SOUNDTRACK: KISS-Alive! (1975).

This was the first Kiss live album and was the album that broke Kiss worldwide.  I’m not entirely sure why a live album of songs that didn’t sell very well would do better than the original studio albums, but so it was.

And, yes, the live recording is pretty awesome.  It is clearly a collection of greatest hits off their first three records, and the band sounds on fire: the songs are heavier and faster and largely more consistent than some of the odder tracks on the original records.

There has been considerable controversy about whether the album was overdubbed.  Wikipedia lists a few different possibilities for what originally recorded sounds were kept for the disc.  It never occurred to me that the disc might be overdubbed (and honestly that doesn’t bother me all that much).  But since I had the pleasure of watching Kissology recently, and I could see the state of their vocals live, it would surprise me entirely if the vocals were not overdubbed.  Not because the band didn’t sound good live (they did), but because they were very sloppy with their vocals, consistently leaving off the ends of lines and things like that, and the disc sounds perfect.

Of course this is all nitpicking.  Alive! is a fantastic document because the live versions add a lot of punch to the originals.  But on top of that, you get fun extras like the drum solo and banter of the 12 minute “100,000 Years” as well as Paul’s drinking banter: “I know there’s a lot of you out there that like to drink…vodka and orange juice!” (How can you pass that up?).  It’s hard to pick highlights from such a good record, but “She” is a particular one with Ace’s wild guitar pyrotechnics.  Right on to the end, the disc is a rocking good time.

It’s also funny to hear that “Rock And Roll All Nite” is not the final encore; rather it is the next to last track with “Let Me Go Rock n Roll” being the BIG FINISH.  That’s the last time that THAT would happen!

[READ: December 28, 2009] The Elfish Gene

I happened to pass this book in the New section of my library and I loved the title.  I read the blurb, made a mental note of it, mentioned how much I liked the title to Sarah and then more or less forgot about it (although, actually, I still see it every day, as it’s always facing out, cover forward).

Imagine my surprise to see that Sarah got it for me for Christmas!

So, yes, this is the best parody-titled book that is not a parody or a make-a-buck joke book that modifies a popular title.  Rather, it is a memoir of a British guy who spent his teen years utterly absorbed in Dungeons & Dragons.  But I must disagree with the Christian Science Monitor’s review as “laugh out loud funny.”  I only laughed out loud once in the book (the dog walking scene is hilarious), but that’s because I don’t think it was meant to be funny (at least I hope it wasn’t).

I’ve said before that I’m not a big fan of memoirs in general.  I find them mostly to be a big “so what,” and often without the subtlety required for a good novel.  But the topic here was delicious enough for me to dive right in.  And I think that this book, which I absolutely enjoyed, sort of proves my theory.

Barrowcliffe has done nothing worthy of anyone caring about.  He’s just a guy who played D&D, so when checking out the book, you kind of feel, so what?  Plus, the book is completely unsubtle, with him summarizing his attitude over and over and over.  But nevertheless, I could not put it down. I was hooked from the opening and was totally intrigued all the way to the end.  (I even put down the book I had been reading to speed right through this).

And yet, Barrowcliffe himself is so unlikable.  And not, as he suggests, because of the D&D.

From the get go, Barrowcliffe basically says that his obsession with D&D made him a loser, and worse, an unlikable loser.  And so what we get is the author’s detailed love affair with fantasy which is perpetually undermined by him regretting that he spent so much of his life doing it.  But as you read the details of his obsession and the fun that he was having in chapter after chapter, this regret, this embarrassment, this humiliation is totally misplaced.  For it is not the D&D that makes him the way he is, it’s a combination of where he lived, the time he grew up, and his rather bad personality.

But let’s get back to basics.  Barrowcliffe grew up in the 70s in Coventry, England, which was pretty much the middle of nowhere.  And this was a time when there was no way to connect to other people aside from going up and talking to them (phone were prohibitively expensive, and obviously there was not internet).  The author was a nerdy kid who willingly accepted the nickname “Spaz” and actually told people to call him that well into his teenage years.

In school, he found a fantasy wargamers group and discovered that he really enjoyed it.   They would create alternate histories of battles and conflicts (I imagine it like an advanced Risk).  One of the main guys in the wargamers group told Mark about D&D.  None of them could afford it as it was an import from America (and cost like £7).  But the author had saved up a few pounds and mail ordered it (the small white box of original D&D which I have, although I ordered it much later).  And what happens when the set arrives is a nutshell version of Barrowcliffe’s life: the other kids are thrilled that he bought the game, but unfortunately since it’s his game, that means that he has to play with them.  He is loud, obnoxious and opinionated.  And unfortunately he doesn’t have that much original thought to keep up with anyone else.

Around the same time that Barrowcliffe was playing D&D, so was I. I’ve included the covers of the 5 first edition books that I own at the side here.  If yo click on them you can buy them too!  Sadly, my original copies are obviously worth nothing if you can buy them for $12, eh?

I started a few years after him and I am also about five years younger than him.  But I am well aware of the mania that D&D produces.  I created characters all the time.  I played with friends.  I joined a group at the library and I read a bunch of fantasy.  So I know what the author is talking about.  The big difference between us is that I didn’t get outrageously obsessed with the game.  The friends I had also liked playing the game, whereas Barrowcliffe made friends through D&D.

D&D attracts all manner of people, but without a doubt the most obsessive gamers tend to be obnoxious, opinionated, condescending and persnickety.  And that’s fine (the game encourages people to feel superior about themselves).  if you act this way while wargaming.  But once you start acting this way in real life, well that becomes a problem.  And if all your friends act that way and you have no other friends to temper them, you become that person yourself.  And this is what happened to him.

So, for Barrowcliffe to blame D&D for his lack of social life is just false.  Not to mention he got a girlfriend at a far younger age than I did, so his social life was better than mine.  It’s quite clear that he has a certain personality which was magnified by the people he played with. And that judgmental personality is still evidence as he writes this book.

He explains that when he was a kid his D&D friends got him into heavy metal (also true for me), but now, his adult self sets out dismissing heavy metal as a stupid genre, just as he dismissed non-metal when he was a teen.  I take personal offense at his mocking of Black Sabbath.  Because even though I like the band that his mature self is now into, I’m not going to dismiss the music that I loved as a kid.

Eventually, Barrowcliffe, grows up, goes to college, acts like a total jerk until he cops on that he’s being a jerk and then somehow gets married.  And yet even at the end of the book he’s still judgmental (against fatties).  His saving grace is that he realizes these errors and apologizes for them (as he retroactively apologizes for his bigoted views as a teen).

But I fear that he overcompensates by disparaging his entire life rather than just his bad behavior.  In fairness, he does include one line in the book where he says that D&D was not to blame for his behavior (phew), but that seems to be undermined by all of the preceding chapters which pretty much imply that it was all D&D’s fault.

What’s especially weird though is that he defends D&D against all the weirdos who were sure that it led to satanism and all that jazz.  It feels like he can’t decide if he’s bashing or enjoying his younger self.  And that conflict is a problem for a memoir.

The thing is that Brrowcliffe clearly is a creative person, and fantasy was  a perfect outlet for a creative kid in what seems like the wastelands of Coventry in the 70s.  The fact that he cultivated the role of an outsider is not surprising when you don’t like anything around you.  And I can’t help but think, with his personality, that if it were not for fantasy that he would have been doing far worse things than inventing characters.

Having gotten that gripe out of my system, I really loved the book.  I enjoyed reading about his obsessions, and about the characters he created, the games he played and even the unlikable people that he hung out with.  I would love to have heard more about Billy during the intervening years, and was sad to hear how he turned out).

Barrowcliffe became a professional writer of fiction and non-fiction (and a stand up comic? really?).  Although many of the example of his earlier writing he mocks as being over the top (which they were), no doubt the fantasy worlds he created were essential to his eventual career.

The strangest thing about this book which more or less trashes D&D is that the target audience has got to be D&D players.  I can’t imagine any non D&Der seeing that title and saying, ooh, just what I wanted to read!  Because yes, D&Ders are still the butt of jokes, except in Freaks & Geeks where even the cool guy gets into playing it with the geeks–hooray!).  And yes, even I find obsessive D&Ders to be offputting (but that’s more about obsessive personality types than what they are currently obsessed with).  So, to write this book and essentially mock D&D players (which he does) seems to be shooting your target audience in the foot.  Weird.

So, overall, I really enjoyed this book.  No, really, I did.  I honestly couldn’t put it down.  I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen to him next (and there are so many interesting friends and situations described).  And I loved remembering all of the books that came out and making sure to get the latest one (I’m surprised he never mentioned my personal favorite, The Fiend Folio).  I even enjoyed remembering the die rolling and seeing the cool campaigns that they go on.  I just flinched whenever he held D&D responsible for what was clearly his own personality defects.

So, if you like D&D be advised that you may be on the receiving end of some abuse.  But if you used to play D&D and have long since given it up, it’s an amusing book to reminisce about what you used to do (written by someone who was clearly more obsessed than you).  It’s also interesting to see it from a British perspective, where it wasn’t as readily available (even if all the best fantasy bands came from Britain.  Come on, Barrowcliffe, you’re going to mock Saxon?).

We all regret things that we did in our childhood, but to dismiss them and assume that they are the cause of our lameness is not a valid excuse. Of course, having said all that, I suppose a memoir about playing D&D with no regrets wouldn’t be quite as dramatic, so what do I know.

The book also made me go online and finally track down some Hawkwind (after learning about them from The Young Ones nearly 25 years ago: “Play some Hawkwind or Marillion!”).

SOUNDTRACK: KISS-Kiss (1974).

I’ve always loved the first Kiss record.  Everything about it is over the top, and I can’t imagine what people thought of it when it hit shelves back in 1974.

And yet, for such a preposterous looking record, the tracks are really great.  The music is a mixture of pop, Rolling Stones rock swagger, Beatles harmonies, and a sort of proto-heavy metal.

“Strutter” proves to be a great opening track with a great riff and fun vocals.  And it’s just one of thousands of Kiss songs about hot chicks that, because of its metaphorical/obscure lyrics is less offensive than it might have been.  “Nothin’ to Lose” is another lyrically inscrutable song that I’ve always assumed was very dirty: “Before I had a baby, I tried every way.  I thought about the back door.  Didn’t know what to say.”  And yet it is so outrageously poppy that no one minds singing along.  “Firehouse” is a wonderfully over the top song with great falsetto vocals and an awesome solo from Ace. “Cold Gin”  is another rocking classic with cool basswork and guitar solo notes over a standard rocking verse.  Side one ends with”Let Me Know” a pop song hiding under the guise of a heavy rock song.  The song is such a poppy bit of fluff (check out the soulful harmonies before the ending guitar solo kicks in), but it works wonders.

Side Two starts with a silly cover of “Kissin’ Time” that of course is appropriate for this band (and if they went for a more poppy sound overall, this would have been their anthem, no doubt).  “Deuce” follows, and it blasts forth with some heavy stuttering and slighty off-sounding guitars.  It also has the best opening lyric ever: “Get up and get your grandma out of here.” Which is later followed by one of the top ten Huh? choruses off all time, “You know your man is working hard, he’s worth a deuce.”  (Rampant speculation as to what a “deuce” was in 1974 can be found online).  I’ve always loved the ”Love Theme from Kiss” which is possibly the most hated pre-disco Kiss song that I can think of.  It’s a weird pseudo-middle-eastern instrumental that I’ve always thought was trippy and funny.  And then comes “100,000 Years,” another one of my favorite songs.  Again, the lyrics are just bizarre (and I’ve always mis-heard them until I looked them up just now: “How could you have waited so long, it must have been a bitch while I was gone” (I’d always thought the “it” was actually “you” which means the song isn’t as nasty as I ‘d always thought).  So, it’s sort of like The Odyssey, then.  But musically the song is just phenomenal: a great guitar riff over simple bass notes and a staggering guitar solo.

The disc ends with the outstanding “Black Diamond.”  There’s so much to love about this song.  It’s a gritty tale about life on the streets.  It opens with a pretty acoustic guitar ballad sung by Paul.  Then, after the awesome “Hit it!” the song kicks in powerfully.  Peter takes over vocals, and his rough voice works perfectly.  It’s only five minutes long, but it feels like a great epic track.  No the least of which is because the song ends with a cool concept: a single note, punctuated with drums, that is slowed down (from the original taped master), getting slower and slower making the notes sound heavier and heavier, slower and slower.  You can even hear the drum riff played at a by-now snail pace.  It’s very cool.

This is really a great album, and it’s somewhat overshadowed by their mid 70’s more famous music.  And if you like 70s rock but don’t think you like Kiss, this is one disc you can sneak into your collection.

[READ: December 20, 2009] The New Sins

I’m not entirely sure what to make of this.  I bought it from McSweeney’s in their attic sale for a couple of bucks.  David Byrne is Talking Heads David Byrne, so everything he makes is arty, avant garde and hard to fathom on a first listen/view.  But I’m unlikely to read this again, so he gets a cursory attempt here.

The New Sins purports to be a collection of what the “new” sins are.  It’s also written as if it were an ancient text that was recently uncovered and translated into English (although obviously, the word choices are laughably not ancient (web design, for instance).  Basically, what you get is a list of behaviors that until recently were not sins but which are now.  The odd thing about the book is that the sins are not an obvious parody of virtues or anything like that.  He doesn’t just say that kindness is a sin, he adds that ambition is a sin as well.  So it’s not even simple inversion.

As such, it comes off as parts criticism, humor, and misanthropy.  I’m not sure how effective it is at any of them.  There are a few dry funny things, but the interesting thing is that the book is designed as a pocket Bible.  Its cover looks like one, and inside it has red words and lots and lots of pictures (that I believe Byrne took, and Dave Eggers had a hand with).  That led me to think it would be a direct Bible joke.  But it isn’t.  It’s a peculiar work, to be sure.

It’s also bilingual.  That’s right, flip it over and read it the other way and it is all in Spanish.  (I did a very loose translation of a few pages and it is a legitimate translation, not a funny or silly one or anything).  But the pictures that fill the book (and which “accompany” the text) are different in the English and Spanish sides.

And it’s really short too.  About 100 pages per side with a picture on every other page.

I’ve no idea who the target market for this was. I’ve resisted a lot of Byrne’s print work because it seemed like it would be just like this.  So, at least I confirmed my suspicion.

SOUNDTRACK: SONG OF THE SILENT LAND (2004).

This is a compilation from Constellation Records.  It features mostly unreleased tracks and turns out to be a great sampler for both the fan of the label and the novice.

Since the label never had any “hits” per se, they couldn’t really release a “greatest hits” collection.  But they went the extra mile by selecting rare tracks rather than just a songs from their albums,.

It also belies the idea (put forth by me as well as many others) that Constellation had “a sound.”  While they have branched further afield since this collection was released, even prior to this you can see a lot of diversity.  From the epic instrumentals of Godspeed You Black Emperor, to the noise structures of Exhaust, to the sort of spoken word of 1-Speed Bike to the viola/bass duet of HangedUp.  This compilation contains one track from pretty much every artist on their roster from the (then) new artist Elizabeth Anka Vajagic to early bands Sofa.

The Do Make Say Think track, “Winter Hymn Winter Hymn Winter Hymn” is described as a condensation of the album of that name into 5 minutes, and I believe it is).  Many of the other artists’ tracks are remixed.  But the remixes aren’t dance remixes or dub versions, they are just remixed, usually by Efrim or one of the other Hotel2Tango individuals.

If you’re a fan of the label, hunt down this disc.  If you’re not familiar with the artists, this is a great place to start.  The bands’ tracks, even the remixes are representative of the bands.  So, you get a good sense of Exhaust, 1-Speed Bike, Fly Pan Am and HangedUp.  Although the real selling point is the live track by Godspeed You Black Emperor.  It’s not one of their “real” songs per se (as it is just an outro) but it’s a nice indicator of their live show (which was one of the best live shows I’ve seen).

[READ: December 18, 2009] Shoulder-a-Coffin Kuro

I’m not sure how this book ended up in my house.  I was looking at a pile of graphic novels and there was this one.  I hadn’t really noticed it before and Sarah didn’t know anything about it, so…who knows.  Anyhow, I decided to just go ahead and read it.  It turned out to be my very first manga (awwww).  And it took me a few pages to understand the style at all.

Manga primer: First off it’s written right to left (so at first I wasn’t even sure where to start the book, as this one starts without a real “start”).  Then I realized that the 4-panel style means you read all four columns down on the right and then all four columns down on the left.  And, just to complete the culture shock, you read the speech balloons on the right of the panel before the ones on the left.  After about twenty or so pages it grew easier, and by the end it wasn’t an issue anymore.  But wow!

Oh, and for a little more confusion, there are occasional full color pages thrown in, but they aren’t chapter breaks or any special pages, they just seem to be in color.

So, anyhow, on to the story.

Kuro (which means black in Japanese) is a young girl.  She is androgynous (and yet absolutely adorable).  She dresses all in black and caries a coffin on her back.  She travels around with a bat named Sen.  Sen is a wise-cracking scamp who brings much levity to the story.

Kuro is a traveler.  She is on a quest (but we don’t know what that is yet).  She encounters people all over the country, impacts their lives and then moves on.  Some think she is a vampire, others think she is a boy but most people are more than a little freaked out by her.

The book is done episodically, but there isn’t a lot of continuity between the episodes.  This is no big deal really, but it does get a little confusing (or maybe that’s just the trouble I had with the style).  About mid-way through the book, Kuro encounters two cat/children named Sanju (shortened version of 29) and Nikiju (ditto 30). They are some sort of manufactured creatures with tails but they speak and act like children.  She rescues them from captivity and they follow her on her quest.

The children try Kuro’s patience, as they are young children with no experiences and an impulsive nature.  And yet she feels responsible for these children, so she does watch them carefully (and Sen notes this is the first time he’s seen her smile).

As the story progresses, more and more details are given (as well as some cool secrets about what Kuro might actually be).  But it is all set up for volume 2.  And there’s a snippet of in the back of the book of volume two, so you can see it in the original Japanese, which is pretty cool too.

The artwork is great, of course.  Kiyduki makes his characters very expressive (and the close ups are gorgeous).  I also love the minimalist details, like Kuro wears glasses and they are often just represented by circles.

It’s a really good book, and I’m thrilled to have happened upon it.

SOUNDTRACK: BLACK SABBATH-Vol. 4 (1972).

When I was younger I liked this Sabbath album a lot more than I do now.  There are some absolutely stellar tracks on here, but most of the songs are a rather peculiar for Black Sabbath.  It showcases ballad-y nature that Ozzy would have for some of his biggest hits twenty years later.

“Wheels of Confusion” opens the disc with a fascinating bluesy sounding guitar solo that turns into a straightforward rocker.  But, as it’s 8 minutes long, there’s a lot of twists and turns.  And it ends with a two and a half minutes of upbeat guitar soloing (with a tambourine keeping the beat!).

“Tomorrow’s Dream” opens with a rocking bendy guitar riff  but in the middle the chorus turns the song into a delicate ballad.  This is followed by “Changes” a full-on piano ballad (!).  It’s catchy, no doubt, and I loved it when I was younger, but I’m not entirely sure it passes the test of time.  This is followed by “FX” which is literally almost two minutes of echoing blips and bleeps, some of which go back and forth on the headphones.  It’s a very strange addition to any disc and is really the perfect example of “filler” unless by some chance this was majorly cutting edge at the time.

This is redeemed by “Supernaut” one of the all-time great Sabbath tunes.  It’s heavy, fast and features a great guitar riff.

“Snowblind” is a another fantastic song.  A great riff, and of course, it’s totally pro-cocaine!  How can you tell?  Well, because at the end of the first verse, you can hear a very unsubtle whisper of “cocaine.”  My, how the band has changed in just a couple of years.  This song also features a ballady mid-section.  It also features an awesome middle bit that rocks very hard (and can be summed as: don’t tell me what to do).  The drugs hadn’t deteriorated Sabbath’s songwriting yet, but give it a couple more records!

“Cornucopia” is one of the weird songs that you find on the second side of a Sabbath album.  It’s a got an awesome slow, doomy opening riff which then turns into a speedy rocker.

When I was kid I really liked “Laguna Sunrise” and I still do.  It’s a pretty acoustic guitar number (with keyboards or strings or something).  After “Changes” you’re not surprised by anything that Sabbath will throw at you, but this song is really shockingly delicate.

“St. Vitus Dance” is probably the most schizophrenic Sabbath song.  The opening guitar riff is so incredibly upbeat, happy and boppy; who knows what will come from it.  And then the verses turn dark and edgy with lyrics about a breakup.  And then the happy guitar bits come back!

The disc ends with “Under the Sun/Everyday Comes and Goes.”  It is once again another wonderfully sludgy guitar riff that turns into a fast rocker (“I don’t want no Jesus freak to tell me what it’s all about!”).  After the verses, you get this wonderfully weird guitar solo that’s like an ascending scale on acid.  Fun!  About three minutes in, it turns into “Everyday…” an uptempo rocker that’s not out of place with the other half of the song, but which does seem like an odd placement.

This disc was strangely experimental for Sabbath.  And, while it’s nice to see them not getting stuck, some of their choices were certainly weird.  And yet all Sabbath fans seem to regard this disc pretty highly (I think it’s the iconic cover that we all remember so fondly).

[READ: December 10, 2009] Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett knows football (soccer)??!!  In all the years of Discworld books, I don’ think there has been any mention of football (or even any sport).  Who knew he had a 400 page book about football in him?

Oh, and what is wrong with US book publishers?  Look at the utterly lame US cover at the top here.  First of all, the book is about soccer…why are they reaching for the ball with their hands??  Second, look here at this awesome UK cover by Paul Kidby (the official illustrator of Discworld).  Does he not have publishing rights in the US?

American readers, check out this cover.  It is awesome!  It gives you the whole cast, it gives a wonderful graphic of just what you’d be up against when you play this team.  Look, there’s the Librarian!  And, of course, the drawing is great.  Well, at least we have the internet.

But back to the football.  As with any Pratchett book it’s not just about football.  There is a whole bunch of stereotype-busting, inner-strength growing, pop-culture raspberrying, and general hilarity as well.  Oh, and Rincewind is back!  Hooray!

This book also breaks from a recent Pratchett tradition of chapters.  (No chapters are provided.  Of course, this means it’s hard to find a good stopping point, but I guess that’s okay).

And so, the main character here is a goblin named Nutt.  He is a candle dribbler at Unseen University (and he is very good at making the candles look especially old and well-dribbled (which reminds me of Slartibarfast who really enjoyed making fjords because of all the little crinkly bits)).  Nutt works with Trev.  Trev Likley is the son of John Likley, the most famous “football” player in Ankh-Morpork history.

Football here is mostly just pushing and fighting in the streets.  There are goal posts and there is a ball (it’s made of wood), but goals, when they are scored, are sort of beside the point.  People get hurt.  And that’s most of the fun.  In fact, Trev’s dad was killed in the line of duty, while playing football.  He had scored the most goals ever in a game and was immediately punished for it by the other team.

Trev and Nutt work in the subbasement of Unseen University.  Upstairs from them are two women who work in the Night Kitchen.  Glenda, the head of the kitchen is a steadfast, strong, take-no-shit chef who makes AMAZING pies and suffers no fools.  Except for perhaps Juliet, the beautiful, no, really beautiful, like staggeringly beautiful young woman who works for Glenda.  She’s really beautiful, but she doesn’t have a lot upstairs (meaning that Glenda has to give detailed instructions for making tea) but she’s really beautiful.

Every man is in lust with her and consequently no man can speak to her.  So Juliet is often alone.  When Trev actually talks to her, well, she’s willing to listen.  Glenda, mother-hen that she is, greatly opposes this union because, well, Trev is a chancer, a questionable character and Juliet is naive.

The more you start trying to talk about a Discworld book, the more subplots scream out, “Talk about me too!”  So, without trying to ignore anyone, let’s see:

Juliet is chosen by a Dwarfish designer to model (wearing a beard, of course) their new line of micromail (which doesn’t chafe!)   Pratchett must have been watching a lot of Project Runway, as he has a lot of fun with the behind-the-scenes of a fashion show.  (Drinking, partying till all hours  & all kinds of questionable behaviors).  And he introduces a wonderfully enigmatic character named Pepe a dwarfish? woman? who drinks a lot (!) but he? may not be a woman? although she? is very good with a sharp knife in a dark alley.

A new race also comes into Ankh-Morpork.  Orcs!  And we all know that orcs rip peoples heads off.

The Shove is also introduced.  The Shove is basically the will of the street. The invisible hammer that hits you on the head and says you ain’t supposed to do that.  It takes a strong person to resist the Shove, and really this whole story is about resisting the Shove. The Glenda scenes are particularly wonderful in this regard.

Lord Vetinari, who disapproves of football (even though he knows an awful lot about it), decides to make it a more proper sport by adding rules to it and, you know, putting it in a stadium, rather than on the streets. The Shove resists this change and sets out to see that it fails. Rules be damned.

We also see Vetinari’s “relationship” with her Ladyship, the Uberwaldian Lady who was in charge of Nutt before he was dispatched to Ankh-Morpork.

We also learn that Nutt, the goblin, has a secret past that even he is not aware of (although he is surrounded by phantom birds squawking awk! at him quite a lot.  When his secret is revealed it changes the way everyone looks a him (actually, it really changes the way he looks at himself, because as we all know by now, Ankh Morpork for all of its uncivilities is the most racially tolerant city ever (the police force has vampires, werewolves and trolls on it for crying out loud, why should a goblin have to hide himself?)).

And so, we get a romance subplot (or two…with some wonderfully literal metaphors from Nutt and a minor Cyrano reference).  We get some cool thuggery in the streets (and another new character, Andy, who never met a fight he didn’t want to start).  And, of course we get a heaping helping of the wizards!

The Unseen University’s wizards pop up from time to time in the Discworld books, so it’s fun to get to see inside the building from time to time.  We also get to see Mustrum Ridcully interact with the “treasonous” Dean who left UU for the up and coming Brazeneck College (where he is now Archchancellor, gasp!)  There’s some great comments about magic (and how doing magic to save the day usually means trying to use magic to save every day after that, too).  And, there’s some wonderful jabs at academic life too.

And of course, there is football. The whole reason for football coming into the University is that a bylaw states that they must field a football team every thirty years or so or they will lose a huge endowment.  So, the wizards, who are far more interested in eating than moving, must now try and kick a ball around.

Pratchett really gets to the heart of a football match.  He’s got the excitement down (when the writer from the Times tries to transcribe a match in progress).  You’ve got the hooligans, you’ve got the first Wave, and you’ve got wonderful offsides jokes.  I don’t know what it is about British comedies but they love to make fun of the offsides rule.  (Red Dwarf (my go-to comedy for having a funny joke about almost any topic) has this funny one from the one female cast member: “I mean I’ve tried to fit in I’ve really tried. I even learnt what offside meant”).

Regardless of your appreciation for football or even sports, this is a great Discworld addition.  It’s really got everything (even a cameo by Sam Vimes).  I think this book is longer than recent entries, as well (of course I’m too lazy to confirm that), but it reads very fast.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Discworld series, this is a good place to start reading.  There are some 40 books in the series so starting at the beginning would take you a long time to get here.  Some of the books assume prior knowledge of the series.  But this one doesn’t really.  There may be a few things that you won’t get, but he does a good job of bringing you up to speed.

And really, who doesn’t love a good comic novel from time to time.  The humor is at times childish, but it also has delightful sophistication and wonderful awareness of high and low culture.  I enjoyed this exchange very much (it’s not an exact quote):

Glenda tells Juliet that she should try to speak more posh, that it would be better for her is she didn’t sound so lower class.

Juliet protests, saying that she doesn’t want to sound like–
“My fare, lady” says the trolley conductor.

It works better in the original, but the joke made me laugh out loud.  I’m delighted that Terry is still able to put out such quality work!

SOUNDTRACK: THE CARDIGANS-Best of (2008).

I’ve been a huge fan of the Cardigans since their first U.S. single “Carnival”.  I was living in Boston and I vividly remember the first time I heard it on the radio.  It was bubbly and treacly and then about halfway through it turned into something fantastic.

And that’s how I’ve felt about them ever since.  They obviously hit the big time with “Lovefool” and then became something of a one hit wonder band (in the US, although not in Europe).  Which is a shame because they’ve written some amazing songs.

I just learned about this Best of (not released in the US). It’s got 22 tracks on disc one including all of their international hits and a few surprises.  Disc Two features a ton of B-sides and other fun things.  I have a lot of these tracks from when I was a singles collector, but it’s a lot more fun to have them in one place.  And, I stopped collecting singles quite a few years ago, so it’s nice to have these newer B-side too.

But perhaps the most fun part of this collection is the liner notes.  You get a band’s eye view of all of the songs–where they recorded them, what worked and what didn’t and even what it’s like to have unexpected enormous success (for a short period of time).

I’ve seen the Cardigans live about three times.  Their live shows bring out a whole new layer that is not apparent on their discs (except for their Black Sabbath covers).  They can be a pretty heavy, rocking band.  On the last tour I saw, Nina came out in leather pants and they opened with a cover of “Iron Man.”  It was pretty intense.  Don’t judge by their adorable looks, they’re a solid band, and this is a great place to delve into more than the hit.

[READ: November 30, 2009] “Mermaid Fever”

This story has a fairly simple premise: a mermaid washes up dead on a beach.  The town where she was found claims her as their own.  They display her in a museum and everyone from miles around comes to see her.  Mermaid fever sweeps the town.

What was interesting about the story, beyond the supernatural premise, was the amount of detail Milhauser threw in.  Everyone is familiar with when some kind of fever sweeps a town, but with the mermaid, it took on far more unrealistic proportions.  Perfect for humor but also for the underlying message.  So, it was fun to see the way everyone started dressing like a mermaid: bathing suits that taper down like a tail. But it was also interesting to hear people complaining about how dehumanizing this new trend became.

And it was equally creepy to see how far people were willing to go to emulate the new figure: parties, tattoos, false sightings and even delusional swims in questionable waters.

It’s interesting when a story that you can pretty much tell what is going to happen before it happens is still a compelling read.  Beyond the basic mermaidiness of the story, it was a nice look into the behaviors of humanity.  And, even better, it was nice at the mermaid brought out these aspects of people without actually being alive (and asking about humanity like some kind of bad fish out of water movie).

SOUNDTRACK: THE FEELIES-Only Life (1988).

The Feelies were based out of Haledon, NJ, a town not more than fifteen minutes from my house.  I’ve always felt this weird association to them.  One day a coworker drove me past one of the band members’ houses when I worked in North Haledon (in retrospect this was probably bullshit).

It was this album that introduced me to them.  Prior to the internet, it wasn’t always easy to find out how many albums a band had out, so I assumed this was their first.  I’d assumed that we were close in age and that I could have run into them at any local club or hangout.  Well, it turned out that this was their third and their first came out in 1980.  When I was 11.  So, clearly  there is absolutely no way we were peers.

Somehow, when I first heard The Feelies, I had not been exposed to The Velvet Underground (what?).  So, when I heard them, it didn’t occur to me to say, “Hey that guy sounds just like Lou Reed.”  And he does.  Almost uncannily so on “It’s Only Life”.

But hey, get past that and you’ve got a really great jangly alterna-pop record from the late 80s.   While R.E.M. is sort of the master of the jangly pop song, there’s no real comparison here (okay, actually “Deep Fascination” could be mistaken for R.E.M. until the vocals kick in).  The biggest difference is tempo. The Feelies just kind of meander along at a calm and relaxed pace.  Not slow enough to be, god forbid, dull, but not exactly peppy either.

One thing I like about the band is that the bass and drums are always out in front.  The bass, in particular seems to really propel the songs (especially “Too Much”) which provides a great rhythmic feels and allows the guitars ample room to roam.

And the guitars do roam.  There are two guitars and they share soloing duties.  This soloing bit is rather a departure for college radio bands in the late 80s.  So, it definitely set them apart (as did the fact that there are like 30 words in each song).

The gorgeously simple yet very compelling “Higher Ground” is certainly a high point for the disc.  As is their cover of the Velvet’s “What Goes On.”

When I was a DJ in college, I randomly selected “Away” to play during a show (the first Feelies song I’d heard).  Even after twenty-one years it’s still as fresh and interesting.  It’s also rather different from the rest of the album.  It’s uptempo for one thing.  But it also starts with a cool slow guitar opening.  The song builds faster and faster and has a great sing along chorus.   The drums also sound wonderfully abrasive.  It’s really a great song and a great introduction to an underappreciated band.

[READ: November 22, 2009] Intermere

Following hot on the heels of Symzonia, I received Intermere through Inter Library Loan.  Intermere is even shorter (at 150 pages)!

What I liked about the story is that it removes all pretense as to the setting up of and the getting to the inner earth location.  As the story opens, our narrator, Giles Anderton, is pretty much immediately in massive trouble.  The boat he is on is about to sink and he is soon plunged headlong into the ocean.  (What an exciting opening!)

When he wakes up a short time later, he is on an island and is warmly greeted by a group of very short but very beautiful (ie, very pale) people.

From here, the book follows a track remarkably similar to Symzonia.  (In fact, there appears to be a whole subgenre of Hollow Earth fiction that is inspired by Symmes’ ideas).  The first real difference, and a neat twist, is that the Intermere people are telepathic.  They immediately determine where he is from (Central United States) and who his mother is.  This is significant because Anderton’s mother is about to learn that her son has been shipwrecked and that his foster brother (a convoluted plot point) has just been killed in the war.  This double dose of bad news will likely be too much for his mother.

Oh, what war you may ask?  Well, the Intermerians keep very strict tabs on the goings on in the outside world, so even though the world was at peace when Anderton left, in the six months since then, the Chinese Empire has gone to war with the West (!).  [I'm curious about the xenophobia here, but am not inclined to pursue it much; however, note this quote:

the 400,000 Chinese and affiliated races are more insidiously dangerous than you know. They will cultivate the seed now being sown and prepare the dragon's harvest of blood.

Jeez, what do you think was on Taylor's mind?].

They show Anderton that he can communicate with his mother telepathically to assure her that he will be alright and not to fret.  (She is relieved when she gets this transmission).  When he asks them about this technology, we get the best reply ever: Would people who didn’t understand the telephone ever imagine that you could talk to someone so far away through wires?  Of course, not, and so it is with you and our wireless communication.

It’s hard to beat that logic.

As Anderton is acclimatizing to this new land, he meets many of the VIPs of the nation.  He is first greeted by Xamas, the First Citizen.  And, as soon as we see “First Citizen,” we know what that means: a detailed explanation of the political make up of their world!  And like with Symzonia, only the best people are chosen to run the country.  But it is more democratic here: everyone is allowed to hold an office for one year, although you must, of course, be qualified; they consider it an honor and a duty and one for which they receive no extra money or honors.   After the year, they return to their previous life satisfied in a job well done.

This Utopian society is sort of socialist, although it is modified somewhat.   Everyone is allowed property (there are fascinating restrictions based on age) but they mostly work for the good of the community.  The one knock against equality is that only the men can own houses while their wives run them.

Oh, and of course, as we learn more about this sort of social structure, we learn about their currency (even the exchange rate with the dollar!), and blah blah taxation etc.

But it’s the science part that is quite fun.  Like Symzonia, there is awesome energy potential down here.  And the Intermerians are willing to explain some of it to him.  They basically have this egg shaped device that somehow channel the world’s natural electricity (if they told him any more he’d no doubt use it to try and take over the world, so we never learn how they harness all of this power).  With these eggs they can make cars that go 1,000 miles and hour, they (well, the wives) can heat food with no source of fire and they can use them for illumination as well. They also have 3 different vehicles, the medocar, the aerocar and the merocar

As he’s given a tour of the main city and the lesser surrounding cities, he is introduced to many more VIP’s: Karmas, the custodian of works and polity; Maros, the curator of scientific research and application; Alpaz, the curator of learning and progress and Remo, the curator of useful mechanical devices (because no one inside the earth would be named John, of course).

There’s even a discussion of religion.  The basic tenet down here is that religious sects are quite foolish.  As long as people bow to the one true God (who I am fairly certain means a Christian God), what difference does it make if they worship via Catholicism, Protestantism, “Hindooism” or even polytheism.  These Earthly sects have caused nothing but wars, not to mention countless lives lost in aggressive missionary work.  And if they all believe in a Supreme Being who cares how they worship Him?

Since I gave away part of the story of Symzonia, how can I resist comparing it?  [So, ahem, Spoiler]: In Intermere, our hero believes that he is going to be adopted by the people there and welcomed as an honorary member.  But of course, he cannot be (especially since they told his mother that he would be back soon).  And one morning he wakes up and finds himself in merocar, speeding back to the surface, until he arrives in…Singapore?.

He sells the merocar (at the telepathic recommendation of Remo) and eventually reunites with his mother.  The book abruptly ends with this passage:

I shall not describe the meeting with my mother nor speak of what was said in relation to the strange and brief communications which passed between us months before.

Well, okay.

So, in sum, Intermere is short on plot although it’s a bit more interesting than Symnzonia in its method of arriving inside the earth.

But, as I am learning with these Utopian stories, the people who live in these Utopias are kind of jerks.  They are very smug about their superiority, they show off all of the time, and they appear to have virtually no fun.  They don’t believe in any kind of finery, they don’t believe in dressing well or adorning themselves in anything.  They barely sleep and spend most of their time in contemplation.  Which may sounds ideal, but really, it sounds kind of awful.   There’s a great episode of Red Dwarf where the crew meets a holographic Utopian spaceship that sounds not unlike this bunch, and they all come off like a bunch of tossers.

I can’t help but wonder if people were offended by these Utopian stories when they were published.  Basically, here’s this guy airing his grievances about specific things that he hates with the country or religion or technology and claiming that these Utopians are vastly superior to us because they follow the lifestyle that the author thinks is awesome.

I have recently compiled a list of some 50 Hollow Earth-related stories.  I’ve half a mind to read all of them over the next few years or so (most are quite short which will be a nice change of pace).  But if they all follow this same format of Utopian politics and unworthy Externals, I may abort that goal.  One of the sources of Hollow Earth stories listed a number of stories that are different, ether more adventurous or even satirical, so I think those will be next.  Many of them are also free from Google Books, so I’ll look into that as well.

If you’re along for the Hollow Earth journey, welcome aboard!

SOUNDTRACK: KATE BUSH-The Red Shoes (1993).

The Red Shoes is something of a disappointment. While I enjoyed The Sensual World, it was definitely moving in a more adult contemporary vein.  The Red Shoes proceeds even further in this direction.  Since Kate is getting older, it makes sense that her music would change as well.

But there are some really fun tracks on here as well.  And Kate’s initial experiments with world music (the Bulgarian Choir) has really expanded into a more global palette (the island feel of “Eat the Music,” for instance).

The first four songs of the disc are really great.  They show an amazing diversity.  The first single “Rubberband Girl” is quite fun and bouncey.  It has a rather silly middle section where she makes rubberband-like sounds.   “And So is Love” sounds like classic Kate, with some wonderful vocals.  “Eat the Music” is a crazy, up beat horn fueled island track (with wonderfully suggestive lyrics).  And  “Moments of Pleasure” is a delightfully romantic song.

However, beginning with “Song of Salomon” with its awkward chorus of “don’t want no bullshit, just want your sexuality” the album trails off a little bit.  The rest of the songs feel kind of hurried and unspecific; there’s nothing really grabby about them.  They’re not bad, but they’re not all that memorable.  In fact, “Constellation of the Heart” is one of those rare aspects of a Kate disc: a song that sounds really dated.

The one exception to this decline is “Top of the City,” a really nice ballad that features some classic Kate vocals.

Of the remainder, “Big Stripey Lie” has some cool sound effects and lots of weirdness floating around it (and I do quite like it) although it’s really not as substantial as her previous experimental pieces.

Probably the most controversial song on the disc is “Why Should I Love You?” a duet with Prince.  While the main chorus is pretty cool (and uncannily Prince-like) the rest of the track sounds (again) very dated.  The track also features the great comedian Lenny Henry on vocals.  However, since Henry is responsible for what may be the worst sitcom theme song ever in the history of music (it may actually make you want to not watch the rather funny Chef, it is so awful) his inclusion isn’t really all that wonderful.  The disc ends with “You’re the One” a weird (in a good way) track that features The Bulgarian Chorus again.  They seem to do a great job of keeping Kate’s songs focused, so the disc ends on a high note.

This disc is pretty soundly dismissed by even diehard Kate fans.  And it is definitely her least satisfying overall. But if you look deeper into the disc, there are some unfairly overlooked gems.

[READ: November 20, 2009] Symzonia

After reading Etidorhpa, I started looking around at other Hollow Earth books.  And thankfully, someone has done most of the work already. So, for an absurdly long list of Hollow Earth books, check out this link.  I was delighted to see that so many of them are quite short!

When I saw this book, and realized that it was about the world mentioned in “Symmes Hole” (from McSweeney’s) and that it was very likely written by Symmes himself (there is still debate, but it is convincing that he wrote it) I decided to check it out.

Sadly, this book was considerably duller than Etidorhpa.  It was 250 pages and the first 100 were details of his journey to the South Pole.  Which would be fine except that since the author is a sailor he gives excruciating details about not only sailing, but even shipbuilding (including how smart he was for making the ship as strong as he did,) and the directions of the wind and speculation about longitude and all that great seafaring stuff.  That’s not my thing, so I found it rather tedious.

He also talks about the detailed process of claiming the island that he lands on for the United States (the deed that he writes up and where he buries it!).

There’s even a near mutiny.  When they approach the South Pole, they lose all connection to their compass.  No one can figure out where they are except the captain (which actually seems like a flaw for the rest of the crew, but what do I know).  As such, no one can throw the captain overboard or they will be lost at sea.  Anyhow, this was probably the most exciting part of the book.

When they finally do get to the land at the South Pole, there is an opening in the earth which leads to the center world.  Although I can’t exactly tell how they sail into and out of this hole.  There’s a  diagram at the front of the book but it’s not terribly useful.

First they make landfall and create a superb structure (the Captain is clearly a fantastic builder) that allows them to camp in a frigid tundra and to hunt seal.  Well, actually half the crew hunt seal, the rest sail off to the paradise of the land inside the hole.

The ship sails on and the Captain meets the Symzonians.  Unlike in Editorhpa, in Symzonia, there doesn’t appear to be a world in the core of the earth.  Rather, the residents seem to live on the inside edge of the globe itself.

As in Editorhpa, the people inside are enlightened.  But if you imagined that the preachiness was pretty strong there, it’s twice as bad here.  The failings of people on the earth (or Externals) are pretty explicitly detailed.  Chapters are devoted (in more excruciating details) to the Internals’ form of government (including the various levels of government and how they are selected or excluded).  He compares it to the United States government (which has only been in existence for 50 years at this point!), and, of course, he find the U.S. version to be quite lacking.

They even have incredible energy production (vehicles that can go hundreds of miles an hour and stop on a dime), and the best tasting foods with no wasted energy, and everything else that is good and wonderful.  But they are also not interested in material finery: they have unlimited access to oysters, so they have pearls everywhere.  The captain asks for a handful and they give him some since the pearls have no value to them).  Of course, none of the details behind these amazing technological accomplishments are given, ostensibly because the externals couldn’t handle it.

The Internals are quite distrustful of the captain, and they keep him from returning to their land until he can learn their language.  So the ship stays moored until he learns their language and proves himself worthy of them.  In the meantime he gives them all of the literature on the ship (the Internals are, of course, much better at learning English than he is at learning their language).  And they are horrified when they read the fiction that the Captain brought, determining that Externals are basically greedy, selfish bastards bent on war and salves to their impulses.  And, they are likely descendants from the bad apples that they cast out of their Internal world years ago.  They deem him unworthy of staying in their land, and send him on his way.

The captain feels bad that he is not as pure and good as the Internals.  But, mostly he is sad because he was hoping to make a killing on his exploration and all his information (and pearls!) and book deals and everything else.  Which (doh!) goes to show that he ISN’T enlightened, just like they said.

He leaves the center of the earth to go back to the island where the other half of his crew has been hanging out for several months slaughtering seals.  He’s able to load up (and I kid you not) 100,000 seal pelts.  Good grief.

When he returns home he entrusts the wrong man with his massive monetary gain for the seal pelts, and he hits financial trouble, which is what inspired him to write this book.  So it’s kind of meta- in an 1820’s sort of way.

I gave away a lot of the story, but there’s not a lot of story there.  Further, the Table of Contents summarizes each chapter which basically gives away everything that happens.  And if I didn’t mention these parts there wouldn’t be much interesting story left.  Although that’s not entirely true, the plot isn’t really the point of the book.  It is really an opportunity for the author to air his grievances with the fledgling U.S. and point out all of the country’s failings.

Like Etidorhpa, this book was clearly written as a kind of proof that this internal world exists.  Hence all of the matter of fact (and dull) technical aspects of the story.  It also explains the ToC giving everything away, almost like a textbook.  The strangest thing for me though is that the author clearly had an amazing imagination to come up with this, but he seemed to lack the imagination to make the story more compelling.

A lot of this Hollow Earth work is preachy, and I hope that future stories prove more entertaining.

SOUNDTRACK: KATE BUSH-Lionheart (1978).

Something about the late 70s seemed to make artists very prolific (perhaps it was studio pressure to capitalize on an artist’s success, hmmm?) Here’s Kate Bush’s 2nd record in about 10 months.

And, yea, the cover shows off her budding theatricality (the tour that accompanied these albums (which is available on DVD) is crazy for the performance art).

There are some great tracks on the disc, although for the most part it feels like it was kind of rushed.  But despite that sense, there are some things that Bush introduced on this record that would remain with her throughout her career.  Her voice is layered a lot more (although it is still unbelievably high–the opening words of  “Symphony in Blue” are rather astonishing.)

She has also developed a wonderful ethereal sound.  Unlike new age artists whose ethereal style is without substance, Kate is definitely grounded (somewhere).  A song like “In Search of Peter Pan” with its twinkling pianos is absolutely suited to the fantasy she evokes (and when the chorus comes around, the real sense of foreboding in Peter Pan kicks in.  (So, yes, she may be out there, but she certainly knows what she’s doing).

And there’s the rather clever underpinnings of the seemingly trivial song “Wow.”  It’s another song where a sinister musical basis lurks underneath the seemingly silly chorus: “Wow wow wow wow wow, unbelievable” (which is actually pretty snarky in context).  But really it’s the cool vocals tricks (the deep almost subliminal “uh-huh” for instance) that introduces something new, and intriguing, and something she would explore more on later releases.

This is followed by the rocking (in Kate terms) “Don’t Push Your Foot on the Heartbrake.”  It has some pretty aggressive guitar in it which is matched with delay and echo.  It’s another element that foreshadows the kinds of sounds she would use extensively on future discs  (oh, and she really gets a good banshee wail later in the song).

And, of course, the final track “Hammer Horror” is fantastic, with a great sense of theatricality, befitting the song’s inspiration.

It’s Kate next album that blows me away every time, but I am still fond of these first two.

[November 5, 2009] North World

I really enjoyed the premise of this graphic novel.  The main character Conrad is a sword wielder straight out of Dungeons & Dragons (there’s even a panel which shows the same characteristics that you roll for in the game: Str–7, Agl–5, Stm–8 etc.).  He is a low level fighter (but he’s quite good and has defeated some huge animals) but he is seeking glory, fame and minstrels singing heroic songs about him.

And yet he dresses like a contemporary guy (button down shirt and jeans) and clearly lives in a twenty-first century world.

He is called by the guildmaster to go to Coeur de Lac and fight a demon summoner (his biggest adversary yet, and his best chance to prove himself). It turns out that Coeur de Lac is where he grew up and where he left 7 years ago with no intention of returning.  He had also just received an invitation to his ex girlfriend’s wedding.  And so, like a sort of Dungeons and Dragons-flavored Gross Pointe Blank, he returns home with a hit job to do, but mayhaps he’ll take in a wedding while he’s there.

The story was quite interesting.  There were some fun twists and turns and some intriguing character developments.  And the one time I was about to accuse the story of being maudlin and a little overly sentimental, Brown absolves himself by showing that Conrad had fallen under a spell rather than just being overly emotional.  Nicely played.

One problem I had with the book was that it was set up for a sequel (so the rather simple story line doesn’t end in the book.  That bugs me, but I’ll get over it.

The real problem I had was with the art work.  The art was very simple and it worked pretty well for much of the time.  Buildings, nature, backgrounds etc were quite good.  The cover art was really cool and compelling in that indie style that I like a lot.  But the faces of the characters within the story conveyed emotions that were not appropriated for what they were saying.  It seemed like simply poor drawing to make the characters seem angry when they weren’t (that was a common complaint).  And there were other times when the facial expression just didn’t seem right.  So it built up a false sense of emotion that I expected would pay off in someway, but which never did.  It felt like some kind of underlying/subliminal tension that wasn’t there.  It was just ineffectual artwork.  And that’s kind of a shame.

But that wasn’t enough to keep me from really enjoying the story.  And I’ll certainly be getting volume 2 soon.

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-Waiting for the Moon (2003).

This Tindersticks disc shows a bit of a departure for them.  Two of the first three songs are not sung by Stuart Staples (which is nice for diversity, but it is shocking to hear the first sung words on a Tindersticks disc be in the relatively high register of Dickon).  Not to mention, the song opens with lines about killing someone (!), which is a bit more drastic than most of their lovelorn lyrics.

The fourth song “4.48 Psychosis” is the most guitar heavy/rocking song in the band’s catalog, I think.  And the rest of the disc falls into a fairly traditional Tindersticks camp.

I’ve read a lot of reviews of this disc that describe it as a grower.  It’s entirely possible that I haven’t allowed this disc to grow on me enough, but I’m not as enamored of this one as I am with the rest.  The problem for me is that the first batch of discs are so magical that it just feels like this one is simply not as exciting.  Of course, any Tindersticks record is a good one, this one just isn’t quite as good as the rest.

Mayhaps I need to go back and try it a few more times?

[READ: October 31, 2009] Etidorhpa

I found out about this story when a patron requested it.  I’d never heard of it, and when I looked for it, it was very hard to find in our library system.  But when I Googled it, it was available as a Google Book.  They had scanned the entire thing and (since it was old and out of copyright) it was available free online!  Awesome.

I printed out the whole thing (double sided) and figured I would read it fairly quickly.  [Oh, and just to ruin my cool story about Google books, I see now that it is available in paperback for about $10 from Amazon.  Doh!]

Of course, I’m not just going to read something because it’s available as a Google Book.  The patron said that it was like Jule’s Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth.  I had just read “Symmes Hole” in McSweeney’s #4, so Hollow Earthers were already floating around my mind.  It all seemed to work out quite well.

By the time I started reading it, I had forgotten about the Hollow Earth ideas.  Which is fine, since the first 100 pages or so are given up solely to the ideas of occult sciences.  But, let me back up a bit first.

First there is a Preface.  Lloyd claims to have found this manuscript which was hidden by Llewellyn Drury.  Before he gets to the manuscript, though, he gives a little background about himself.   He also relates a lengthy story about the value of libraries and shared knowledge.  He concludes with speculation about Drury, and the revelation that although he is unwilling to specify how he came into possession of the manuscript, he has had it for seven years (as of 1894) and is finally convinced that it’s time to get it published.

My edition also contains a Preface about Daniel Vaughn. Vaughn is mentioned as a character in the story (but he was a real person as well).  In the story, Drury sought Vaughn’s assistance with some scientific matters.  So there’s a brief biography about the man.

AND THEN, there is a section called “A Valuable and Unique Library” which is another preface about the value of libraries.  I’m not even clear about who wrote it, if it’s supposed to be a plug for this book itself or if it’s just an ad for something.

Finally, the story proper begins.  But not without a preface by Drury himself, giving his own life story (his full name is Johannes Llewellyn Llongollyn Drury) but he decided to remove those two ugly names.

As the book begins, we see Drury sitting in his study.  It is November in the Ohio Valley and he is rather despondent about the weather.  He selects a book at random.  It is Cicero and he reads, “Never less alone than when alone,” and it sets him off into a (frankly over-reactive) rage.  He is alone right now, he says.  How could he be any more alone that he is?  He wagers everything he owns, including his soul, that he is alone.

When a voice says that he has lost his wager, Drury kind of freaks out.  And there in front of him is a very old man with long hair and a long beard.  The man demands Drury’s soul since he clearly lost the wager.  When Drury refuses, the man pulls out a knife and lays it on the table.  When things settle down, the stranger tells Drury that he will be back to relate a story that Drury will scarcely believe.  When he departs, the man forgets his knife.  When Drury reaches for it, it is ice cold.  But it soon disappears.

Drury asks some scientists what this could mean, and they basically say that he has dreamed the whole thing.  But the man left a hair in his room which Drury shows as evidence.  The scientists dismiss it.

Drury returns home, crushed.  But the visitor does not return.  Drury has more or less forgotten about it until the anniversary of the visit approaches.  And then, exactly one year later, the visitor reappears exactly as he did the first night.  He reminds Drury of his first visit, whips out his knife once more and then settles down to business. The man says that because of the philosophical frame of mind that Drury showed, he is a suitable candidate to hear the man’s tale.  The man asks Drury to listen to the manuscript, to ask as many questions as he can think of and then, when all is said and done, to pledge to hide the manuscript for 30 years.  After the thirty years are up, Drury must publish  the book or find someone who can (and this is how Lloyd found the manuscript).

The man, who informs Drury that his name is “I-am-the-Man-Who-Did-It,” reads the manuscript.

As the story begins, we get a lengthy bit about alchemy.  Up till now the story had been pretty fast paced and interesting (even the early descriptions of Ohio winters were well paced).  But I-am-the-Man is setting out to prove his case, so we get the first of many very meticulously argued sections.  He reads “The Alchemistic Letter” a five and a half page history of scientists who believe in alchemy & the secret society that alchemists join.  It’s a tad dry.

After the dry letter, the story begins in earnest.  I-am-the-Man tells his tale of joining this alchemical society and learning all there is to know about it.  However, he reneges on his pledge to keep everything a secret and is captured and punished accordingly.  This intriguing and intense section goes on for some 100 pages.  Long enough that I forgot the book was about a Hollow Earth at all.  There’s kidnapping, dead bodies, blindfolds, secretive transportation, everything!

Finally, after untold days in a jail, I-am-the-Man is released in front of a cave in Kentucky.  He is greeted by a man with no eyes and a cold and clammy skin.  He is a Hollow Earth dweller.  Obviously, I-am-the-Man freaks out about this.  But he is forcibly persuaded to join this fellow.  And from this point on, they descend further and further into the earth.

I-am-the Man sees giant mushrooms (which smell of pineapple among other things), he has grand delusions, he gets completely drunk on Hollow Earth alcohol, he sees massive lakes underground, as well as the REAL reason volcanoes explode (something to do with water displacing air–there’s obviously no molten core of the earth).  And all of this story is in aid of seeking the enchanted one: Etidorhpa.

So, for an 1895 book, how does it hold up?  Quite well, actually. The prose was sharp and well-written.  The plot was rather intriguing, and the descriptions of the fantasies below ground were very cool.

One of the fundamental aspects of the story is that people who live on the surface are, for lack of a better word, unenlightened. They believe only what their senses are aware of.  They cannot possibly understand what the truly enlightened people who live under the earth know: that all life is better underground.  There’s no harsh sun or elemental problems to contend with, just wondrous peace, harmony and awesomeness.  (Although, interestingly, we never see anyone other than the guide).   That’s one of the reasons why the manuscript can’t be published now.  Surface dwellers could never deal with the truths that are contained within.  And maybe in thirty years, they’d start to “get it.”

However, a few things stand out as being a little annoying.  The first is the intense lecturing that goes on.  In nearly every chapter, the Hollow Earth guide and I-am-the-Man have philosophical/scientific arguments about what is happening.  The arguments are usually interesting for a bit, but they tend to go on and on.  And, frequently there are sections where the jargon gets a bit dense.

Another problem is The-Man himself who seems to alternate between incredulous shock about what he sees, delight about its magnificence and bitter anger about what is happening to him.  These reactions are all quite reasonable, but they don’t feel realistic in the story.  The problem is that The-Man gets mad and lashes out, saying that nothing can be true, even though every step along the way the dweller guy easily proves all of his assertions.

Perhaps people thought differently back then (or maybe a 21st century reader feels more blase about these fantastic ideas than a 19th century reader would be), but I’m surprised at how after being through so much (taken around and the under the world), he still thinks that the man is trying to kill him (even though, come on, that’s an incredibly lengthy trip full of amazing delights and crazy scenery just to kill someone).  I do understand that his belligerent tone allows for the Hollow Earther to prove him wrong, (something Lloyd was obviously quite insistent upon) but it still seems rather silly.

It’s also funny how aggressively Drury fights The-Man whenever he interrupts the tale.  There’s just so much hostility between these men (which I guess is the sign of a thinker?). At one point The-Man drags Drury through the cold night to a ferry boat where they sail across a lake just to make a point.  The hostility throughout the book is rather disconcerting.

But this all makes sense.  The whole story is written as a sort of proof of the Hollow Earth Theory.  So, all of his assertions must be backed up by science.  And he is trying to anticipate every criticism and contrary attitude that can be thrown at him.  Thus, the lengthy philosophical explanations, the in-depth science stuff, the actual physical demonstrations (The-Man brings out some flasks to demonstrate water seepage) are all there to show of the validity of this story.

The one thing that I found to be a disadvantage about reading it now, is that while I am obviously well aware that we do not have a hollow earth, I don’t know enough about the science that they talk about to know exactly what they’re talking about.  So, when they talk about water flowing a certain way because of the density of the brine, well, I don’t know anything about that.  Or if gravity actually lessens as you get closer to the center of the earth.  Or any of the other odd but insistent proofs that The-Man offers.

But that’s all fine and good, because, excepting these proofs, the science fiction aspects of the story are really cool.  Especially when he drinks the hallucinatory liquor (the fantasy sequences are wonderfully over the top).  It does really make the idea of a Hollow Earth sound very compelling.  And there were times when I forgot that it was all hogwash, and thought how cool it would be to float around in gravity-free underground space.

But alas, we know it is all nonsense.

The story ends somewhat frustratingly without telling us about the sacred land of Etidorpha.  (There’s some implication that the readers will learn all about things in the land of Etidorpha when they are smart enough to grasp the wisdom of the underground dwellers). But it is a very satisfying story, nonetheless.

After the story there is a summary of the Death of Prof. Daniel Vaughn.  The story goes that people were so moved by him when they read the book that they submitted testimony about him and his life to Lloyd for inclusion in future copies.   In particular, this section talks about what happened to him later in life (that his generosity basically made him destitute).

The final section contains reviews of the book (all glowing of course).  And the reviews are quite true.  One thing I haven’t mentioned, which the reviewers bring up, is the illustrations.  J. Augustus Knapp fills the book with remarkably cool engravings.  They are detailed and very evocative.  The reviews suggest that they are in color, but the scanner does not translate them that way, which is definitely a shame.  If I can find a copy of the book I’d like to see them in their full glory.

So, for a book I’d never heard of, I can give it some seriously high marks.  It’s not for everyone, but if you like cool science fiction, this is a pretty great story.  I’m surprised that it seems to be so hard to find in print.

For more about Etidorhpa, check out this site.

SOUNDTRACK: POSSESSED-Seven Churches (1985).

Back in high school I was really into heavy metal.  And I got into something of a contest to find the heaviest, scariest metal bands around.  (To counter the guy in class who was into Stryper, naturally).  Well, I think I hit the jackpot with this album.

This is brutally fast speed metal.  Growling vocals, staccato super fast drums and a general sense of doom.

The song titles tell it all: “Burning in Hell,” “Holy Hell,” “Pentagram,” “Satan’s Curse” and “Death Metal.”  Allmusic.com states that this is the first death metal album.  So, how about that?

At this point, though, I think it is most notable for featuring Larry LaLonde on guitars.

LaLonde went on to be the guitarist for Primus for many many years.  So, he turned in his upside down cross and fake blood for purple hair and an alternative rock gig.

And I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

[READ: November 3, 2009] Black Metal

This graphic novel comes from the beloved Oni Press.  It’s the story of the brothers Stronghand, adopted siblings who live and breathe black metal.  They are notoriously evil and their past precedes them. They have been to five schools in four years and, as the story starts, we see them on their first day at Ronald Reagan Jr High.  (Which at first I thought was actually “Ronald Reagan Junior” High School, which would have been even more hilarious.)

By lunchtime, they have intimidated everyone with their black metal stares.  But, when someone questions their manhood, they strike back and are instantly expelled.

It’s then that we meet their adoptive family: a super sweet blonde woman and her natural child: a booger-eating sweetly babbling toddler.

While they were at school, one of the brothers saw a girl wearing a Frost Axe shirt.  Frost Axe is, of course, a seriously heavy black metal band from Norway.  They track down the album and it blows their mind.  Lyrically, it’s about the story of a magical sword forged by The Roth, which was used in an epic battle in Hell.

When they play the album backwards, they are given a chance to pull the sword from Hell’s stone.  The rest is history.

This only gets through to about half of the story.  The rest is battles, intrigues, secrets raveled and, of course, and epic meeting with Hell’s demons and with Frost Axe themselves.

The story was fun for its epic storytelling style and adherence to Norwegian black metal’s mythic stories.  It’s also got all kinds of funny (and often juvenile) humor.  But it is rated T for teen, so it’s never too too raunchy.

The art is wonderfully dark and sinister.  The brothers Stronghand have a weird Asian/Native/Central American appearance (yeah, that’s an unlikely mix, but it works) which helps them stand out from the rest of the WASPy kids.  The demons and hellpit stuff is also pretty cool with plenty of light areas to counterpoint the darkness.

Occasionally, I found it hard to tell the characters apart. Sam and Shawn look enough alike that it’s not always clear who is who (which may even be the point).  And when the Frost Axe girl enters the picture (with the same haircut and general appearance) let’s just say there are times in battle scenes where I have no idea who is doing what. But that’s not really a big deal.

Of course, when the story reaches its end, we get a very ominous To Be Continued….  I don’t mind sequels, but I don’t like when a story is so clearly set up for a sequel that it doesn’t finish itself.  Fortunately, this story doesn’t do that.  It wraps itself up very nicely and then preps us all for the next stage of the saga.  Which is alright by me. And which I’m looking forward to.

If you like your metal black, you’ll enjoy this book.

And my word count is now 666.