SOUNDTRACK: KISS-Alive! (1975).

This was the first Kiss live album and was the album that broke Kiss worldwide.  I’m not entirely sure why a live album of songs that didn’t sell very well would do better than the original studio albums, but so it was.

And, yes, the live recording is pretty awesome.  It is clearly a collection of greatest hits off their first three records, and the band sounds on fire: the songs are heavier and faster and largely more consistent than some of the odder tracks on the original records.

There has been considerable controversy about whether the album was overdubbed.  Wikipedia lists a few different possibilities for what originally recorded sounds were kept for the disc.  It never occurred to me that the disc might be overdubbed (and honestly that doesn’t bother me all that much).  But since I had the pleasure of watching Kissology recently, and I could see the state of their vocals live, it would surprise me entirely if the vocals were not overdubbed.  Not because the band didn’t sound good live (they did), but because they were very sloppy with their vocals, consistently leaving off the ends of lines and things like that, and the disc sounds perfect.

Of course this is all nitpicking.  Alive! is a fantastic document because the live versions add a lot of punch to the originals.  But on top of that, you get fun extras like the drum solo and banter of the 12 minute “100,000 Years” as well as Paul’s drinking banter: “I know there’s a lot of you out there that like to drink…vodka and orange juice!” (How can you pass that up?).  It’s hard to pick highlights from such a good record, but “She” is a particular one with Ace’s wild guitar pyrotechnics.  Right on to the end, the disc is a rocking good time.

It’s also funny to hear that “Rock And Roll All Nite” is not the final encore; rather it is the next to last track with “Let Me Go Rock n Roll” being the BIG FINISH.  That’s the last time that THAT would happen!

[READ: December 28, 2009] The Elfish Gene

I happened to pass this book in the New section of my library and I loved the title.  I read the blurb, made a mental note of it, mentioned how much I liked the title to Sarah and then more or less forgot about it (although, actually, I still see it every day, as it’s always facing out, cover forward).

Imagine my surprise to see that Sarah got it for me for Christmas!

So, yes, this is the best parody-titled book that is not a parody or a make-a-buck joke book that modifies a popular title.  Rather, it is a memoir of a British guy who spent his teen years utterly absorbed in Dungeons & Dragons.  But I must disagree with the Christian Science Monitor’s review as “laugh out loud funny.”  I only laughed out loud once in the book (the dog walking scene is hilarious), but that’s because I don’t think it was meant to be funny (at least I hope it wasn’t).

I’ve said before that I’m not a big fan of memoirs in general.  I find them mostly to be a big “so what,” and often without the subtlety required for a good novel.  But the topic here was delicious enough for me to dive right in.  And I think that this book, which I absolutely enjoyed, sort of proves my theory.

Barrowcliffe has done nothing worthy of anyone caring about.  He’s just a guy who played D&D, so when checking out the book, you kind of feel, so what?  Plus, the book is completely unsubtle, with him summarizing his attitude over and over and over.  But nevertheless, I could not put it down. I was hooked from the opening and was totally intrigued all the way to the end.  (I even put down the book I had been reading to speed right through this).

And yet, Barrowcliffe himself is so unlikable.  And not, as he suggests, because of the D&D.

From the get go, Barrowcliffe basically says that his obsession with D&D made him a loser, and worse, an unlikable loser.  And so what we get is the author’s detailed love affair with fantasy which is perpetually undermined by him regretting that he spent so much of his life doing it.  But as you read the details of his obsession and the fun that he was having in chapter after chapter, this regret, this embarrassment, this humiliation is totally misplaced.  For it is not the D&D that makes him the way he is, it’s a combination of where he lived, the time he grew up, and his rather bad personality.

But let’s get back to basics.  Barrowcliffe grew up in the 70s in Coventry, England, which was pretty much the middle of nowhere.  And this was a time when there was no way to connect to other people aside from going up and talking to them (phone were prohibitively expensive, and obviously there was not internet).  The author was a nerdy kid who willingly accepted the nickname “Spaz” and actually told people to call him that well into his teenage years.

In school, he found a fantasy wargamers group and discovered that he really enjoyed it.   They would create alternate histories of battles and conflicts (I imagine it like an advanced Risk).  One of the main guys in the wargamers group told Mark about D&D.  None of them could afford it as it was an import from America (and cost like £7).  But the author had saved up a few pounds and mail ordered it (the small white box of original D&D which I have, although I ordered it much later).  And what happens when the set arrives is a nutshell version of Barrowcliffe’s life: the other kids are thrilled that he bought the game, but unfortunately since it’s his game, that means that he has to play with them.  He is loud, obnoxious and opinionated.  And unfortunately he doesn’t have that much original thought to keep up with anyone else.

Around the same time that Barrowcliffe was playing D&D, so was I. I’ve included the covers of the 5 first edition books that I own at the side here.  If yo click on them you can buy them too!  Sadly, my original copies are obviously worth nothing if you can buy them for $12, eh?

I started a few years after him and I am also about five years younger than him.  But I am well aware of the mania that D&D produces.  I created characters all the time.  I played with friends.  I joined a group at the library and I read a bunch of fantasy.  So I know what the author is talking about.  The big difference between us is that I didn’t get outrageously obsessed with the game.  The friends I had also liked playing the game, whereas Barrowcliffe made friends through D&D.

D&D attracts all manner of people, but without a doubt the most obsessive gamers tend to be obnoxious, opinionated, condescending and persnickety.  And that’s fine (the game encourages people to feel superior about themselves).  if you act this way while wargaming.  But once you start acting this way in real life, well that becomes a problem.  And if all your friends act that way and you have no other friends to temper them, you become that person yourself.  And this is what happened to him.

So, for Barrowcliffe to blame D&D for his lack of social life is just false.  Not to mention he got a girlfriend at a far younger age than I did, so his social life was better than mine.  It’s quite clear that he has a certain personality which was magnified by the people he played with. And that judgmental personality is still evidence as he writes this book.

He explains that when he was a kid his D&D friends got him into heavy metal (also true for me), but now, his adult self sets out dismissing heavy metal as a stupid genre, just as he dismissed non-metal when he was a teen.  I take personal offense at his mocking of Black Sabbath.  Because even though I like the band that his mature self is now into, I’m not going to dismiss the music that I loved as a kid.

Eventually, Barrowcliffe, grows up, goes to college, acts like a total jerk until he cops on that he’s being a jerk and then somehow gets married.  And yet even at the end of the book he’s still judgmental (against fatties).  His saving grace is that he realizes these errors and apologizes for them (as he retroactively apologizes for his bigoted views as a teen).

But I fear that he overcompensates by disparaging his entire life rather than just his bad behavior.  In fairness, he does include one line in the book where he says that D&D was not to blame for his behavior (phew), but that seems to be undermined by all of the preceding chapters which pretty much imply that it was all D&D’s fault.

What’s especially weird though is that he defends D&D against all the weirdos who were sure that it led to satanism and all that jazz.  It feels like he can’t decide if he’s bashing or enjoying his younger self.  And that conflict is a problem for a memoir.

The thing is that Brrowcliffe clearly is a creative person, and fantasy was  a perfect outlet for a creative kid in what seems like the wastelands of Coventry in the 70s.  The fact that he cultivated the role of an outsider is not surprising when you don’t like anything around you.  And I can’t help but think, with his personality, that if it were not for fantasy that he would have been doing far worse things than inventing characters.

Having gotten that gripe out of my system, I really loved the book.  I enjoyed reading about his obsessions, and about the characters he created, the games he played and even the unlikable people that he hung out with.  I would love to have heard more about Billy during the intervening years, and was sad to hear how he turned out).

Barrowcliffe became a professional writer of fiction and non-fiction (and a stand up comic? really?).  Although many of the example of his earlier writing he mocks as being over the top (which they were), no doubt the fantasy worlds he created were essential to his eventual career.

The strangest thing about this book which more or less trashes D&D is that the target audience has got to be D&D players.  I can’t imagine any non D&Der seeing that title and saying, ooh, just what I wanted to read!  Because yes, D&Ders are still the butt of jokes, except in Freaks & Geeks where even the cool guy gets into playing it with the geeks–hooray!).  And yes, even I find obsessive D&Ders to be offputting (but that’s more about obsessive personality types than what they are currently obsessed with).  So, to write this book and essentially mock D&D players (which he does) seems to be shooting your target audience in the foot.  Weird.

So, overall, I really enjoyed this book.  No, really, I did.  I honestly couldn’t put it down.  I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen to him next (and there are so many interesting friends and situations described).  And I loved remembering all of the books that came out and making sure to get the latest one (I’m surprised he never mentioned my personal favorite, The Fiend Folio).  I even enjoyed remembering the die rolling and seeing the cool campaigns that they go on.  I just flinched whenever he held D&D responsible for what was clearly his own personality defects.

So, if you like D&D be advised that you may be on the receiving end of some abuse.  But if you used to play D&D and have long since given it up, it’s an amusing book to reminisce about what you used to do (written by someone who was clearly more obsessed than you).  It’s also interesting to see it from a British perspective, where it wasn’t as readily available (even if all the best fantasy bands came from Britain.  Come on, Barrowcliffe, you’re going to mock Saxon?).

We all regret things that we did in our childhood, but to dismiss them and assume that they are the cause of our lameness is not a valid excuse. Of course, having said all that, I suppose a memoir about playing D&D with no regrets wouldn’t be quite as dramatic, so what do I know.

The book also made me go online and finally track down some Hawkwind (after learning about them from The Young Ones nearly 25 years ago: “Play some Hawkwind or Marillion!”).

SOUNDTRACK: KISS-Kiss (1974).

I’ve always loved the first Kiss record.  Everything about it is over the top, and I can’t imagine what people thought of it when it hit shelves back in 1974.

And yet, for such a preposterous looking record, the tracks are really great.  The music is a mixture of pop, Rolling Stones rock swagger, Beatles harmonies, and a sort of proto-heavy metal.

“Strutter” proves to be a great opening track with a great riff and fun vocals.  And it’s just one of thousands of Kiss songs about hot chicks that, because of its metaphorical/obscure lyrics is less offensive than it might have been.  “Nothin’ to Lose” is another lyrically inscrutable song that I’ve always assumed was very dirty: “Before I had a baby, I tried every way.  I thought about the back door.  Didn’t know what to say.”  And yet it is so outrageously poppy that no one minds singing along.  “Firehouse” is a wonderfully over the top song with great falsetto vocals and an awesome solo from Ace. “Cold Gin”  is another rocking classic with cool basswork and guitar solo notes over a standard rocking verse.  Side one ends with”Let Me Know” a pop song hiding under the guise of a heavy rock song.  The song is such a poppy bit of fluff (check out the soulful harmonies before the ending guitar solo kicks in), but it works wonders.

Side Two starts with a silly cover of “Kissin’ Time” that of course is appropriate for this band (and if they went for a more poppy sound overall, this would have been their anthem, no doubt).  “Deuce” follows, and it blasts forth with some heavy stuttering and slighty off-sounding guitars.  It also has the best opening lyric ever: “Get up and get your grandma out of here.” Which is later followed by one of the top ten Huh? choruses off all time, “You know your man is working hard, he’s worth a deuce.”  (Rampant speculation as to what a “deuce” was in 1974 can be found online).  I’ve always loved the ”Love Theme from Kiss” which is possibly the most hated pre-disco Kiss song that I can think of.  It’s a weird pseudo-middle-eastern instrumental that I’ve always thought was trippy and funny.  And then comes “100,000 Years,” another one of my favorite songs.  Again, the lyrics are just bizarre (and I’ve always mis-heard them until I looked them up just now: “How could you have waited so long, it must have been a bitch while I was gone” (I’d always thought the “it” was actually “you” which means the song isn’t as nasty as I ‘d always thought).  So, it’s sort of like The Odyssey, then.  But musically the song is just phenomenal: a great guitar riff over simple bass notes and a staggering guitar solo.

The disc ends with the outstanding “Black Diamond.”  There’s so much to love about this song.  It’s a gritty tale about life on the streets.  It opens with a pretty acoustic guitar ballad sung by Paul.  Then, after the awesome “Hit it!” the song kicks in powerfully.  Peter takes over vocals, and his rough voice works perfectly.  It’s only five minutes long, but it feels like a great epic track.  No the least of which is because the song ends with a cool concept: a single note, punctuated with drums, that is slowed down (from the original taped master), getting slower and slower making the notes sound heavier and heavier, slower and slower.  You can even hear the drum riff played at a by-now snail pace.  It’s very cool.

This is really a great album, and it’s somewhat overshadowed by their mid 70’s more famous music.  And if you like 70s rock but don’t think you like Kiss, this is one disc you can sneak into your collection.

[READ: December 20, 2009] The New Sins

I’m not entirely sure what to make of this.  I bought it from McSweeney’s in their attic sale for a couple of bucks.  David Byrne is Talking Heads David Byrne, so everything he makes is arty, avant garde and hard to fathom on a first listen/view.  But I’m unlikely to read this again, so he gets a cursory attempt here.

The New Sins purports to be a collection of what the “new” sins are.  It’s also written as if it were an ancient text that was recently uncovered and translated into English (although obviously, the word choices are laughably not ancient (web design, for instance).  Basically, what you get is a list of behaviors that until recently were not sins but which are now.  The odd thing about the book is that the sins are not an obvious parody of virtues or anything like that.  He doesn’t just say that kindness is a sin, he adds that ambition is a sin as well.  So it’s not even simple inversion.

As such, it comes off as parts criticism, humor, and misanthropy.  I’m not sure how effective it is at any of them.  There are a few dry funny things, but the interesting thing is that the book is designed as a pocket Bible.  Its cover looks like one, and inside it has red words and lots and lots of pictures (that I believe Byrne took, and Dave Eggers had a hand with).  That led me to think it would be a direct Bible joke.  But it isn’t.  It’s a peculiar work, to be sure.

It’s also bilingual.  That’s right, flip it over and read it the other way and it is all in Spanish.  (I did a very loose translation of a few pages and it is a legitimate translation, not a funny or silly one or anything).  But the pictures that fill the book (and which “accompany” the text) are different in the English and Spanish sides.

And it’s really short too.  About 100 pages per side with a picture on every other page.

I’ve no idea who the target market for this was. I’ve resisted a lot of Byrne’s print work because it seemed like it would be just like this.  So, at least I confirmed my suspicion.

SOUNDTRACK: The Believer June/July 2007 Music Issue Compilation CD: Cue the Bugle Turbulent (2007).

The 2007 Believer disc smashes the mold of folkie songs that they have established with the previous discs in the series.  The theme for this disc is that there’s no theme, although the liner notes give this amusing story:

one decaffeinated copy editor (“the new guy”) made a suggestion: “The Believer CD should be composed of eight a.m. music/breakfast-substitute jams, like that commercial from a while back with the guy who gets out of bed over and over again while ELO plays over his morning routine. You should tell all of the bands to write/contribute songs worth listening to within three minutes of waking up.”

So, without a theme, they just asked artists for some great songs.  There’s one or two tracks written especially for the disc (Sufjan Stevens, Lightning Bolt).  There’s a couple B-sides.  There are some wildly noisy raucous songs: and three of them come from duos!  No Age offers a very noisy blast of feedback.  Magik Markers play a super-fast distortion-fueled rocker, and Lightning Bolt play 5 minutes of noise noise noise.  Oh, and there’s even a rap (Aesop Rock)!

Tracks 3-7 are just about the 5 best songs in a row on any compilation.  Oxford Collapse plays a catchy and wonderfully angular song with “Please Visit Your National Parks.”  It’s followed by a song from Sufjan Stevens that sounds NOTHING like Sufjan Stevens, it’s a noisy distorted guitar blast of indie punk.  I’m from Barcelona follows with a supremely catchy horn driven song that would be huge on any college campus.  Aesop Rock comes next with a fantastic song.  I’d heard a lot about Aesop Rock but had never heard him before, and he raps the kind of rap that I like: cerebral and bouncy.  This is followed by Reykjavik! with a crazy, noisy surf-guitar type of song.  It reminds me of some great college rock from the early 90s.

Of Montreal, a band I’ve been hearing about a lot but who I’ve never heard (and didn’t think sounded like this) plays a wonderfully catchy two minute love song that sounds ironic, but which likely isn’t.  The melody is straight out of the Moody Blues’ “Wildest Dreams,” and yet it is still fun and quirky.

There’s a couple instrumentals as well: The Clogs do a cool, mellow instrumental and Explosions in the Sky do one of their typically fantastic emotional tracks.  Also on the disc, The Blow contribute a delightfully witty song and Bill Fox, a singer I’d never heard of (but who has a great article about him in the magazine), really impressed me with his Bob Dylan meets Nico delivery.  The disc ends with an alternate version of a song by Grizzly Bear.

This is definitely my favorite Believer disc thus far.  See the full track listing here.

[READ: Throughout 2009] Schott’s Miscellany 2008

This year’s edition of Schott’s Miscellany is very much like last year’s edition (see that review here).  I mean, it is an almanac after all.  However, it is a wondrous testament to Schott that even though I read every word of the 2008 edition, I was able to read every word of the 2009 edition and not feel like I was duplicating myself very much.

Obviously the news, facts and events of 2008-09 are different from last year.  And since Schott’s writing style is breezy and fun with a hint of sarcasm and amusement thrown in, you don’t get just a list of facts, you get sentences with subtle commentary on the facts.  And it’s a fun way to re-live the past year.  Plus, the Sci, Tech, Net section discusses science stories that sounded really impressive and important which I can’t believe I didn’t hear about at the time.

Obviously, there are some duplications with last year.  The States & Presidents section provide the same basic information (statistics about states and deceased presidents haven’t changed).  But it is an almanac after all, so he can’t leave the stuff out!  Plus, with updated news and events, it casts a new light on these same stats.

But what I was delighted with was that so many of the sections that could have had duplications were not.  The Money section has different information about currencies.  The Form & Faith section had different statistics and categories.  So, while the categories are the same, the bits and pieces are different.

So, yes, check out the previous year’s post for the general information about the almanacs.

I am concerned, though, that there is no mention on Amazon of a 2010 edition!  His website lists the 2010 Almanac, but it appears to be only the UK edition (gasp!).

SOUNDTRACK: BLACK SABBATH-Vol. 4 (1972).

When I was younger I liked this Sabbath album a lot more than I do now.  There are some absolutely stellar tracks on here, but most of the songs are a rather peculiar for Black Sabbath.  It showcases ballad-y nature that Ozzy would have for some of his biggest hits twenty years later.

“Wheels of Confusion” opens the disc with a fascinating bluesy sounding guitar solo that turns into a straightforward rocker.  But, as it’s 8 minutes long, there’s a lot of twists and turns.  And it ends with a two and a half minutes of upbeat guitar soloing (with a tambourine keeping the beat!).

“Tomorrow’s Dream” opens with a rocking bendy guitar riff  but in the middle the chorus turns the song into a delicate ballad.  This is followed by “Changes” a full-on piano ballad (!).  It’s catchy, no doubt, and I loved it when I was younger, but I’m not entirely sure it passes the test of time.  This is followed by “FX” which is literally almost two minutes of echoing blips and bleeps, some of which go back and forth on the headphones.  It’s a very strange addition to any disc and is really the perfect example of “filler” unless by some chance this was majorly cutting edge at the time.

This is redeemed by “Supernaut” one of the all-time great Sabbath tunes.  It’s heavy, fast and features a great guitar riff.

“Snowblind” is a another fantastic song.  A great riff, and of course, it’s totally pro-cocaine!  How can you tell?  Well, because at the end of the first verse, you can hear a very unsubtle whisper of “cocaine.”  My, how the band has changed in just a couple of years.  This song also features a ballady mid-section.  It also features an awesome middle bit that rocks very hard (and can be summed as: don’t tell me what to do).  The drugs hadn’t deteriorated Sabbath’s songwriting yet, but give it a couple more records!

“Cornucopia” is one of the weird songs that you find on the second side of a Sabbath album.  It’s a got an awesome slow, doomy opening riff which then turns into a speedy rocker.

When I was kid I really liked “Laguna Sunrise” and I still do.  It’s a pretty acoustic guitar number (with keyboards or strings or something).  After “Changes” you’re not surprised by anything that Sabbath will throw at you, but this song is really shockingly delicate.

“St. Vitus Dance” is probably the most schizophrenic Sabbath song.  The opening guitar riff is so incredibly upbeat, happy and boppy; who knows what will come from it.  And then the verses turn dark and edgy with lyrics about a breakup.  And then the happy guitar bits come back!

The disc ends with “Under the Sun/Everyday Comes and Goes.”  It is once again another wonderfully sludgy guitar riff that turns into a fast rocker (“I don’t want no Jesus freak to tell me what it’s all about!”).  After the verses, you get this wonderfully weird guitar solo that’s like an ascending scale on acid.  Fun!  About three minutes in, it turns into “Everyday…” an uptempo rocker that’s not out of place with the other half of the song, but which does seem like an odd placement.

This disc was strangely experimental for Sabbath.  And, while it’s nice to see them not getting stuck, some of their choices were certainly weird.  And yet all Sabbath fans seem to regard this disc pretty highly (I think it’s the iconic cover that we all remember so fondly).

[READ: December 10, 2009] Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett knows football (soccer)??!!  In all the years of Discworld books, I don’ think there has been any mention of football (or even any sport).  Who knew he had a 400 page book about football in him?

Oh, and what is wrong with US book publishers?  Look at the utterly lame US cover at the top here.  First of all, the book is about soccer…why are they reaching for the ball with their hands??  Second, look here at this awesome UK cover by Paul Kidby (the official illustrator of Discworld).  Does he not have publishing rights in the US?

American readers, check out this cover.  It is awesome!  It gives you the whole cast, it gives a wonderful graphic of just what you’d be up against when you play this team.  Look, there’s the Librarian!  And, of course, the drawing is great.  Well, at least we have the internet.

But back to the football.  As with any Pratchett book it’s not just about football.  There is a whole bunch of stereotype-busting, inner-strength growing, pop-culture raspberrying, and general hilarity as well.  Oh, and Rincewind is back!  Hooray!

This book also breaks from a recent Pratchett tradition of chapters.  (No chapters are provided.  Of course, this means it’s hard to find a good stopping point, but I guess that’s okay).

And so, the main character here is a goblin named Nutt.  He is a candle dribbler at Unseen University (and he is very good at making the candles look especially old and well-dribbled (which reminds me of Slartibarfast who really enjoyed making fjords because of all the little crinkly bits)).  Nutt works with Trev.  Trev Likley is the son of John Likley, the most famous “football” player in Ankh-Morpork history.

Football here is mostly just pushing and fighting in the streets.  There are goal posts and there is a ball (it’s made of wood), but goals, when they are scored, are sort of beside the point.  People get hurt.  And that’s most of the fun.  In fact, Trev’s dad was killed in the line of duty, while playing football.  He had scored the most goals ever in a game and was immediately punished for it by the other team.

Trev and Nutt work in the subbasement of Unseen University.  Upstairs from them are two women who work in the Night Kitchen.  Glenda, the head of the kitchen is a steadfast, strong, take-no-shit chef who makes AMAZING pies and suffers no fools.  Except for perhaps Juliet, the beautiful, no, really beautiful, like staggeringly beautiful young woman who works for Glenda.  She’s really beautiful, but she doesn’t have a lot upstairs (meaning that Glenda has to give detailed instructions for making tea) but she’s really beautiful.

Every man is in lust with her and consequently no man can speak to her.  So Juliet is often alone.  When Trev actually talks to her, well, she’s willing to listen.  Glenda, mother-hen that she is, greatly opposes this union because, well, Trev is a chancer, a questionable character and Juliet is naive.

The more you start trying to talk about a Discworld book, the more subplots scream out, “Talk about me too!”  So, without trying to ignore anyone, let’s see:

Juliet is chosen by a Dwarfish designer to model (wearing a beard, of course) their new line of micromail (which doesn’t chafe!)   Pratchett must have been watching a lot of Project Runway, as he has a lot of fun with the behind-the-scenes of a fashion show.  (Drinking, partying till all hours  & all kinds of questionable behaviors).  And he introduces a wonderfully enigmatic character named Pepe a dwarfish? woman? who drinks a lot (!) but he? may not be a woman? although she? is very good with a sharp knife in a dark alley.

A new race also comes into Ankh-Morpork.  Orcs!  And we all know that orcs rip peoples heads off.

The Shove is also introduced.  The Shove is basically the will of the street. The invisible hammer that hits you on the head and says you ain’t supposed to do that.  It takes a strong person to resist the Shove, and really this whole story is about resisting the Shove. The Glenda scenes are particularly wonderful in this regard.

Lord Vetinari, who disapproves of football (even though he knows an awful lot about it), decides to make it a more proper sport by adding rules to it and, you know, putting it in a stadium, rather than on the streets. The Shove resists this change and sets out to see that it fails. Rules be damned.

We also see Vetinari’s “relationship” with her Ladyship, the Uberwaldian Lady who was in charge of Nutt before he was dispatched to Ankh-Morpork.

We also learn that Nutt, the goblin, has a secret past that even he is not aware of (although he is surrounded by phantom birds squawking awk! at him quite a lot.  When his secret is revealed it changes the way everyone looks a him (actually, it really changes the way he looks at himself, because as we all know by now, Ankh Morpork for all of its uncivilities is the most racially tolerant city ever (the police force has vampires, werewolves and trolls on it for crying out loud, why should a goblin have to hide himself?)).

And so, we get a romance subplot (or two…with some wonderfully literal metaphors from Nutt and a minor Cyrano reference).  We get some cool thuggery in the streets (and another new character, Andy, who never met a fight he didn’t want to start).  And, of course we get a heaping helping of the wizards!

The Unseen University’s wizards pop up from time to time in the Discworld books, so it’s fun to get to see inside the building from time to time.  We also get to see Mustrum Ridcully interact with the “treasonous” Dean who left UU for the up and coming Brazeneck College (where he is now Archchancellor, gasp!)  There’s some great comments about magic (and how doing magic to save the day usually means trying to use magic to save every day after that, too).  And, there’s some wonderful jabs at academic life too.

And of course, there is football. The whole reason for football coming into the University is that a bylaw states that they must field a football team every thirty years or so or they will lose a huge endowment.  So, the wizards, who are far more interested in eating than moving, must now try and kick a ball around.

Pratchett really gets to the heart of a football match.  He’s got the excitement down (when the writer from the Times tries to transcribe a match in progress).  You’ve got the hooligans, you’ve got the first Wave, and you’ve got wonderful offsides jokes.  I don’t know what it is about British comedies but they love to make fun of the offsides rule.  (Red Dwarf (my go-to comedy for having a funny joke about almost any topic) has this funny one from the one female cast member: “I mean I’ve tried to fit in I’ve really tried. I even learnt what offside meant”).

Regardless of your appreciation for football or even sports, this is a great Discworld addition.  It’s really got everything (even a cameo by Sam Vimes).  I think this book is longer than recent entries, as well (of course I’m too lazy to confirm that), but it reads very fast.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Discworld series, this is a good place to start reading.  There are some 40 books in the series so starting at the beginning would take you a long time to get here.  Some of the books assume prior knowledge of the series.  But this one doesn’t really.  There may be a few things that you won’t get, but he does a good job of bringing you up to speed.

And really, who doesn’t love a good comic novel from time to time.  The humor is at times childish, but it also has delightful sophistication and wonderful awareness of high and low culture.  I enjoyed this exchange very much (it’s not an exact quote):

Glenda tells Juliet that she should try to speak more posh, that it would be better for her is she didn’t sound so lower class.

Juliet protests, saying that she doesn’t want to sound like–
“My fare, lady” says the trolley conductor.

It works better in the original, but the joke made me laugh out loud.  I’m delighted that Terry is still able to put out such quality work!

SOUNDTRACK: TORI AMOS-Abnormally Attracted to Sin (2009).

It’s been almost a decade since I was blown away by a Tori Amos album.  I feel like she has really been so engaged in the concept of her albums, that she has lost track of the tunes.  And while I don’t hate anything she’s done in the last few years, I was seriously getting to the point where I wasn’t sure it was worth getting her new releases.

But I was pleasantly surprised with Abnormally Attracted to Sin.  The opening track “Give” reaches back to some of the cool trip-hop stuff from from the choirgirl hotel.  And, the wild guitar work is such a welcome change.  It’s followed by “Welcome to England” which has a cool bass line that also makes me think of choirgirl era Tori (I saw her about three or four times on that tour).  “Strong Black Vine” is middle eastern tinged,  with a cool percussion-filled bridge.  But my favorite part is the dirty-sounding “baby” that opens the chorus.  The chorus also calls back to Boys for Pele era stuff where she used multiple backing vocals (from herself) in the choruses.

“Flavor” brings in some mellowness (and sounds like she was recorded in outer space).  “Not Dying Today” is definitely a silly song (and the one that mentions Neil) but the weirdo bassline is so catchy I am totally hooked by it (I’m also not sure if it says something about me or her that I thought the line was “Neil is thrilled he can say he’s Canadian” (when in fact he’s thrilled that he can say he’s mammalian (I’m not sure which is weirder)).  This also leads to a weird little spoken bit.  The whole thing feels very 80s to me.  But in a good way.

“Maybe California” is one of her piano songs.  When listening to it by itself, it’s quite enjoyable.  But I think it kind of slows the album down after those openers.  Tori has a lot of gorgeous piano ballads (“Northern Lad” still blows me away), and this one is good but not great.  “Curtain Call” is kind of a dud, but it has a great chorus.  And that’s what a lot of the rest of the album feels like for me.  Each song has one part that really hooks me, but it’s usually not a whole song that keeps me.

“Fire to Your Plain” is another bit of a dud.  The little keyboard hits don’t do this song any favors.  “Police Me” has cool guitars and weird sound effects and could have been a choirgirl B-side.  (Although, again, there’s a part after the chorus which is very cool).  And then comes “That Guy.”  I want to like this song so much.  The lyrics are fun, the sound is very torchy and music hall, but I just find it to be ultimately as nondescript as the title.

The title track has a great weird sci-fi keyboard sound, with cool guitars.  But this is yet another example of “Why does she pronounce words like this now?”  If you listen to her earlier records, she had a full command of the English language.  So, why does this song start out with her saying “Impeccable Pec-a-dell-o” (when we all know it is pecadillo).  And what on earth happened to the words in the chorus?  This is the title song.  Why does it sound like she’s singing “I’m marmalade. I trah yak toosee.”  Sure, once I realized it was the title track I could figure it out, but Jesus, woman, what happened to you? (That aside, the song is pretty cool, especially the quiet but bitchin guitars in the way back).  “500 Miles” is a cute song. I sort of don’t like it but the chorus is so frikkin catchy that I can’t turn it off.

The end of the disc feels kind of tacked on to me.   “Mary Jane” is a weird one.  It sounds like an extended version of “Mr Zebra” from Pele, (which I loved, but it was only a minute long), with all kinds of weird lyrics getting tossed around.  It does seem odd to hear her singing about pot, but whatever.  “Starling” sounds great but just never really catches me.  And “Fast Horse” starts out so great: the riff is very cool, but I don’t care for the direction of the chorus. (And the Maserati bit more or less kills the song off).  “Ophelia” has awesome potential of being one of those affecting piano songs, but rather than pulling out all the stops with a kick ass chorus, it just sort of wanders around (I wonder if I’d change my mind about this song if it weren’t so close to the end).  And the disc ends with “Lady in Blue.”  This is definitely one of the weirdest songs she’s ever done.  And I sort of love it.  The sounds she’s twisting out of her organ are insane.  It sounds like her speakers are at the bottom of a pool.  And the chord choices are unexpected.  She really stretches this weird sound for all its worth (including the most egregious of her pronunciations problems: “What es layuft is right.”  Really, Tori, emphasis is one thing, but it’s not cool to make the words wrong).  But anyhow, this undersea adventure stretches out for over 4 minutes, and I’m just about to throw the disc against the wall because it seems like it will never end, and I’m in some kind of trippy suffocating nightmare (in which you kind of like what’s happening at first and then you realize that the pillowcase they put over your head is really a plastic bag) but then she kicks in a solid piano riff and the song absolutely rocks out for the next three minutes.  It’s confident and infectious and ends the disc on a fantastic note.  If that early section were about 2 minutes shorter this would be one of my favorite Tori songs ever.  But I keep reaching that take-the-disc-out! moment before the greatness kicks in.)

My biggest problem with the disc is that (as with past discs) at 75 minutes  it’s just too damned long.  Again, I can’t pick a least favorite song because they all have parts that I really like, I would just like to put the cool parts together and get rid of twenty minutes of the blahs.

The other problem is that I really don’t know what Tori is singing about half the time.  When I first got into her, I was drawn by her lyrics, which were weird but also evocative.  I didn’t really know what she was singing about exactly back then, but I had a pretty good idea.  However, lately it’s just all weird abstractions and general concepts.

I know that I fell for Tori back when she was writing emotionally naked songs.  She was sexually honest and was a breath of fresh air in 1992.  And, sure I wish she would make albums like she did back then, but I know artists need to grow and expand.  And it would be frankly creepy to hear 2009 Tori, wife and mother, singing about guys who can’t make her come.  Right?  I mean, I found her “MILF” line on a recent album to be rather disturbing.  And, I also don’t think I want to hear about the highs and lows of motherhood and parenthood.  So, personal stories are out, I guess.  Alas.  I just hope she can get a little back down to earth (and not necessarily need to be so “wicked” all the time).

The final gripe relates back to what I said in the beginning.  This disc is littered with pictures of Tori in various costumes, evidently acting out scenes from her songs.  The bonus DVD is full of videos for each song.  But each video is basically just her in some outfit and wig wandering around in various places.  It’s a strangely egomaniacal video collection even for a musician.  But so yes, she clearly enjoys this role playing exercise that she’s been on since Strange Little Girls, but it seems like so much extra time is being spent on these “personas.”  I don’t care which personality wrote the sing, I just want it to be good.   And I just miss the old Tori.

I also don’t like to criticize people physically, but I feel like she also looks less pretty than she used to.  After watching 70some minutes of those videos of pretty much just her, I felt like she was too harsh or angular or, dare I say it, old looking.  And I only mention it because she seems so focused on presenting these characters with wigs and make up and the whole shebang, but I think she doesn’t look nearly as pretty as she when she was just Tori, piano player.

But that’s no way to end a music review.  Abnormally Attracted to Sin is certainly her best disc in a decade.  It’s got some great songs and some great sections of songs.  With a judicious editor and someone who can keep her on track when her words start drifting away from what they should properly sound like, (maybe it’s time to look for a producer other than her husband?) Tori could be well on her way to making another totally stellar album.

[READ: October 2009]  Comic Book Tattoo

Sarah gave me this book for Christmas and I’ve been reading it on and off for about 10 months now.  I finally finished the first read through and decided to give it a second go before writing about it.  It took so long not because I didn’t like it but because it is a very awkward book.  It is HUGE.  It is the size of a vinyl LP, but is as thick as about 15 of them.  And it’s heavy!  I had to store it under the bed so I wouldn’t kill myself on it.

What I’m getting at is utter value for money ($30 retail).

But what is it?  Okay, so it is a collection of comics that are “inspired” by Tori Amos songs.  But let’s be clear, these are NOT IN ANY WAY illustrations of the songs.  The stories that are created here have virtually nothing to do with the lyrics, in most cases.  They seem to be inspired by the titles and maybe (sometimes) the mood of the songs themselves.  In many cases, it’s hard to even see what the stories have to do with her at all.  And, I have to say, it makes the whole collection that much stronger.  Even if I love most of the songs that they draw in here, I wouldn’t want to “see” Tori’s songs.  Rather, taking them as a jumping off point lets the authors and artists use what inspired them and ignore the rest.

Normally when faced with a collection with multiple contributors, I like to make a point of listing all of the authors and saying a thing or two about the stories.  There are three reasons why I’m not doing that here:  One) there are 51 stories.  Two) Most stories have at least two, sometimes four contributors.  I’d be here for a week typing all that out.  And Three) they don’t even have a table of contents, so it’s just all the more work for me.

To see all the contributors and details, check out the Wikipedia page.

I admit that I knew almost no one in the collection.  I knew the awesome Hope Larson.  And Sarah knows Sara Ryan personally, but I ‘m not sure she was aware that Sara was in the book.  The biographies at the end of the book told me that I knew a number of these people’s work from other sources, but I never caught on to their names before.

But what about the stories?  Well, I don’t love all of them, but that’s to be expected.  But I would say that I enjoyed about 95% of the work.  What is so compelling for me about this book is that the styles of art (never mind the actual stories themselves) are so varied.  There’s some gorgeous monotones, then there’s vibrant colors.  There’s uncannily realistic pictures and then almost caricatured silly drawings.  There’s gritty realism and loopy fantasy.  And, depending on my mood, I can just pick and choose the one I want.

The stories are also across the board.  Tori herself has something of a singular vision (not literally, but it’s not like she’s writing bragging gangsta rap or cock-rock items).  But these authors have taken her ideas and run in so many different directions.  There’s funny stories.  There’s a lot of sad stories.  Although there seems to retain a ray of hope throughout the book.  And there’s absurd fantasy.  And one or two simple introspective items (these are beautifully illustrated).

What I’m getting at is that if you don’t like Tori Amos, or have never even heard her, that’s no reason to pass this collection by.  Aside from a final word from the woman herself, you could easily read these stories and not know they had anything to do with her.

That’s not always the case, of course.  Some stories quote from her lyrics (a few do it in clever ways, like having a song on the radio).  Many of the artists have characters that look somewhat like Tori (red hair).  And there’s one or two stories that mention her directly.  But overall, aside from the titles (and the fact that the lyrics are printed at the beginning of each story), you could easily forget that this had anything to do with Tori Amos.

Of course, if you’re a fan of her, you can pick up a lot of cool insider/subtle things that reference Tori, so that’s a lot of fun.  Although, having said that, it’s a little weird to see some of your favorite songs interpreted in ways that are utterly unlike anything you would have associated with them!

The artists chose songs from all over her oeuvre as well.  They cover everything from Little Earthquakes to American Girl Posse (there’s even a song from Y Kant Tori Read).  And, many of the songs are even B-sides, which I suppose means that the authors/artists are pretty big fans.

What could have turned into a weird Tori Amos love fest is, in fact, a cool showcase of various artists and a cool nod to the inspiration that Tori has given so many.  It would obviously be preferable to know a few of the artists/authors if you were thinking about picking this up.  But even if you don’t, if you just really like comics as a medium, this is a great collection.

The back cover of the book says this is Vol. 1.  We’ll see if there will really be a Vol. 2.

Oh, and even though it would have been super cool to have Neil Gaiman in here, I think it makes absolute sense that he was left out.  Neil and Tori’s relationship is so symbiotic at this point that it would almost seem too weird to have him contribute to this project.

I found out about The Walrus while watching an interview with Noah Richler on Book Television (back when I had Canadian satellite).  During the interview, they mentioned that the first issue of this cool new magazine, The Walrus, had just come out.  I was very intrigued; amazingly, the local Barnes & Noble had a copy!  I was delighted.  And since then The Walrus has become one of my favorite magazines.

In fact, in comparison to similar magazines (Harper’s, maybe The New Yorker) it is the only magazine that I read cover to cover.  I’m not sure why I insist on this (it’s probably got to do with it being an import from Canada, but really it’s just so well written that I enjoy everything), but I never regret reading every piece.

The magazine has recently had a face lift, a new cover design and, what seems to me to be a little more white space…it feels like each issue is a little less text-heavy.  Which is obviously a little disappointing, and yet when you have a lack of free time, as I do, it makes it a bit easier.

They also seem to have consistently good fiction  now.  I honestly don’t remember if all the past issues had fiction in them, but they do now, and the work is very good.

So what does the magazine offer?  Well, obviously (I guess) it focuses a lot on Canadian issues.  But, it also offers a world perspective that I find refreshing.

We open with the ubiquitous Letters page.  And The Walrus is not afraid to print criticisms (and, if possible, replies from the original author).   The Editor’s Note then offers a summary of what’s in the issue, as well as some background on the stories that isn’t evident from the piece…(it shows the actual work of an editor!)

The early sections offer short articles from all over the world (it’s now called Miscellany).  I miss some of the features of the older version of this section: they used to include a calendar of events that would occur in this month or an upcoming month in the land where the short article was set.  They also had bits and pieces in the margins regarding those issues.  In the new version, the story settings are still global (which is nice).  And in a similar vein to the old format, they now have a pull-out box with an update on the story, or an old story that ties to the full story.

A few examples of the short articles: “Before texting made child’s play of surreptitious classroom chatter, students passed notes;” “Filipino women enlist in Canada’s live-in caregiver program so their children will have better lives, but it doesn’t always work out that way” (this includes a boxed sample from thenannyreview.com) and “A Tiger-Cat childhood” (for those not from Ontario, that’s the Hamilton football team.

And then we get the main articles.  In the past two issues there has been an article about reimagining Canadian history, and in this month’s a devastating article about the inevitable destruction of the Great Barrier Reef.

The next section usually has slightly smaller articles.  In the last two issues, one focuses on Religion, (socially progressive Sikh youths) and another is a history of a fight for Unions.  There’s another article (3 or 4 pages) that concerns Media (Al Jazeera English in North America) or about the Arts (a cool look at Alice Munro’s hometown…which I’m going to post about shortly).

There then follows was it usually a personal story or memoir (a funny story by boomer about getting a hip replacement–with a shocking description of the proceedings!).

Then there’s the fiction.  Generally, they are Canadian authors, and they are frequently authors I’ve never heard of.  I’ve reviewed a number of the stories here, and even if I don’t like the pieces, it’s fun to read new authors.  They also feature poetry in each issue.

Towards the back of the issue you get reviews.  But these aren’t reviews of books or TV shows per se.  They are general reviews of Television (discussing Canadian-made TV shows) or Architecture (I’m only mildly interested in architecture, and this was architecture in Vancouver, and yet the article was utterly compelling).  Sometimes there’s Books (How to read a Masterpiece) or even Radio (a look at the makeover of CBC Radio2, (evidently rapper Buck 65 is the new voice of CBC Radio2) which I’d love to check out…must go online I guess).

The issues now end with a comic strip.  This is new as of a few issues ago.  It’s a full page comic strip, which sadly, seems to rely on you knowing more about Canadian figures than I do.  The September one makes an interesting joke about Halloween costumes, but I can’t decide if the person in the last panel is someone I should know, which would make the joke even funnier.  Although the October issue features a joke about Prince Charles, so that’s easy for all.

I’ve learned an awful lot about Canadian politics with this magazine (they seem to talk about Prime Minister Harper).  But I was astonished to read the fascinating article about (yes, I am really going to write this) the Bank of Canada’s Governor, Mark Carney.  It talks about how Canada was able to weather the worldwide recession because of his smart (but boring) fiscal policies.  (Makes me want to put my money in TD Bank).

Even if you’re not fixated on Canadiana, The Walrus is an all around great publication.

[UPDATE: October 10, 2009]

I just finished reading the October issue, and it is really fantastic.  And, while it certain works from a Canadian perspective, the issues it discusses impact everyone.  There’s a hugely important article about Al Jazeera in English which made me check out Al Jazeera’s website, and I was really impressed.  If we had it in the States, I might even watch more news myself.  The article about unions, even though it is set in Windsor, Ontario. details the struggle for auto unions in light of the recent car manufacturing collapse.  And it obviously has an impact on American auto workers as well.  The phenomenal article about the destruction of the Great Barrier Reef is simultaneously depressing and yet leaves a lot of room for hope…if not for the Reef itself, then certainly for the planet’s future.  And finally, a very touching memoir about a woman trying to raise her grandson who was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, which could affect anyone, regardless of their location. It was very powerful.  Even the shorter articles were stellar.  This short piece about a Vatican astronomer was fascinating and enlightening.  And of course, I loved this piece about social networks for libraries.  I was also blown away by this piece about Marie-Claire Blais an author that I have never heard of, yet who sounds amazing and amazingly difficult.

So, find this issue.  You will be convinced about the awesomeness of this magazine.

Original mention in Periodicals Page:

The Walrus. This is a great magazine from Canada. It covers all kinds of issues, both Canadian and international. It has great fiction, and really interesting perspectives on things that affect us down here in the U.S. I highly recommend this magazine, and can’t say enough good things about it.

SOUNDTRACK: TV ON THE RADIO-Dear Science, (2008).

The problem with TV on the Radio for me is that their first EP is so damned good that anything else they do pales in comparison.  Having said that, Dear Science, comes really close to topping that EP.  I liked Cookie Mountain (their previous disc) but I felt like they put so many elements into the mix that it detracted from the best part of the band: Tunde Adepimbe & Kyp Malone’s vocals.

And so, on Dear Science, the vocals are back up front where they belong.  This disc is a lot less busy, which may seem a little like selling out, but instead, it just heightens the complexity and originality of the band’s work.  The disc rocks hard but it also heightens some really cool jazz and dance elements.    But it all comes back to the melodies and vocals for me.  And on Dear Science, they pretty much outdo themselves.

And you can dance to it!

[READ: September 30, 2009] Shiny Adidas Tracksuits and the Death of Camp and Other Essays

After reading David Foster Wallace’s essay in this book, I looked at the other articles here and decided to read the whole thing.  And I’m really glad I did.  It’s an interesting book full of, funny and often thought-provoking pop culture articles circa 1996.  As with some of the other pop culture/political books that I’ve read several years after they were relevant, it’s often weird to look back and see what things fully occupied the popular landscape at the time.  And, when a piece is completed dated, it’s pretty obvious, and sometimes unintentionally funny.  But there are many pieces here that are timeless (or at least hold up for a decade), and those are still really good reads.

This book also does a good job of summarizing the tenor of the defunct Might magazine.  A dose of irony, a splash of humor and a lot of criticism of what’s trendy.

The strange thing to me about this book, though is the targets that they chose to go after sometimes.  Rather than critiquing right-wing attitudes or corporate shenanigans (which they do touch on), they really seem to be after pop and rock celebrity.  For instance, there are two separate articles which take a potshot at Eddie Vedder (this was around the time of the Ticketmaster fiasco which didn’t put him in the best light but which could hardly be seen as only self-serving).  This seems rather unfair, unless his sincerity could really be called into question by a bunch of ironic jokesters.  Magazines like Radar and Spy used to do snarky articles like this. I’d always thought that Might was a little better than that.  But indeed, there’s one or two pieces here that have a holier- (or perhaps indier)-than-thou attitude.   Which may have been fine in the 90s but which seem petulant now.

But aside from those, the irony-free pieces are very enjoyable. 

PHILLIP G. CAMPBELL-”Phil Campbell? Phil Campbell.  Welcome to Phil Campbell”
This fascinating piece shows a convention organized by Phil Campbell to invite every Phil Campbell in America to Phil Campbell, Alabama (one of only three towns in the country with a person’s full name).  It’s hokey and awfully silly and yet it is such a neat idea that it becomes utterly fascinating watching these people interact.  The author states that 2 more Phil Campbell conventions had happened since the article was written, which leads me to wonder if there were any more after that. (Oh, Wikipedia says no).

MARC HERMAN-”Notes on the Growing Tiresomeness of Flight”
This piece is actually about drivewaway car companies who loan you a car for free if you’re willing to drive it to where it is needed.  It’s a sunny piece about skirting the rules.  Evidently, these companies are still around.  I wish I had known about them years ago.

DAVID FOSTER WALLACE-”Hail the Returning Dragon, Clothed in New Fire”
Dragon slaying as a metaphor for AIDS (full review here).

TED RALL-”College is for Suckers”
Ted Rall is one of my favorite cartoonists. He’s weird and funny and always makes a point.  I’m not all too familiar with his articles, though.  And this article was unabashedly depressing.  Basically, it states that the money you spend on college is hardly ever recouped and, circa 1996, a liberal arts degree earns you barely more than a high school diploma. I’m not going to investigate his data; I assume he’s not lying.  But I do wonder if things have changed 13 years later.

HEIDI POLLOCK-”The Sudden Unsavory Ubiquity if Faux Ceaser Salad”
This is a funny and, at first, ironic-seeming piece about Caesar salad being everywhere.  Then you realize that you can get it everywhere, even at McDonalds, except that the McCaesar doesn’t have ANY of the same ingredients.  It’s bad enough that no one use raw egg or anchovies (the real ingredients for a Caesar) but some places don’t even use romaine lettuce!  And that is just an empty embodiment of the real thing.

GLASGOW PHILLIPS-”Shiny Adidas Tracksuits and the Death of Camp”
This piece observes the Adidas tracksuit through pop culture from its invention in 1980 through to the Beastie Boys and Run DMC and then its resurgence in the early 90s.  Phillips uses this one article of clothing to observe the state of Camp in America.  It is an admittedly narrowly focused piece but it works quite well.  And it’s funny, too.

CHRIS HARRIS-”Design Intervention”
This is the most aggressively “ironic” piece and really stands out among the others as being overly silly.  The conceit is that graphic designers should redesign the map of the world because if the globe looked nicer, the people who lived there would feel better abut themselves.  Eh.

DONNELL ALEXANDER-”Cool Like Me (Are black people cooler than white people?)”
This was the cover story of the final issue of Might magazine.  And I seem to recall it causing quite a controversy.  Although apparently not enough to keep the magazine afloat.  The piece looks at the coolness that blacks have always had to bring to get through tough situations and how white people have embraced so much of it so quickly.  It’s a funny piece which seems silly at first, but real depth comes to the article by the end, showing a lot of unexpected points of view.

MARC HERMAN-”Are You on the Bus or Off the Bus?”
This is a fascinating look at the, then current, 1996 Rock the Vote campaign.  With 13 years of hindsight it is even more interesting.  Especially trying to imagine what the people interviewed (like the couple at the very end) are doing now (since they’re no longer 20somethings but are closer to 40).  When Rock the Vote first started I never really thought critically about it.  It just seemed like a good idea to get young people to vote.  And yet, seeing the details that Herman points out, you really have to wonder what the point of the whole exercise was.  They basically just want people to sign up to vote but they don’t educate them about the issues, or even why they should vote in the first place.  The one point that Herman never raises, and it is even more cynical than the arguments he does, it that this may have all just been a way for MTV to either appear more involved or important in world events or, more likely, a way to get their logo branded on the elections.  Still, 13 years later I wonder what they’re all up to.  And if they vote.  And if Rock the Vote is still around.  Huh, I guess it is.

MATTHEW GRIMM-”The Zen Rub of Alcohol”
This is easily my least favorite piece in here.  Whether it was ironic or not I can’t tell (which means the irony didn’t work if it was).  The general tenor of the piece sounds like a drunken tool rambling about something that bugs him (and given that the piece is about the glories of getting drunk, I’m not surprised).  The author is pissed because evidently new ads for Haagen Dazs seem to position it as a, god forbid, alternative to booze.  But the author points out that ice cream is no substitute for getting blitzed with your friends.   He (the author) seems like a real jerk.

KEN KURSON-”Jews in Rock”
This is is a funny piece in which the author tries to locate all of the Jews in rock (after spending a childhood obsessing over the Jews in baseball).  I don’t know if this was less obvious in 1995, but it doesn’t seem like Jews are that hard to find in the music biz.  The whole piece is funny but seems way out of touch with musical reality.

PAULA KAMEN-”Paradigm for Sale”
The whole premise–that it pays more to be a libertarian/right wing writer than a left wing/liberal writer–is, of course, maddening but also utterly true.  Sigh.

TRIPP HARTIGAN-”Green Bay”
This strangely affecting look at Green Bay was quite an enjoyable piece.  Basically, the author returns to Green Bay after many years away to find out why anyone would stay there as an adult.  He and two college friends (who still live there) revisit old places and then go to other (even older places) for the first time.  And, amazingly, they get a ton of food at an interesting restaurant for less than $5 each.  It also makes me think of That 70s Show. Oh, and someone mentions wanting to move to Missoula, Montana–which was featured so prominently in Maile Meloy’s new book.

JESS MOWRY-”Wake Up America! There Are Gangs Under Your Beds!”
A wholly ironic (or a least tongue in cheek) article about white kids being affected by black (and therefore gang) culture.  It would be funny if it weren’t so cynically right on.

DAVID EGGERS-”Never Fucked Anyone”
Eggers argues that “to fuck” as a verb implies a violence in the sex act which he has never experienced.  But then he can’t find a better alternative word.  I find this piece to be pretty right on the money.

DIMITRI ERLICH-”Babylon by Bus”
This is a frightening trip through El Salvador–replete with anti-U.S. rioting, poor hotels and almost every other cliche you can imagine.  I started off thinking “Oh, poor-white person travels to scary Central America” but by the end I was hooked and genuinely nervous for the author and his friends.

ZEV BOROW-”The Old Man and MTV”
This is the interview with Kurt Loder that I’d always wanted to see.  Why is he on MTV?  Does he “get” it?  Is he “joking.”  What’s his deal?  I can only wish I had read this back in 1997.

HEIDI POLLOCK-”This Thing About Men and Nail Polish”
This is the second piece by Pollock that addresses a minor piece of pop-culture.  This one is about well, men and nail polish.  She’s happy to see men doing it (did men really use nail polish enough in 1997 to warrant this piece?).  Mostly, though she’s happy to see that women’s accessories are actually cool.

PAUL TULLIS & ZEV BOROW-”Fare Thee Well, Gentle Friend: The Sad, Untimely, Perhaps Even Tragic Death of Adam Rich”
This seems to be the piece that Might is most known for: a fake obituary of Adam Rich (from Eight is Enough). I recollect that people honestly thought he had died after reading the piece.  However, if you read closely, the piece is clearly silly and way over the top.  And the “quotes” from authorities and people who knew him are clearly unlikely.  It’s a funny piece though (and I am quite sure that Rich was in on it).

GLASGOW PHILLIPS-”The T-shirt: More Problems of Signification in American Low Culture (Or, what am I saying?)”
A fascinating look at the history of printed T-shirts.

DAVID MOODIE-”Pardon Me, Mr. Senator…Will You Please Give Me My Goddamn Money?”
An article about “notch” recipients of Social Security.   An odd inclusion here especially since it is so very circa 1995 and no one had ever heard of it.

ERIC WESTERVELT-”The Glorious Climb of the Affluent Recreating Professional”
A funny look at people who recreate all the time: climbers, bikers, hikers, and how much it costs for them to do this new hobby.

BOB MARGOLIS & DAN KING-”The Way We Were: Outtakes from the Haldeman Diaries”
This is a patently silly piece of “left out” sections of Haldeman’s Diary.  It’s a  chance to be childish at a politician’s expense.  The Diaries were published in 1994 which explains why this article was written.

JASON ZENGERLE-”Is Michael Moore the Last, Best Hope for Popular Liberalism in America? (And more importantly, does he have a sense of humor?)”
Zengerle was at the same Michael Moore talk in Cambridge, Mass that I was at.  And he came away feeling the same way I did…more insulted than inspired.  And so, Zengerle tries to rack him down ala Roger & Me to interview him and find out what his deal is.  He uses the same tactics that Moore did, all in the hopes that Moore will appreciate the effort and the humor.  This article is also a valid criticism of Moore as a “leader” and how there is very little in the way if Inspiring Popular Liberal Voices out there.  (There’s also a comment about, now Senator, then comedian, Al Franken).

M. DOUGHTY-”Listener Appreciation: Soul Coughing Front Man M. Doughty Takes a Long Hard Look at His Fans”
M. Doughty writes a funny piece about the type of fans who are aware of his “Celebrity” status.  I am clearly the 4th kind: people “who think bands are too cool to talk to them.”

JESS MOWRY-”Any Further Questions, Mr. Mayor”
A mayor tells Mowry that his books were “good but depressing” and wonders if he’d like to help mayors across the nation with trying to help inner city youth with the problems of their lives.  Mowry’s response is well thought out and articulate but very cynical.  And it is unlikely that it elicited a response back.  He does offer many suggestions, none of which will ever be considered.  Although his argument for lowering the minimum work age is quite valid: how much better would it be for kids who want to earn a living to do so honestly through a real job, rather than through dealing drugs?

TED RALL-”Quit Your Job.  Work is a Sham”
Hot on the heels of his anti-college rant, Rall is back with an anti-work rant.  He makes several valid points about how work is bullshit and wasting 2/3 of your life doing something you hate is soul-sucking.  However, he ends the piece by describing how he quit his job because he was able to do freelance cartooning–something he always loved. So why doesn’t everyone do something similar?  As if we can all be freelance cartoonists or actually make money doing something that we all love.  Those of us with families say no, Ted Rall.  No.   On the other hand, his arguments for restructuring the way employment is handled (shorter work weeks and longer vacations) is a wonderful idea that, sadly, will never be enacted.

R.U. SIRIUS-”The Future of Indentured Servitude”
A look at President Clinton’s Sponsorship Program, which essentially allows poor people to become servants in rich folks’ homes.  I can’t find anything about this anywhere, so I don’t know what it is actually a critique of, aside from Clinton (or President Chameleon) in general.

MARC HERMAN-”Slow Boat to Grenada”
Herman hops a boat in the Caribbean to sail around the waters to Grenada.  An interesting look at life there and the hazards of professional Yachters.

MARTHA McPARLIN-”Ever Closer to the Flame: Ten Days on Tour with David Hasselhoff”
What could have been a snide look at the Hoff turns out to be a bemused (and quite funny) account of Hasselhoff’s mall tour.  Despite the preponderance of cheese associated with Hasselhoff, he remains good natured and a rather fun guy.  A very funny piece.

JIM STALLARD-”Falling Down: The Rise and Fall of Down Boye, America’s First Angsta Rapper”
A preposterous article about a “loser” MC.  The premise is funny, although it goes on a bit much.  It feels like an Onion article.   Again, I’m not sure if there was a “reason” why this article was written or if it was just funny.

DAVID EGGERS, DAVID MOODIE, PAUL TULLIS, ZEV BOROW, MATT NESS, JOE GAROFOLI, MARNY REQUA, NANCY MILLER, RACHEL LEHMAN-HAUPT-”Virtual Enlightenment”
This was the only piece in the book that made me mad.  The central premise is that gullible people are using the internet to find enlightenment with New New Age. Now, who knows what was actually happening back in 1995 and if this really was some crazy happening that was ripe for mocking.  But the tone of this piece is really quite nasty, especially coming from these guys.

I’ve never done any of the things they mock here, so I’m not defending it because it’s “my” thing.  But it’s so weird that they take a stance that “you ” people are gullible (that word pops up again and again).  As if they are so superior to the young people who are involved with these things.

The thing that is most surprising about the piece is that the authors come across as so incredibly conservative  and borderline Christian evangelical.  Or, if not quite that, then like the hall monitor kid who’s not invited to a party and then stands outside saying “You’re not having any fun.  You think you are, but you’re not.”

I agree that there’s a lot of questionable nature about New Age practices, ambient music and everything else they go on about here, but without actually giving suggestions for how else these gullible people can have fun, the article is just a big, ugly nag.  Even the tone of the introduction: “We have had the pleasure of observing…the Nw New Age phenomenon–its most ardent goals and ideals, its most embarrassing follies and mistakes.  We had fun.”  So superior!

The first thing they take on on online paganism.  And fair enough, the chat room that they quote is certainly pretty dumb, and yet where’s the harm in kids joining a chatroom and trying to communicate with people in a meaningful and unironic way.  These kids are looing for a spiritual moment with likeminded folks.  What’s the difference between this and a ouija board?  The authors even dismissively suggest that maybe it’s a way to find friends.  And so what?  What’s wrong with that?

The second example is of a New Age Post-Christian type of church.  And the authors mock the proceedings for all of its hooey, even though it’s not that dissimilar to Christian masses (in fact the proprietors are Christian).  And listen to the authors criticize the guest list: “two-time coma survivor, convicted felon and notorious speedball junkie Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead.”  Wow, sorry Mr Gingrich, I didn’t know you were invited to the rave.

The third one is admittedly the most ridiculous. It is a pagan celebration involving cauldrons and fire and as Fucking the Bad Spirits Away and all that.  And it more or less devolves into a pick-up scene at the end.  And the authors bemoan the fact that it cost the gullible participants $10 to get in!   I’m left wondering how many interesting spectacles (with the possibility of a hook up at the end) would cost the authors only $10.  Just go to a bar and you’re easily out $10 and you don’t get a show.  This way, people are with other people who like this scene (weird as it may be).  And again, so what, maybe they are actually enjoying themselves.

The next thing to mock is the 8 people who are paid $50 to sit with a marketer to discuss ambient music.  When some friends of mine and I were in Las Vegas, we were offered $50 for a 30 minute survey about TV shows.  I was never going to watch any of the shows they asked us about, but hell $50 for giving my opinion..I’m there!  So, when the smart-ass particpant #8 tries to shit all over the parade, what makes him (or her) think he’s so much better than the other seven people there?  They all got $50 bucks, so what if they were honest about it and so what if they like ambient music?  This section also had the most egregious “your music sucks, mine is great” attitude.  I admit that most ambient music is pure drivel.  Yet they choose to mock Future Sound of London, a band that has actually done some interesting things in the genre.  Nyah Nyah, your music sucks.

Finally, the last story concerns a Superrave.  Participants pay $25 to get in (How gullible!) and the $25 for a hit of ecstasy (illegal drugs, the authors would never do illegal drugs!).  And for this the participant get a spectacle that lasts over 5 hours (in the article they say, hey, there’s only 5 hours left until the afterparty).

I’ve never been to a rave, and I’ll never go to a rave.  I’ve never done ecstasy.  This isn’t my sceen.  And I can see showing legitimate concern for the participants with dehydration and potentially questionable drugs and scams etc.  But to call the people who go there gullible because they spent the money for this is crazy.  $50 fora party that lasts all night long and makes you happy?  (Rave partcipants talk about feeling happy for days and weeks after the rave…sure its artificial, but still, feeling happy’s not so bad).  Let’s compare this to the above Zen Alcohol article.  The guy there talks about drinking 8 beers and hanging with your buds.  Well, you’re pretty much out $50 right there.  And, I’d all but guarantee you aren’t feeling as happy as the kids at the rave.

So, the basic gist of this article is that old fashioned values: Christianity, alcohol and rock & roll are good.  Anything new and different is bad.  What a great attitude for a hip alternative magazine!  Especially since I feel fairly certain that a few years later one writer or another might embrace Wicca after Buffy the Vampire Slayer made it okay to do so.

Thankfully, it’s only this article that is so mean-spirited.  The rest of the book is much more fun.  And, even if it is horribly out of date, I still enjoyed reading it.

I’m not sure how I first learned about The Week. I think I received a trial issue in the mail. But after just one or two issues we were hooked.  The Week is a comprehensive newsweekly, although it offers virtually no original reporting.  It collates news stories and offers opinions from a variety of sources: newspapers, online magazines, political journals etc. And it provides opinions from across the political spectrum.

Each issue has the same set up (although they recently had an image makeover: a new cover design and some unexpected font changes in a few sections, which I suppose does lend to an easier read).

Each issue starts with The main stories… …and how they were covered. The first article is a look at whatever major story captivated the editorials that week.  (The growing gloom in Afghanistan).  And in a general sense of what you get for long articles (the long articles are about 3/4 of a page) You get WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT THE EDITORIALS SAID, and WHAT THE COLUMNISTS SAID.  The What Happened section is a paragraph or two summary of the story.  The editorials offer a one or two sentence summary from sources like USA Today, L.A. Times and The Financial Times, while The Columnists are from The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and Time.com, for example.

Across the bottom of these pages are a letter from the editor (which is usually right on target) and our personal favorite: It wasn’t all bad, where you get three stories of strange, good news to lighten a week’s worth of bloodshed.  (A bus driver returned a suitcase full of money, etc.)

These are followed by the Controversy of the week (investigating torture) which looks at different sides of the issue with summarizes of articles from The New York Times, The National Review Online, Salon.com etc.  The bottom of the page has a three column section that is also delightful fun:

Only in America which gives 2 absurd stories (a Missouri High School banned their marching band The Brass Evolutions from displaying their logo because it promoted evolution).  Good week for and bad week for give three stories each of amusing anecdotes: (Good week for one stop shopping after a Hummer dealership in St. Louis started selling firearms to boost sales).  And then Boring but important which, in 2 paragraphs summarizes a pretty important happening in the U.S.

The world at a glance covers three pages and looks at 5 or 6 stories from the US, and then 10-12 internationally; it gives a one to two paragraph summary of something important or shocking across the world.

Next comes People & Gossip, which is usually three stories culled from the likes of People or Esquire, even the New Yorker, and provides a brief look at a celebrity interview.  And the Gossip is a few paragraphs about other, usually more C-list, celebs and the scandals that they’re involved in.

The next section is interesting in that it is called simply Briefing.  It tackles a completely varied subject matter, from oil drilling to vampires.  And it looks at the causes and outcomes for the phenomenon.

From there we get The Best Columns US & International.  They summarize several columnists’ pieces of random topics that are important/interesting.  And so internationally you get stories from Turkey, Ireland, Britain etc.  And these stories are usually not internationally important so you’d normally miss them.  The section also has the It Must Be True I Read It In The Tabloids column which, if you listen to Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me on NPR, this seems to be their source for their more absurd stories.  Read the week and you’ll pass the radio show!  (Although I think technically the radio show comes out before the magazine does).

Finally you get Talking Points.  These are where you get a couple more issues that have people talking (Ted Kennedy’ legacy & Political Protests).  The sources once again span the political spectrum.  Although, as is always the case, I feel The Week relies a little too much on The National Review Online.  They seem to always use an opinion from that source.  And yet the rarely have anything comparable from the left.  The do quote TheNation.com from time to time, but the frothing level of zealotry from the NRO is shocking in comparison to the reasoned calm from the Nation.  In fact, I would almost thing that The National Review itself would be embarrassed by their online content.  I think of the National Review as a staid professional journal, but their online counterpoint seems to be so aggressively unreasonable that they come off sounding batshit crazy most of the time.  The were adamantly for anything Bush did and are adamantly opposed to anything Obama does, regardless of how it impacts anyone.  It’s rather unprofessional, honestly, and if their excerpts didn’t make them sound so loony, I’d be even more annoyed that they get so much press here.

This section also contains Wit & Wisdom which provides old quotes that were used in newspapers this week (Mark Twain is a perennial favorite here) as well as a Poll Watch and the Noted section which covers several little stories that are always fun to look at (Florida is losing population for the first time in a century; Americans swallow an average of 22 teaspoons of sugar every day).

Then comes the Best Political Cartoons of the week.  It’s like the midway point of information.

Next comes Health & Science.  Here we get half a dozen stories that cover all manner of health & science related issues. (Did Mozart die of strep throat? The truth about multitasking).  And the always interesting Health Scare of the Week.   The fact that they can include this section says just how wonderfully crazy news scares can be.  So this week it’s that infants should sleep in car seats.  Last time it was that you could get sick from being buried in the sand at the shore.  Good fun for the hypochondriac!

Finally we move to the Arts.

The Week offers excellent summary reviews of books (including the novel of the week).  It includes the best books as chosen by a random author.  There’s also an enjoyable Also in interest…which covers a topic and shows some recently released books about that topic (hidden talents and heightened senses).

The Arts also cover Art, Theater, Film and Music (they almost nixed the Music section in the makeover, but thankfully, kept it in).  I don’t really read the Art or Theater, but the Film reviews cover three new films and new DVD releases.  And the CDs cover three of the week’s releases, usually with a surprising amount of diversity in artists.  The Television section shows a week’s worth of good movies to watch as well as a half dozen or so interesting shows (they don’t really review any continuing shows, just specials).

The Leisure section covers Food & Drink (a recipe, a wine and a restaurant) and the Travel section chooses a destination to look at.  It also mentions last minute travels deals and a fascinating Hotel of the Week.  One of Sarah’s favorites is the Best Properties Section, where they show amazingly overpriced houses that are for sale.  Each issue focuses on some similar aspect of the houses (location or style or price range) and shows them off in all their beauty.  A house around the corner from us was featured there once which was quote exciting.)

The Consumer section offers a review of a new car (I have yet to ever see a reasonably priced car here, this week is an $84,000 BMW, sometimes it’s a $300,000 car!  And then the best… whatever item they highlight that week: sunglasses, toasters, whatever.  And then three columns of use to consumers: How to relieve athletic pain.  And excellent internet resources: (sites to find green jobs, or to keep you organized) Finally, And for those who have everything… a totally random, usually expensive, gadget.  Always fun to see what (and where) they find these things.

This segues nicely into Business.  Five main business stories including a spotlight on a business figure in the news.  There’s also several small one paragraph pieces of information from the week’s business (Nevada casinos have installed 7,000 penny slots–people are more likely to play them in a recession–and they make more money on them anyhow!).

The Business section also contains an investment and workplace area, as well as editorial columns about big issues.

Almost finally, there’s an Obituary or two of significant people who died.

And then The Last Word, a two page column that is a fascinating story excerpted from another source: a book, a New Yorker or Atlantic Monthly article or some such thing.  Most of the time I’ll read these, but not always.

The best addition to the magazine is now on the lat page (where the TV used to be).  They’ve added puzzles!  It’s a fairly easy crossword; however, it is dependent on you knowing the names of people in the news, which certainly increases the difficulty (as if I care what John Edwards’ mistress’ name is).  And, for good fun, they have the Week’s contest.  They pick a silly topic, and ask you to come up with an even sillier headline or some such thing about it. If you win, you get a year’s subscription.  Like with the New Yorker Cartoon Contest I have all but given up on this since my brilliant ideas never made it to even the runner up.

So that’s The Week.  It is really a great magazine.  Perfect for anyone who wants to keep up with what’s going on but doesn’t have time to read in depth articles or, more to the point, wants to get the information from various political sides. In an age of increasingly bipartisan information outlets, this is a breath of fresh air, allowing you to actually get different opinions before letting you decide what you think.

And the brief articles are perfect for when you’ve only got a few minutes to read about something.

I can’t say enough good things about this magazine (I just wish they’d lighten up on the National Review Online dependency).

Original mention in Periodicals Page:

The Week. I read this magazine cover to cover, pretty much. I do skip some sections, like Stage and some of the Business stuff, but for the most part, this is just the greatest magazine ever. It condenses all of the week’s news into summaries from the different publications. So, you get a lot of different opinions on the issues. You get most of the major dailies, and you even get some of the loony opinions from National Review Online. Great stuff!

SOUNDTRACK: SONIC YOUTH-SYR 7: J’accuse Ted Hughes/Agnès B Musique (2008).

The first side of the disc (for it was only released on vinyl) is a ballsy blast of music.  Ballsy because it was the opening track of their live set at the All Tomorrow’s Parties festival in 2000.  And who opens up their set at a festival that features bands like Super Furry Animals, Sigur Rós, and Stereolab (basically a who’s who in awesome Brit-rock) with this 22 minute shriek of noise?

The set was so derisively received that the cover of the NME (hilariously reproduced on the cover of the LP) stated “Goodbye 20th Century, Goodbye Talent.”

The noise is palpable: squeals and squalls and all manner of feedback.  Kim even gets a strange little spoken word section in the middle.  I would think fans might have enjoyed it for 5, maybe even 10 minutes, but by 23 it’s pretty numbing.  The rest of the set included instrumentals from the not yet released NYC Ghosts and Flowers.  It almost seems like the set was payback for the invitation.

The B-side is an 18 minute “soundtrack” of sorts.  Agnes B. is a French clothing designer and yet somehow the music feels like it could be for some scary kids’ movie.  It has a number of creepy elements to it.  I kept picturing people sneaking around a little cottage.

The liner notes are written in Arpitan, a steadily-declining-in-use language spoken mostly in Italy and Switzerland.

Not for the faint of heart (or the vinylphobic).

[READ: August 31, 2009] Four Letter Word

I read about this book in The Walrus and then I ordered it from Amazon.ca as it doesn’t seem to be available in the US.

The book is a collection of “love letters.”  What is so very interesting about the collection is the varied nature of the letters themselves.  It’s not just: “I love you XOXO” (of course).   There are letters to mothers, stepmothers, mountains, and the Earth itself.  There are letters of love, lust, anger and respect.

I was most attracted to the book by the great list of authors, some of whom I read religiously and many others whom I just really like (and of course a bunch who I’ve never heard of).

It’s hard to review a collection of short stories that is as varied as this, especially when the pieces are this short (as most of them are).  And, I guess technically, they aren’t even short stories.  They are just letters. I would never base my opinion of these authors from this work.  Although some of the authors that I know well definitely retain their signature style.  There were only one or two letters that I didn’t enjoy, but for the most part the entire collection is very good.  And if you like any of these authors, it’s worth checking out.

I’m going to list all of the authors, mention who the letter is to, and any other salient features (without trying to give anything away–several letters have a surprise in them)!

JONATHAN LETHEM
To: E(arth).
I thought (and cringed) that this was an environmental story (which it sort of is), but the twist at the end makes you want to re-read it (which is recommended).

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHE
To: Emeka.  From: Chioma.
A letter discussing the possibility of talking about getting married.

ADAM THORPE
To: Marilynne.  From: Colin Stock-Tremlett
This is bookended as a letter that was captured as proof of infidelity.

LIONEL SHRIVER
To: Seymour Kaminsky
From: Alisha Garrison
This is the first story in the collection that is sent by email.  It details the frustrations of slow response time on email (and the importance of details). This one was very funny.

DAVID BEZMOZGIS
To: Mika
From: Fanny
A letter sent during the Bolshevik revolution.

CHRIS BACHELDER
To: Whom It May Concern
From Paula Gates, Director of Love Education
A hilarious letter recommending a high school student to anyone who has use for a fantastic student of Love.

A.L. KENNEDY
To: (unknown)
A letter reminiscing.  I didn’t enjoy this one as much as the others.

JEFF PARKER
To: jnotice & others
From Wheelerdealer@yahoo.com
An email to exes revealing misunderstandings and future possibilities.  Twisted and good.

FRANCINE PROSE
To: Franz
From: Felice
Once true identities are revealed this story packs a real wallop.

GRAHAM ROUMIEU
To: Santa
From: Bigfoot
Roumieu’s biography suggests that he may obsessed with Bigfoot (he has something like 3 books about him).  I enjoyed this story and its fictional stars.  And the accompanying illustration.

GAUTAM MALKANI
To: Mom
From: Michael
This is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever read.  It is devastating.

MIRIAM TOEWS
To: Cadence Loewen
From: Miriam
A woman who met Cadence when she was born tells her about her hippie parents.  Touching and a little funny.

JAMES ROBERTSON
To: Scottish Mountains
A love letter about nature.

ETGAR KERET
To: You (on your birthday)
A sweet birthday wish.

MANDY SAYER
To: Miss Starling
A story from a student that unintentionally reveals a lot.  Sayer’s biography suggests that thinks are less than ideal in Australia.

JEANETTE WINTERSON
To: Dearest
A series of photographs reveal a couple’s history together.  Hearing the stories behind the pictures is pretty cool.

MICHAEL FABER
To: My Most Dear John
From: Svetlana (Sveta)
The excitement of a Russian bride to be.  I can’t decide if I should be reading menace or trouble into this story.

HISHAM MATAR
To: Beautiful Mona
From: Nori
A weird letter of love from a 12 year old’ at boarding school to his new stepmother.  The undercurrents are a bit creepy, unless this is a cultural thing I’m missing.

GEOFF DYER
To: Whom it May Concern
An apology (of sorts) to women he has wronged.  The details are quite enjoyable, especially the Andrea Dworkin section.

MATTHEW ZAPRUDER
To: X
A story of secrets.  I kind of lost my way with this story

CAROL-JOHN VALLGREEN
To: Mamma
A letter from a grown son which castigates and forgives a mother for making up stories about her life.  This piece was translated by a woman named Sarah Death, which cannot POSSIBLY be a real name.

JOSEPH BOYDEN
To: The New Orleans Times Picayune
From: Fred Solomon
A series of missing persons letters from Fred to his wife in the Wake of Hurricane Katrina.

NEIL GAIMAN
To: My darling,
In keeping with what Gaiman does so well, this story is utterly creepy.  And every time you think you figure out what is going on, he twists things ever so slightly.  It is amazingly suspenseful.

VALERIE MARTIN
To: My darling
From: Madeleine
This concerns an actress writing to the leading man in their upcoming play. Her husband is quite jealous, and has every right to be (but he’s also a horrible person, don’t get me wrong).

PETER BEHRENS
To: Margo, ma chere
From: Johnny      AND
To: Jean (Johnny)
From: Margo
This was one of the few stories that had a letter from both parties. The twist is that they are sent simultaneously so they overlap sort of.  The other thing is that the letters are sent during World War II.  Johnny is overseas and is clearly a bit traumatized at what he has seen.  Margo, thankfully, awaits his return.

URSULA K. LeGUIN
To: Aeneas the Trojan, King of Latium, visiting at the court of Lord Tarchon of Caere in Etriria
From:  Lavinia, Queen of Latium
A love letter that crosses time, distance and even dimensions, I suspect.  Amusing, indeed.  This is the first thing I’ve read by LeGuin (which in itself is shocking to me, as I keep meaning to read her work).

NICK LAIRD
To: Father
From: Ruth
An angry letter to a dead father.  Probably the darkest letter of the book.

SAM LIPSYTE
To: Miss Primatologist Lady in the Bushes Sometimes
From: Mike (Avi)
This is a love letter from a chimp to the Primatologist who cares for him.  This is one of many letters that comically points out that the composer technically shouldn’t be writing a letter at all.  This letter is followed up by a letter from another chimp, making the whole proceedings quite funny.

PANOS KARNEZIS
To: unknown
A surreal story about a fleeting love.  Literally.  The letter writer saw the object if his heart once, and then lost him or her.  The story seems to go in one direction and then once you think you have it figured out, it becomes something else.

JAN MORRIS
To: O fy nghariad, fy nghariad, carissima mia!
A fairly straightforward love letter, but it is sprinkled with Welsh!  (Which Google Translate will translate).

HARI KUNZRU
To: Aisha
This is one of the longest pieces in the book.  It is also the one most fraught with danger.  Strangers meet in Jordan, where love is forbidden.  And they try to get around all prying eyes.

ANONYMOUS
To: Fi and Tobe
From: Dot
A letter of loss and hopeful rekindling from a woman to two friends and almost lovers.  This was probably the most erotic story of the bunch (as befits an Anonymous author).

MARGARET ATWOOD
To: anyone, really
From: Some people call her Anon
There is definitely some thematic arrangement for stories in the book, as this is another “anonymous” piece.  The author is something of a Muse, and yet she seems to have physical form as well. The story isn’t confusing at all, it’s just hard to pin down who the narrator is.  It is very funny regardless.

DAMON GALGUT
To: My dear Wouter
From: Neville
For those unfamiliar with German names, Wouter is a man (that would have helped to make the opening part more clear).  This is the first overtly gay story, and it deals with everything you might expect.  It’s particularly funny as Neville has been drinking.

AUDREY NIFFENEGGER
To: Sylvie
From: Nan
The second overtly gay story and the second one about Hurricane Katrina.  This one was far more moving than the first probably because of the details included.

JULI ZEH
To: unstated
A story in eight parts.  This one feels the least like a letter.  It is written to the person who she never met, and details the life they would have had.

LEONARD COHEN
This contains a drawing by Cohen as well.  A letter presuming the departure of a lover.

PHIL LaMARCHE
To: Baby
From: Gerald
A twisted story that gets more and more twisted as it goes along.  Restraining orders are involved.  Dark, dark humor.

M. G. VASSANJI
To: My friend
From: Tova
A letter to the anonymous boy she picked up in Dar es Salaam.

TESSA BROWN
To: Dearest Randolph
This hilariously written letter made me laugh the first time I read it (in Harper’s in 2005) and even more so this time.  It is set up as a critical analysis of recent correspondence (with footnotes and everything).  It begins amusingly enough and then gets darker and darker.  Very funny.

DOUGLAS COUPLAND
To: unstated (technically not a letter)
Even though Douglas Coupland is very funny, his work is laden with melancholy.  This brief tale of lost love is quite moving and a fitting end to the book.  It was originally published in The Walrus (as were a number of these pieces, but none are still available) under the title “Diamonds and Soot” and is available here.

Mental Floss has been one of my favorite magazines for about four years now.  It only comes out every two months, but it is just chock full of all kinds of weird information.  Sarah and I fight over who will read it first.   And then later we say, Oh, I read somewhere about X, and the other will say, yes, I saw it in Mental Floss too.

A bunch of friends and I used to do the Mental Floss Quiz of the Day which is good random trivia fun.  And I think that’s how I learned about the magazine.

So the magazine is designed to be read in easily digestible nuggets.  None of the articles are overlong.  Even the cover article, which tends to run for several pages, is broken down into bite-sized sections.  And each and every article makes you go, Huh or WOW.

The magazine even starts out great.  On their copyright page they list their errata which they call Mental Flaws.  And their corrections are just as funny as the rest of the magazine.  I think they had one issue with no Flaws and they were very excited about it.

Next comes the ubiquitous letters.  This also contains the occasional feature of Readers and Their Famous Friends, which shows pictures of readers celebrities (pretty much the only celebrities they ever talk about).  This is followed by the letter from the editor.  Neely Harris (I have yet to determine if Neely is a boy or a girl and I’m not going to look it up either, somehow it’s more fun trying to imagine) is very funny and always sets a good tone for the magazine.

The first section is Scatterbrained.  It features tiny paragraph-sized pieces of information that (tenuously) stick to a topic.  This month’s is gum, and we learn all about how Wrigley created gum (and how he successfully marketed it) and also that Chicza Organic Gum is fully biodegradable (it doesn’t contain plastics (!) like others do).  They also clear up the myth that it takes seven years to digest gum (nope, it just goes out with the trash).   So, the next section is called Big League Chew, even though it doesn’t really have anything to do with gum.  Rather, it is about food at baseball games.  The third one is The MacGyver Fact-Check (see, MacGyver uses gum a lot) and they fact checked 4 of MacGyver’s escapes from low to high plausibility.  How cool is that?

They have fun with the next section: the No Budget Diners Guide which gives recipes for such delicacies as Tree Bark, Bugs, Leather and Dirt.  Just in case the economy has really got you strapped.

A new feature is a worksheet where they have some quizzes that are well, silly,  Like: Fictional Characters’ Actual College: Where did Turk and JD from Scrubs go to school?

The next section of the magazine is RIGHT BRAIN.  For those of you who don’t know your left from your right, here’s a handy chart.  This section delves into a classic work of art, be it a book, a film, a painting or in this case a musician..(Louis Armstrongs’ work with The Hot Five).  Educational and fun!  (I finally learned why he was called Satchmo). The other one in this issue is Great Christian Art by Really Lousy Christians.  Who knew that Caravaggio murdered someone?  I also learned a lot about Rossetti’s Virgin Mary paintings which are very cool and which I’ve never seen before.  And of course, Salvador Dali.

The LEFT BRAIN section covers science.  In this case, 3 Mind Boggling Questions about the Nature of Life…Answered.  (Do we have alien DNA inside our body? Answer: Yes). The next story was so interesting I was thrilled to have read it.  The Navy is sending floating hospitals to various countries providing necessary and free health clinics.  I never knew that and I only wish that we would spend more of our military budget on it!

The cover story is usually a sampling of 5 or 10 (they love the number ten and every year have a “10 Issue”  (10 Vatican Secrets Exposed!; 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Somali Pirates!; 10 Technologies We Stole from the Animal Kingdom)) items of note.  This issue’s 5 Gutsiest Leaders is a fascinating (and amusing) look at 5 world leaders who we probably don’t think about enough (like Lula da Silva President of Brazil).

The last big section is called Spinning the Globe where they take a 50 cent tour (and throw in lots of unusual facts) about a different country.  This month is Panama, last time was Wales (learn the longest town name!)

And speaking of Quizzes, the end section always has a 25 question quiz full of utterly random nonsense (with your scoring being 0-10: Pretty Good; 11-15: The Best; 16-20: The Worst and 21-25: Also Pretty Good.)

Some regular features have been Know It All, in which A.J. Jacobs from Esquire samples some words from his book The Know It All (we’re up to X already!).  There has also been a Six Degrees of Separation by Ken Jennings.  And The Back Page features random things. This issue has Lightning Round Lists; others have Interviews with a Dead Guy.  Basically, just more tidbits to fill you up before the next issue.

It is such a great publication.  Perfect for anyone who likes trivia.  And, they have lots of other great things for sale too: games, books and fantastic T-shirts.  My favorite is at the right.

So, of all the periodicals I’ve mentioned, this is the one that I think everyone should get. Support the Smarts! (even the ads are for smart things).  And leave the magazine lying around when you have company…everyone will want to read it!

Original mention in Periodicals Page:

Mental Floss. Wow, what a great magazine! Its for smart people everywhere. Digestable articles about everything imaginable. Your IQ jumps three points with each issue. And, they have a quiz of the day as well.