaging is truly cool.  It’s a little booklet and it features an interview with the band and some really cool insights into how the songs came about, how they got the writers to submit lyrics, and the cool fact that One Ring Zero became McSweeney’s house band, accompanying writers during their weekly readings.

One Ring Zero is comprised of two guys (and guests).  And for this disc they split the tracks in half and one of them wrote melodies for 8 songs and the other guy wrote melodies for the other 8.  I’m not sure that I could tell the song writers apart by their styles, though.

But sure, the lyrics are probably great, but what does the band sound like?  Well, in the introduction, they are described as specializing “in the sort of 19th century, gypsy-klezmer, circus-flea-cartoon music you mainly hear in your dreams.” And, yep, that is a good summary of things.  The band uses water pipes, claviola, slide whistle and a theremin (among other homemade instruments).

And so, as with other McSweeney’s things, I’m going to list all of the lyricists with their titles.  But lyrically it’s an interesting concoction.  The authors were asked to write lyrics, but not necessarily songs.  So some pieces don’t have choruses.  Some pieces are just silly, and some pieces work quite nicely.  But most of them are really poems (and I can’t really review poems).  They’re fun to read, and it is fun to see what these authors made of this assignment.

PAUL AUSTER-”Natty Man Blues”
A rollicking opening that lopes around with the nonsensical lyrics, “There ain’t no sin in Cincinnati.” This one feels like a twisted Western.

DANIEL HANDLER-”Radio”
A supremely catchy (and rather vulgar) song that gets stuck in my head for days.  “Fucking good, fucking good, fucking good…”

DARIN STRAUSS-”We Both Have a Feeling That You Still Want Me”
A Dark and somewhat disturbing song that is also quite fun.

RICK MOODY-”Kiss Me, You Brat”
A delicate twinkly piece sung byguest vocalist Allysa Lamb *the first female vocalist to appear) .  Once the chorus breaks in, it has an almost carnivalesque tone to it.  This is the only song whose lyrics were written after the music.

LAWRENCE KRAUSER-”Deposition Disposition”
A twisted song that works as a call and response with delightful theremin sounds.  It has a very noir feel.

CLAY McLEOD CHAPMAN-”Half and Half”
This is a sort of comic torchy ballad.  Lyrically, it’ a bout being a hermaphrodite (and it’s dirty too).  Vocals by Hanna Cheek.

DAVE EGGERS-”The Ghost of Rita Gonzalo”
This has a sort of Beach Boys-y folky sound (albeit totally underproduced).  But that theremin is certainly back.

MARGARET ATWOOD-”Frankenstein Monster Song”
This song begins simply with some keyboard notes but it breaks into a very creepy middle section.  It’s fun to think of Margaret Atwood working on this piece.

AARON NAPARSTEX-”Honku”
This song’s only about 20 seconds long.  It is one of a series of haikus about cars, hence honku.

DENIS JOHNSON-”Blessing”
The most folk-sounding of all the tracks (acoustic guitar & tambourine).  It reminds me of Negativland, somehow.  It is also either religious or blasphemous.  I can’t quite be sure which.

NEIL GAIMAN-”On the Wall”
A tender piano ballad.  The chorus gets more sinister, although it retains that simple ballad feel throughout.  It’s probably the least catchy of all the songs.  But lyrically it’s quite sharp.

AMY FUSSELMAN-”All About House Plants”
An absurdist accordion-driven march.  This is probably the most TMBG-like of the bunch (especially when the background vocals kick in).

MYLA GOLDBERG-”Golem”
This song opens (appropriately) with a very Jewish-sounding vibe (especially the clarinet).  But once that intro is over, the song turns into a sinister, spare piece.

A.M. HOMES-”Snow”
This song opens as a sort of indie guitar rock song.  It slowly builds, but just as it reached a full sound, it quickly ends.  The song’s lyrics totally about twenty words.

BEN GREENMAN-”Nothing Else is Happening”
This song has more of that sinister carnivalesque feel to it (especially when the spooky background vocals and the accordion kick in).  The epilogue of a sample from a carnival ride doesn’t hurt either.

JONATHAN AMES-”The Story of the Hairy Call”
This song has a great lo-fi guitar sound (accented with what sounds like who knows what: an electronic thumb piano?).  It rages with a crazily catchy chorus, especially given the raging absurdity of the lyrics.

JONATHAN LETHEM-”Water”
This track is especially interesting. The two writers each wrote melodies for these lyrics.  So, rather than picking one, they simply merged them. It sounds schizophrenic, but is really quite wonderful.  The two melodies sound nothing alike, yet the work together quite well.

[READ: Some time in 2004 & Summer 2009] Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans

This was the first collection of McSweeney’s humorous stories/pieces/lists whatever you call them.  Some of the pieces came from McSweeney’s issues, but most of them came from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.

The humor spans a great deal of categories, there’s some literary, some absurd, some nonsensical and, most amusingly, lists.  The back of the book has an entire selection of lists, but there are also some scattered throughout the book as well (I don’t know what criteria was used to allow some lists to be in the “main” part).

As with the other McSweeney’s collections, I’m only writing a line or two about each piece.  For the lists, I’m including a representative sample (not necessarily the best one, though!)

Overall, I enjoyed the book quite a lot (which is why I re-read it this year).  There are puns, there are twisted takes on pop culture, there are literary amusements (Ezra Pound features prominently, which seems odd).  It spans the spectrum of humor.  You may not like every piece, but there’s bound to be many things that make you laugh.

TIM CARVELL-”A Brief Parody of a Talk Show That Falls Apart about Halfway Through”
Many times, the titles tells you the whole story.  This is one of those cases.  It’s not the strongest piece, and seems like an odd one to open with.

KURT LUCHS-”The Spirit of Christmas”
This hilarious piece shows the dark side of charities asking, begging then threatening for money.

STUART WADE-”The Briefing: A Play in One Act”
A fantastic example of a press conference in which nothing is revealed (reminds one of presidential press secretaries).

J.M. TYREE-”On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor”
Hilarious pseudo-academic look at how the Death Star’s Trash Compactor could not work within the laws of physics.

JEFF JOHNSON-”Preview of Summer Camps”
Sample brochures from summer camps!

ANDY RATHBUN-”Comments Written on Evaluation of My Speech on Needle-Exchange Programs”
A brief one-note joke, that is pretty funny.

BRODIE H. BROCKIE & R.J. WHITE-”The Newest from Jokeland”
Undermining a lot of “classic” jokes (bar joke, polish joke, farmer’s daughter joke).

ARTHUR BRADFORD-”Excerpts from My Speech on Forest-Fire Prevention”
He’s a very impassioned young man.

JOHN MOE-”As A Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise”
ie., O Brother, Where Art Thou Doing It?

BRIAN KENNEDY-”I Know What You Did Two Moons Ago (The Revenge)”
Reviewed here.  From McSweeney’s #2

STEPHANY AULENBACK-”Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies If It Weren’t for Their Unsuitable Meanings”
ie., Uvula.

T.G. GIBBON-”Reviews of My Daydreams”
With titles and evaluations.

JASON ROEDER-”Insomniacs! I Bring Words of Hope and Wisdom”
More wisdom than hope.

GREG PURCELL-”The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio”
It’s all filthy!  I don’t know Pound that well, so this one is lost on me.

CHRISTOPHER MONKS-”Group Mobilization as a Desperate Cry for Help”
A hilarious send up of flash mobs (remember those).  This one designed with the sole purpose of revenge on a girlfriend. Very funny.

JOHN HODGMAN-”Fire: The Next Sharp Stick”
Reviewed here. From McSweeney’s #2

JOSHUA WATSON-”Not Very Scary Movies”
ie., Friday the 11th.

ALYSIA GREY PAINTER-”Candle Party”
A very detailed candle party at that.

TOM RUPRECHT-”It’s Not Actually a Small World”
Several examples of people meeting non-coincidentally.

JEFF ALEXANDER & TOM BISSELL-”Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One”
Lengthy and humorous political comments about TLOTR.

JOHN MOE-”Canceled Regional Morning TV Shows”
ie., Shame on You, Denver! (one of the longer lists in the book).

GREG PURCELL-”A Letter from Ezra Pound to Billy Wilder, 1963″
Sarcastic and nasty.

KEITH PILLE-”Journal of a New COBRA Recruit”
Hope you know your G.I. Joe.

JOHN HODGMAN-”A Logic Puzzle and Hangover Cure”
Funny plays on math word problems.

MICHAEL IAN BLACK-”Some People Don’t Like Celebrities”
Online insults directed at M.I.B.

R.J. WHITE-”Tips from Jokes and How to Tell Them, Published in 1963″
I’m not sure that the date is relevant, they’re just cliched bits (but funny in this context).

JAKE SWEARINGEN-”How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach”
Birth, First Day of School, etc.

JIM STALLARD-”No Justice, No Foul”
One of my favorite McSweeney’s pieces.  Reviewed here. From McSweeney’s #2.

T.G. GIBBON-”Actual Academic Journals Which Could Be Broadway Shows If They Had Exclamation Points Added!”
ie., Zygote!

CHRIS BACHELDER-”My Beard, Reviewed”
Various people chime in on its quality.

STEPHANY AULENBACK & SEAN CARMAN-”The Name Game”
You’ve done Porn Star name?  What about Witness Protection Program Name?

PETER FERLAND-”Circumstances Under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors”
ie., #6: You notice me.  The rest are longer and quite funny.

ARTHUR BRADFORD-”The Bet”
Details the bet that he can make Fred throw up by punching him in the stomach.

TIM CARVELL-”The Dance Lesson”
Step #15:  I’m sorry I didn’t mean to laugh.

MARK O’DONNELL-”Attack of the Fabulons!”
Reviewed here.  From McSweeney’s #1.

KEVIN SHAY-”Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates”
Whom did the pirate vote for in the Haitian election? ARRRistide

TODD PRUZAN-”A Short Fictional Passage Entitled ‘Drift Nets’ in Which Several Enterprising Characters Troll the High Seas, Exploring Abandoned Trade Vessels for ‘Pirated’ Goods, and Learn to Cope with Distinct Personalities in a Close-Knit, High-Stress Environment”
Reviewed here.  From McSweeney’s #1.

DAN KENNEDY-”Ineffective Lines Deleted from Final Revisions of Violent Box-Office Hits”
Hilariously bad lines that a bad guy might say.

ZEV BOROW-”A Graceland for Adolf”
Reviewed here.  From McSweeney’s #2.

NEAL POLLOCK-”Trinity”
These stories are part of the Neal Pollack Anthology if American Literature.

SEAN CONDON-”Pop Quiz”
Answering the rhetorical questions that pop songs ask.  Like, “Are You Experienced?”

JEFF JOHNSON-”Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers”
ie., El Wusso!

DAN KENNEDY-”Evidently, It was Live Then”
A look back, with the writers who were there, at the difficulties of live TV, because, you know, there isn’t any now.

PAUL TULLIS-”Upcoming Titles from Gavin Menzies, Author of 1421: The Year the Chinese Discovered America“
Not just a list, there are summaries of books like: 1939: The Year Brazil Landed on the Moon

ROSS BARNES-”Good Westerns, Not Porn”
ie., Between Men

KEVIN GUILFOILE-”Norse Legends Reference Page”
Separate Norse faktum from fiksjon.  An odd concept, but very funny.

JIM STALLARD-”Goofus, Gallant, Rashomon”
Looking at Goofus and Gallant from different perspectives. “That freak belonged to the cult of manners.”  Also in The McSweeney’s Joke Book of Book Jokes.

TIM BLAIR-”Not-Good Titles for Romantic Films”
ie., The Horse Renderer

BEN GREENMAN-”Black, Gray, Green, Red, Blue: A Letter from a Famous Painter on the Moon”
Letters to his beloved as he goes batty.

LISTS
Some of the funniest things in the books are the lists, so here’s a few more.

JOHN MOE-”Possible Follow-Up Songs for One-Hit Wonders”
ie., “Bust an Additional Move”

DANIEL ARCHER, PETER McGRATH, JENNY TRAIG-”Thirty Good Names for a Dance Troupe Including Five That Are Already Taken By Actual Dance Troupes, and Two That Are Taken By Cheeses”
ie., Jazzturbation

PETER WARD BROWN-”Ways This One Project Manager Replies to My Replies to Her E-mailed Questions About Documentation”
ie., Thanks.

JIM BEHRLE-”First Lines to Books I Won’t Write”
ie., Michael Kindness slept.

JEFF HURLOCK-”Things NYC Cab Drivers Yelled at Me While I Crossed the Street”
ie., Move it, you hump

SEAN CARMAN-”Lessons Learned from My Study of Literature”
ie., Children have the capacity to both frighten and delight

BRIAN McMULLEN-”All of Chewbacca’s Dialogue in the Comic Book Version of The Empire Strikes Back“
ie., Waark!

AMY L. STENDER-”Capitalized Words and Phrases Appearing in The Official Sea-Monkey Handbook”
ie., HAPPEN

JIM RULAND-”Bad Names for Boats”
ie., Sea Pinto

BLAKE WIRTH-”Actual User Comments in the “Fat Cats” Photo Gallery at Cutecats.com”
ie., I have seen fatter.

ELIZABETH BUTLER-”Ineffective Ways to Subdue a Jaguar”
ie., Hit him with a sock of pennies

JOHN MOE-”Music Industry Trends Not Yet Overexposed”
ie., Trance tuba

And Many many more.  If your list didn’t make my list, let me know and I’ll add you.  I’m just too tired to type any more of the 40 or so that are left.

ALTERNATE TITLES PROPOSED FOR THIS BOOK
Yet another (and the final) list.
ie., A Child’s Garden of McSweeney’s Erotica

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-Tindersticks [the red one] (1993).

Tindersticks are a fascinating band.  The first distinctive thing about them is Stuart Staples’ voice: a deep rich bass that he uses almost like a whisper.  The second thing you notice is the music.  It’s an orchestral/chamber pop collection of dark rockers with fantastic moodiness to it.  And then you notice the lyrics: dark songs of lost (and decayed) love.

Yet despite the description of chamber pop, the nad is really much darker than chamber pop suggests.  The band has a very noir sound: organs that penetrate through walls of sound, tinkling pianos suring hushed moments.  The horns and strings add dark atmospherics (strings zing like a Hitchcock movie).  And the minor key chords are rich and loud.

You also get a song like “Whisky and Water” which genuinely rocks hard (loud guitars are featured).  Or a simple acoustic guitar driven song like “Blood.”  Throughout the disk you get these fantastic melodies that play off of Staples’ voice and the twisted lyrics.  “City Sickness” and “Patchwork” are just two of the tracks that are very catchy.

And then there’s the fantastic “Jism” with its awesome noir organ.  Or “Raindrops” with its accents of vibes and the beautiful piano trilling at the end (and the detailed and emotional lyrics: What we got here is a lazy love / It mooches around the house / Can’t wait to go out / What it needs, it just grabs / It never asks / We sit and watch the divide widen / We sit and listen to our hearts crumble”).  “Her” follows up with a wonderfully flamenco-infused spaghetti western number.

And lets not forget “Drunk Tank” a propulsive song that is as sinister as it is catchy.  Oh heck, I could just keep raving.  But there’s 22 songs!   Four songs are about a minute each, and the disc is about 75 minutes (not bad for a debut!).  And the disc never loses momentum or its sense of purpose.

What really distinguishes this disk is the mood of the music.  Like the best soundtracks, you can feel the emotions and imagery with the music alone, but when you add Staples’ evocative lyrics and powerful voice, it’s a deadly potent combination.

The disc was reissued a few years ago with a bonus disc of demo tracks.  The demos are surprisingly rich (they’re not at-home recordings or done without accompaniment) so they don’t differ that dramatically from the originals.  But they have a slightly less polished feel, which doesn’t hurt the band at all. There’s also a demo of the fantastic “For Those…” which doesn’t appear on the original disc.

I have to thank my friend Lar for getting me into this band. (Thanks Lar).

[READ: October 19, 2009] McSweeney’s #32

The concept for this issue is this: McSweeney’s asked several authors to “travel somewhere in the world–Budapest, Cape Town, Houston, any sleepy or sleepless outpost they could find–and send back a story set in that spot fifteen years from now, in the year 2024.”

And so, all of the stories are vaguely sci-fi-ish in that they are future related, but they are all grounded very heavily in reality, in particular, the reality of individuals trying to live in this future world.

ANTHONY DOERR-”Memory Wall”
This is the longest story in the collection.  And I thought to myself, I don’t think I care all that much about an old white woman in South Africa.  But I have to say, I was utterly engaged by this story.  It was fantastic.  The premise is that in the future, you are able to retrieve and then store your memories on little cards.  You can then re-watch them at any time.  Obviously a black market in other people’s memories quickly develops.

The story features an old woman who is slowly losing her memory.  She uses these memory card treatments to try to retain any sense of her life with her now-deceased husband.  Her husband happened upon a fantastic discovery just before he died.  She doesn’t care about this, she just wants to remember their life.  But when word of his discovery leaks out (the discovery was pretty monumental, and rumors about it spread quickly), an opportunist tries to piece together this discovery by watching her old memories.

What is so cool about this story is that with memories floating in different people’s heads, the story is able to follow different characters around the story.  The old woman , the young opportunist, even the older black man who was her servant (and the man’s son) all have their lives in the spotlight.  And as we get each of their perspectives, the story grows in depth.

The ending scene features generosity from an unexpected source which is unabashedly touching.  This was a truly wonderful story.

WELLS TOWER-”Raw Water”
This story is set in the American desert.  And it offers a water solution that seems like a good idea and a plausible solution.  Pipe water from the  Pacific ocean into a newly created lake in the desert.  This provides a body of water to build towns around; when some of the water evaporates, the clouds will rain the evaporated water onto the dry land.  It’s a great idea.

Except when it doesn’t work.  As it doesn’t here.

Rodney and Cora are traveling across country from Boston to this desert so that Cora can photograph the lake.  The lake is now bright red (because of the plankton and other organisms that thrive in this water body).  The new landscape has a complicated effect on Rodney and Cora, where this vast expanse gets Rodney a little stir crazy.

I enjoyed this story a lot (Wells Tower is becoming a favorite short story writer of mine).  The ending section of the story got a little creepy, and so the story wound up gong in a direction I did not expect, but it was not altogether implausible.  I admit that I missed Cora in the last few pages, which I think is a bit of a flaw, and yet overall the story was very satisfying.

CHRIS BACHELDER-”Eighth Wonder”
This story is set in, I think, Houston (lots of references to Sam Houston, so I assume that’s the locale).  It is set in (what I assume is) the Astrodome.  At any rate, it is set in a dome.  The city has flooded and people are taking refuge there.  People are trying their best to make do with what they have.  But one man, who has been reading the fliers about the dome, decides to make things better.  This is a story of the human spirit and it was quite moving.  Despite the obvious sadness (and parallels to Hurricane Katrina), it was still uplifting.

CHRIS ADRIAN-”The Black Square”
A black square has appeared on Nantucket Island.  If anything enters the square, it never comes back.  And so, people are choosing it as a way to end their current life.  (No one knows for certain what happens when they go into the Square, so they aren’t necessarily committing suicide).  Henry (and his former lover’s dog, Hobart) travel to Nantucket (where he grew up).  Henry is planning to enter the square (there’s a back up plan for Hobart, yes).

But what happens when he meets an interesting, warm and sweet man there?  Can he really get over his former lover?  This was another really strong story.  It begins with you, the reader, not liking Henry, (he has ceased caring about niceties and is awfully rude to a number of people) but as the story progresses, he grows stronger, more complicated and very sympathetic.  A great piece.

J. ERIN SWEENEY-”Oblast”
This story conflates two interesting ideas into one story.  The first is that humanity is being contaminated by a seal virus.  This has naturally led to a wholesale slaughter of seals everywhere (especially of those in captivity).  To protect the seals, organizations have been transporting them out of aquaria and into the open sea where at least they stand a chance (however slim) of survival.

The other story concerns two boys.  Their father has recently become the brutal dictator of a newly formed country, Karabakh.  And the boys have fled to the States.  The boys’ immigration status is in question, but if they are sent back to their homeland, they will surely be killed.  The boys, like the seals, must be sent to a neutral location, where they may or may not survive.  Each boy is different, so the conflict between them only complicates their situation.  And putting them both in a confined space (with seals who may have a virus) has really exacerbated the troubles.

I didn’t know if I’d like this one when it started (there’s a lot of naval/sea talk, which is not my thing), but it proved to be a really great story.

SHEILA HETI-”There is No Time in Waterloo”
This piece is set in Waterloo.  (Although which Waterloo, I don’t know).  As of 2024, Blackberry has created The Mother of all Blackberrys which can essentially predict not your future, but your destiny.  And so everyone consults their Mothers all the time to see what they should do.  There were some interesting things going on here (especially when one of the girls breaks her Mothers and is effectively ostracized) but I couldn’t get emotionally involved in the story.

HEIDI JULAVITS-”Material Proof of the Failure of Everything”
This story is set in Hungary after the collapse of their economy.  Because Hungary had been loaned money from German banks, it transpires that a German banker effectively owns the country.  In a shady deal, he “sold” the country to a rather questionable individual, known as the Visla.  The Visla has decreed that Hungary made the wrong choice in 1989 and so he has insisted that the entire country, buildings and all, be returned to the state they were in, in 1989. This is the Deszecesszionist movement.

The protagonist of the story, Gyula is a spy for Bela (who works for the Visla).  And essentially Gyula’s job consists of listening to people in a particular hotel (whether they are guilty or not) because they have to eavesdrop on someone.  But what happens when Bela is no longer around?  How will Gyula find work?

I loved the tortured and hilarious prose that Juvalits used in this story (especially as it opens).  The turns of phrase were just slightly off, and they made the story very memorable.  It also made you have to slow down a bit to fully read the words.  Very enjoyable (and very twisted as the story reaches it end).

JIM SHEPARD-”The Netherlands Lives with Water”
Yes, this story is about flooding in the Netherlands.  The narrator  is a geologist (or some future variant of a geologist) who knows that the Netherlands is doomed.  His wife, Cato, is a media liaison whose job is to paint a happy face on the eventual doomedness of the Netherlands.  This is definitely the least hopeful story of the bunch.

It begins as rather clinical and somewhat technical, but by the end the emotions come through.  But what makes the story really compelling is the interpersonal dynamics of the main characters.  He is, basically, emotionally stunted when it comes to talking to his wife.  And watching them fight about this, yet stay close because of all of the chaos, keeps the story centered amidst the storm.

SALVADOR PLASCENCIA-”The Enduring Nature of the Bromidic”
This story covers a lot of ground, although it doesn’t appear to be set in the future.  The story focuses on Gonzalo who is studying geology but whose grant keeps getting denied because the government believes he is making too much money.  His wife Cheli is also an academic, and she is writing a paper about the enduring nature of the bromidic, and since her area of focus is television, she sums up her thesis: everyone loves reruns.

There is also a lot of discussion about the reintegration of English into California (which I guess shows that it is set in the future).

But the story really centers around this family’s attempts to thrive against the difficulties of paperwork and the social security administration.  There was even a little bit of fun with bureaucracy as the story ended.  I found the story a little difficult to follow in the beginning (I wasn’t always clear who was who, especially since names are changed on purpose) but it was definitely enjoyable by the end.

But the thing I enjoyed most about this story was saying the authors name: PlahSENceeahhh.

SESSHU FOSTER-”Sky City”
This story had such a great concept: the chaotic winds and storms in future L.A. have pulled people and cars and all manner of things into what they are calling a sky city.  Many people don’t think it exists (but how else to explain cars falling from the sky?)

Two people are going to try and fly to it.  In a homemade zeppelin.  And the set-up of the story is that their entire conversation is being broadcast over pirate radio station.

The only problem I had with the story is that the two characters in the zeppelin really aren’t very interesting.  One (the guy who makes the zeppelins) is an anarchist, the other (the woman who is learning to fly it and who has the radio transmitter) is a communist who sells communist newspapers on the street corner.  Both characters are strident and unflinching in their devotion to opposing society.  But the state of society is such that there doesn’t seem to be much left to overthrow.  Much of the beginning of the story is spent with the two characters arguing back and forth about ideology and his ex-girlfriend.

I just wanted to hear more about Sky City.

There was a lot of cool stuff about the zeppelin (and about how abandoned malls allowed him to build it in secret).  There was also some cool descriptions of flying silently over a sleeping city.  Ultimately, the payoff was rewarding, although, really, I would have liked to have seen more.

–

So overall this was another enjoyable issue.  The artificial constraint on the stories led to some interesting concepts that probably wouldn’t have come out otherwise.  But despite the constraint, the authors chose to focus on the lives of the people, rather than just future events.  And so, the stories are intriguing as well as engaging.  And you can’t ask for much more than that.

SOUNDTRACK: DANKO JONES-Never Too Loud (2008).

Danko Jones is a hard and fast rock band, with a one track mind and a straightforward sound.  They deal in excessive cliches (album titles include: Sleep is the Enemy, We Sweat Blood, Never Too Loud, etc) and play mostly short songs.  And despite all that apparent negativity, I enjoy them beyond reason.

Their first full length was a compilation of their early EPs, and it was full of outrageously short songs about big dumb sex (a bunch of the tracks were under two minutes).  Danko’s voice sounds a but like Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy, to give a frame of reference.

Never Too Loud, despite the name, actually changes their style a little bit.  He throws in a ballad (!), and he’s got one song “Take Me Home” which reminds me an awful lot of Kid Rock.   And songs like “King of Magazines” and “Forest for the Trees” similarly slow the pace down (Forest for the Trees is even 6 minutes long!).  But despite all that, Danko still rocks hard.

And yes, I admit that lyrically the disc isn’t ground breaking (“Still in High School” tends to sum up a lot of the themes here), but I don’t care.  Sometimes it’s fun to just rock out.  And Danko rocks with the best of them.

[READ: October 14, 2009] City of Glass

Douglas Coupland is from Vancouver.  And this book (and the revised edition) is like a love letter to the city (although he describes it as a personalized guide book).

When he first published this in 2000, Coupland had been experimenting with things other than novels, but this was the first book he released that was primarily photography (not his own, mind you).  He mixes photos of Vancouver landmarks as well as stock photos to illustrate the varied and multicultural life of Vancouver.

He also includes alphabetically titled texts in which he writes about a paragraph or two or three about the topic.  Most of these are personal insights into the city.  It’s not a work of fiction or even a collection of essays.  It’s more like love notes about this city.

Topics include: Backlot North (how B.C. comes after only Hollywood and New York as a primary filming location); Cantonese (the influx of Asians to Vancouver is astonishing); Greenpeace (founded there); See-Throughs (it’s not named the city of glass for nothing); Whales (there’s a special connection with the beluga–which I got to see when I was there) and of course, Grow-Ops (Vancouver has some of the strongest pot on the continent).

I’ve had the fortune of going to Vancouver and staying with a friend for a few days.  Getting the insider treatment of this cool city was certainly wonderful. I went to a number of interesting places, all right around the time that this book first came out.  I don’t really remember the details of my trip anymore, so I’m not sure if I went to many of the places specifically mentioned (except for Grouse Mountain of course), but I like to think I got to see a lot of the excitement.

Gushing about a city you went to on vacation is kind of silly, but I feel that Coupland’s excitement is infectious.  This quote more or less says it all: He writes that he spent his “twenties scouring the globe thinking there had to be a better city out there, until it dawned on [him] that Vancouver is the best one going.”  This book may not convince you of that, but it may get a few extra people to visit.

The revised edition doesn’t really change all that much.  A few new categories are added (The Big One, The Storm, Top 100 Surnames, North Shore Mountain Biking).  But then a few categories are removed from the first book too (and a few are in the new book but in different locations or with different titles).  The pictures all look a little brighter and cleaner, which is nice.  The biggest change comes in a few of the pieces (many are left untouched) in which he either updates an issue or changes its focus somewhat.

I was a little disappointed that not every section was updated.  Not because every section should be updated, but for instance, there’s one (Wildlife) in which he said (in 2000), “Last summer a black bear cub ambled down my driveway….”  It’s the same in the 2009 book.  Surely he could have just changed that to “A few years ago,” right?

So, if you’ve got the first edition, I’m not sure that it’s worth getting the revised edition   The pictures are better, sure, but I’m not sure that’s enough to justify the purchase.  If you don’t have either, I’d suggest getting the new one (although you can get a used first version at Amazon for about $3).

Either way, if you like Coupland (the writing is fairly short, but it is full of Coupland’s wit) or if you like Vancouver, this book is definitely a keeper.

The revised edition was also useful because it clued me in to the fact that Coupland has made some films (I knew about the series JPod, but did not know he had made a documentary (Souvenir of Canada) and a feature film (Everything’s Gone Green).  So thanks for that.  Now if only I can find them down here.

This is another periodical that’s not really a “real” magazine.  Sierra comes free when you join the Sierra Club.  I originally didn’t really look at this magazine much either.  Then one day the cover caught my eye, and I discovered there’s a lot of cool stuff in it.  Not the least of which is that there are some gorgeous photos of landscapes and animals (which the kids love) and there’s a ton of good information for living greener.

The early pages of the magazine have lots of interesting short articles, especially about things (that I suppose you could cynically comment about consumption and the planet) that you can buy.  (Things like cereal or trail bars, or, a personal favorite, straws made out of (virtually) unbreakable glass that you don’t discard).  This is followed by “Hey Mr. Green” a column where you can find out how to live a more green and earth-healthy lifestyle.

There’s also an “Innovate” page which talks about technology that is good for the planet (hybrid cars and what not).  And then there’s the “Explore” and “Act” pages which show places to visit and ways to get involved.

I appreciate the “Up to Speed” section which summarizes political actions/decisions and their impact on environmental issues.

This rest of the front section contains more of short pieces, usually half to a whole page about various interesting things: an animal of interest, environmental impact on a certain region, and even a comic article, “Smile.”

The larger articles usually talk about National Parks or other beautiful vistas, whether for visiting, hiking or exploring, and again, the photos are gorgeous.  There’s also some Trail Tips for those folks who do the actual hiking.

This month’s cover article was about the best eco-friendly colleges.  It’s always a fun read to see what kind of new technologies the schools are employing.

The back pages return to shorter articles and also include links to the advertisers that the magazine welcomes (all earth-friendly, of course).  There’s also reviews of environmental-issued books, and news for Sierra Club members.

The back page is usually a thoughtful or a funny picture or cartoon (everyone loves the back page of their magazines).

In Shiny Adidas Tracksuits, there’s a snarky article about professional recreation, and how it will all be a very transient “hobby.”  The Sierra Club definitely caters to those folks.  The magazine lists all kind of nature outings and group trips and hikes and whatnot.  This being 13 years after that article was written I’m not sure if the snark would still apply, or if they would accept that the nature conservationists of the Sierra Club are in it for the long haul.

**

In New Jersey, you also receive the Jersey Sierran, a tiny newspaper all about things happening in New Jersey. I never read it. But since I was writing this up and it came yesterday:  It contains a few articles of local interest (politics mostly) and about 6 pages of outings throughout the state.  We don’t go on these outings, so we don’t really read this paper.  (Although I did appreciate their explanation for why they endorsed third part candidate Chris Daggett for Governor.