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SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 9 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 16, 2005).

This was the second to last night, the 9th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.

This show seems to be a confluence of technical difficulties and goofs.  The band is probably loopy after eight nights.  They even got under way late, apparently.

They open with “Saskatchewan.”  The song sounds great, the band is really into it. The backing vocals are great and the song soars.  But then they spend nearly 6 minutes trying to figure stage issues out.   Martin says, “Tim’s acoustic guitar is strung in Nashville tuning.  You should try it sometime.” (I wonder what that means).

Thanks to Great Aunt Ida for opening for us tonight.

Martin says “This is the Cazostatics.  Hugo Boss’ line of clothing. You notice Tim’s flannel shirt.”  Dave and Martin talk about “guys touching their nipples, a  21st century phenomenon.”  Martin: “It was funny 12 years ago.  There’s one person who can do it I love him.”  (I wonder who that is).

After a few minutes, Dave says, “Be careful or I’ll start talking about merch….  All right, I’m talking about merch (merch bassline).

This song (Tim’s new song) is worth it, I like it a lot.  Tim: “this better be a good fucking song is all I have to say.”  “Sunshine At Night” sounds good.

Don’t forget the bongos.  Martin:  “last night, I got to play the bongos with a black turtleneck on.”  Dave: “I think you mean you got away with playing bongos wearing a black turtleneck.”

Then comes two songs from Introducing Happiness.   “Fish Tailin'” and “Me and Stupid.”  At the end, Dave says, “Tim, a little horn pipe on the bass.”  Which he does.  And then Dave says, “one thing we don’t know about Ford Pier–have you ever recited poetry?”  “Never have done, sir?” Anything that rhymes?  Greeting cards?”  When pressed he comes with a verse from 7 Seconds’ “Colourblind.”

There’s nothing funny when you think about
All the hate in this world makes me just wanna shout
Whether Black, White, Brown, Red, Yellow, or Blue
All the caring in the world will depend on you
We gotta fight to change things; help rearrange things
Get along; stand together; live as one
But the only way to do it is to get right to it
Communicate, ?, and getting things done

Martin: “This is a weird night.”  Dave: “Here’s “Marginalized.”  The bass is off.  After a verse, Dave stops the song.  “The bass is really out of tune and the bass is vital.  I wouldn’t have stopped if it wasn’t really out of tune.”  Tim: “That’s the “Palomar” tuning form like two nights ago.”  Dave: “Sorry this shows gonna take 14 hours.  Have you heard about the merch?” (jazz chords).

Pick it up at the first chorus.  Dave stops it again.

Tim: “Hang on a sec, I think you might have just been playing the wrong notes.”
Dave: “Even a moron like me can play a G.”
Martin: “Cazostatics”
Dave: “I could fucking kick this bass with my foot and G would ring out.”
Tim: “That’s the approximate bass.”

Tim just picks up again and finished the song with “Little Caesar” by Vic Chesnutt.

Martin has a lot of fun with the goofy voice saying “Hi there.”  They play a great version of “The Tarleks” and then “Fan Letter To Michael Jackson.”   Near the end of the song Dave says, “let’s rock.”  Then pauses and says, “but first let’s reluctantly rock.”  Tim: “may we rock?”  Dave:  “Not yet.”  Martin: “Sorry.  May we sheepishly rock?”  Dave: “Martin is exhibiting a slight degree of frock on his very unrock guitar.  Tim’s digging in.  Ford has put away that nasty French horn and is coming to the dark side.  Now we must rock.”

At the end, Martin takes off with “RDA” but after he starts it gets shut down.  “Aww, wrangler Dave.”
Mike: “It’s only good when Dave calls out the chords.”
Martin: “Sorry dad, I didn’t mean to come out like that.”

Martin:  “I’m playing a double neck guitar.  The upper neck has 12 strings.  The lower four of which are in octaves although two appear to be missing.  The lower neck is a normal 6 string guitar.”  In a cheesy voice: “I love this axe.  It has rocked me through many a show.  Check this out.  The lower neck resonates in the upper neck.  That’s no gizmo.  That’s in the axe.  Have I blown your mind?”

Ford: “Your inner pedagogue has really reared its head for this last Fall Nationals.  You’ve been giving away all your shit.  Kiss wouldn’t even tell people how they kept their make up from running.”

Dave says he wants to make a parody instructional guitar DVD.  Ford: “Parody my nutsack.”  Would anybody buy that?  Tim says he would buy it if it was called “Parody My Nutsack: Dave Bidini on Rhythm Guitar.”

Ford says we’re demonstrating the chatter-to-music ratio.

This one’s called “Smokin’ Sweet Grass.”  They start “Making Progress” which Tim says is “for the guy who just shouted ‘fucking play.'”  It’s followed by a nice “Little Bird Little Bird.”

Ford tells a story about finding moth larvae on his suit pants.  Every time he pauses, Dave plays a rim shot.
Tim tells his own story (Dave still doing rim shots).  He says they  got a dog which the cats hate.  The vet gave him something you plug in the wall to release pheromones to make you cat feel good.  Like cat prozac.  Dave: “I snorted that backstage at the Duran Duran reunion.”  Tim: “He gave us a sample and we’re on it tonight.  So everything is okay.  Until the end of the world.”

“Here Comes The Image” features MPW on the synth.  Martin: “Mike forgot his mustache wax.  It’s followed by “Who Is This Man and Why Is He Laughing?” with Jennifer Foster (better known in some parts as JFo).  Tim: Dave Bidini on drums for two songs in a row.  Pretty awesome.”

“Pornography” starts slow, but the end picks up and rocks.  Martin says “Tim Vesely, the lizard king.”

Tim says this night is full of a crowd full of people who came from shitty office parties.  Dave: “Our office party was tonight, two clubs over.”

“In This Town” rocks and is followed by “PIN”  Dave says it’s from Night of the Shooting Stars, the black album.  At the end, Martin starts making goat noises (??).  Eat me, feeeeeeeed me.

Next comes “Four Little Songs.”  Martin sings his verse like a goat.  For our third little song, last night’s comedy guests The Imponderables.  Their bit is all about dreams.  Three guys tell their dreams.  The fourth guy comes out.  He’s certainly naked, possibly with an erection. Everyone reacts appropriately. Dave: “That’s The Imponderables and that’s John’s cock.”  In Dave;s verse he sings “your voice will ring out like a giant…schlong.”  He ends the song saying, “There’s certain things that make our Horseshoe stands that much more memorable.”

Ford plays a roller rink version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”  After two minutes, Tim starts singing “Shangri-La” (by The Kinks) which segues into “Bad Time To Be Poor.”   Man someone’s guitar is way off playing sour notes through the whole thing.

Then the return to “RDA.”  It rocks and they have guests from Lowest of the Low Steve Stanley and Paul (can;t find his last name).  Mid song they launch into a heavy version of “I’m So Bored With The USA.”  Paul rails about middle management and wants cultural diversity he wants middle management to get out of public broadcasting.  Dave: “Will someone save Canada from itself?”

Ford sings The English Beat’s “Save It For Later.”  And then they end with a 20 minute medley

“Takin’ Care Of Business” (anybody bring a cowbell?), into “My Generation.”  Martin sings “One More Colour.”  It jumps to “P.R.O.D.” with Mr Ron Koop.  Over to G.  after a few bars, Ford says, “the suspense is killing me.”  So Dave plays “Bud The Spud.”  He kind of mumbles it very fast, “that’s the closest I’ve ever come to rapping.”  It turns into “Radios In Motion” and then into “Blitzkrieg Bop.”  Dave: Take it down to Bflat… never mind take it back to A.  Ford sings “Monkey Man” by Amy Winehouse.  It becomes “Green Sprouts.”  Dave: “You know what I hate in this song?”  The bridge?  Tim: “Take it to the bridge.”  The audience chanting 1,2,3,4.  Tim instructs them.

Thanks to the Lowest of the Low, Great Aunt Ida, The Imponderables and TruthHorse tomorrow.

[READ: August 8, 2017] Demon Vol. 2

I really enjoyed the far out and rather over the top premise of volume 1 of this series (of four in total).

Volume 2 is much larger than Volume 1 (about 50 pages larger).  And that extra size allows for more complexity.

And I admit I was a bit confused from time to time.  The whole premise of the story is a little confusing in a wrap-your-head-around-it kinda way, but he added a new element that was a major Wha?? moment.

So Jimmy Yee, is a boring 44-year-old actuary.  He didn’t realize that he was actually a demon until the day before when he tried to kill himself.  Now whenever his body dies, the demon jumps into the nearest body.  His personality transfers to the new body, and Shiga represents this by having Jimmy’s face on each new body (but if someone else looks at that person he still looks like what the now-possesed person’s face.

Jimmy has been experimenting with this whole Demon thing.  And that means inhabiting various body and killing them (which looks like suicide).  The police are after him for the series of murders he has committed (even though he himself is technically dead). Continue Reading »

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SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 8 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 15, 2005).

This was the 8th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.  Guest Vocalist Night.  Ford Pier on keyboards.

This guest vocalist night is a bit smaller than previous ones.  There aren’t twenty-six singers.  There’s only fourteen in total and a bunch of them sing two songs.  The show also runs just over 2 hours with the band singing some of their own songs at the end.   It’s like a tight, efficient guest night rather than a sprawling one.

Ford calls it “karaoke night.”  Dave nixes that, “Lets not call it that.  You have to be far more hammered to do that.”  Ford: “This is more like Star Search.  Mike sets forth the terms: “henceforth, we will be effectively mute except in support roles.”

As usual, they open with an instrumental “Four Little Songs.”  It’s always really interesting to hear this multi-part song with just the music.

“Produce the first victim!”

Here’s Selina Martin singing “Soul Glue” which segues into a very pretty “California Dreamline” (also by Selina).

Next up are Nick and Graham from Belleville.  Dave asks, “How’s Belleville?”  “No snow there.”  “It’s the Winter Nationals Pro-Am” as they sing “Fat” and do a terrific job.

Jennifer Foster comes out to sing “The Woods Are Full Of Cuckoos.”  Tim says, “Jen’s trying to play ‘stump the band.'”  Ford jokes, “Maybe you’ll wind up playing keyboard next year.”  Dave: “Coz we’re firing Ford’s ass.”  It is such a shame the mic gets staticky and cuts out because she does a good job with this hard song.  She notes, “its cutting in and out.”  Tim:”So were our brains.”

Then there’s a double shot of Don Kerr.  He says he’s going to do a double shot from his favorite album.  A terrific “Introducing Happiness” is followed by a change of selection.  He says he changed it just today.  They do “Fan Letter To Michael Philip.”  Don says it’s a real fan letter.  Dave: Don Kerr will personalize  a song to you for a small fee.”

Some of the lyrics:

I have all your records/
I have even helped you make a few
Among my favorite producers would be
Tchad Blake and you

I  would like a fan club letter/
but one of your Juno awards would suit me better

When i joined the Rheostastics / I was met by a lot of Dave Clark fanatics
I know they did the same thing to you / but just like me you made it through

During the end there are backing vocal chants of “Wojewoda.”  He must have been pretty overwhelmed.

Patrick Finch comes on to sing “Junction Foil Ball.”  Dave asks him, “And how’s that go exactly?”  Patrick: “It’s nice.”  And they do a great version.

I am amused to hear that someone is shouting requests.

Sarah Harmer comes out two songs.  A sweet “Loving Arms” (I love that Tim adds the spoken “Jeez, I don’t know” line, which is part of the song but it sounds amusing and sweet.  Mike: “That somehow just sounded right.”  It’s followed by a wonderful “Claire.”

Paul McLeod comes out and Ford says, “This guys isn’t as good-looking at the last one.”  Dave, “I don’t know, have you ever seen him in bicycle shorts?”  He does an excellent version of “Jesus Was Once A Teenager Too.”

Sean Cullen comes out for two songs.  “Power Ballad For Ozzy Osbourne” has a terrific voice for this rather silly song.  At the end, he scream/sings “he’s going off the rails.”   Then Cullen does a lengthy improvised Christmas Song.  It’s very funny and a twisted retelling of the Jesus story.  Some amusing lines:

Joseph was good with his hands and good with the ladies.
There was going to be a huge new tax. What an asshole Caesar was.
100s of men with their young pregnant wives clogging the roads.
They put him in a manger, which was weird, because cows were trying to eat.
The horse said to the turkey, you look ridiculous, look at you.  Sit down and shut up (the horse was a real asshole).
The turkey said I’m going to fight for Jesus.
The temple guard laughed because it was a turkey.  The guards fought and killed him, filled him with seasoned bread and threw him on the fire.
The angel came down and said you bastards.
The guards said, lets eat it and take a bit of him home with us.
We dream of that first Christmas where a turkey gave his life.  And the horse was an asshole.
It’s the Christmas turkey on Christmas day.  Thank you turkey for fighting for Jesus.
Dave: “I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
Mike: “What album was that off of?”

Robin Lowe comes out to sing “Sweet Rich Beautiful and Mine.”  Robin has been selling stuff for us this week.  Public congratulations, Robin got married to Steve Clarkson, our sound man, this week.  Robin sings a duet with Martin.  Dave: “Well, isn’t that sort of cheating, Robin?”  Robin hits some amazing high notes.  They sound great together.  This version gives me chills.

“Take Me In Your Hand” is sung by Howard Druckman and Beverly Kreller.  Howard is one of our oldest and dearest friends.  Dave: “I’ve been demoted to bass.”  They’re giving the rest of the band a break.”  The song ends with penny whistle and bongos.

Yawd Sylvester comes out to sing Tim’s song “Row.”  Tim Vesely, Yawd’s rhythm guitarist.  Yawd went on tour with Violet Archers and Tim promised it would  be Rheos-free.  But after the encore, Yawd would go out for a smoke and Tim would do “Row” as an encore.  It’s a bit too slow and the world is incredibly rude throughout the quietness.

Ida Nilsen comes out to sing Marginalized.  It’s a little too un-intense.   Tim Sings the Vic Chesnutt song “Little Caesar” at the end.”

Paul Linklater from Justice, Manitoba, the Scribbled Out Man, comes out to sing “Horses.”  He’s great for the song. At some point Paul starts chanting “Put away wet” for some reason.  Dave says guys, throw it into G for a second.  Dave starts playing a simple riff which Ford turns into “Hang on Sloopy.”  Which he sings: “I don’t know the words to hang on sloopy / that’s okay it’s not a Rheostatics song / so we shouldn’t do it / It’s all wrong.
“Back to B minor.  Now its a Tragically Hip song.”   Paul is really intense at the end.

Someone shouts, “Soul Glue.”  Dave replied, “we did it the first song!”

Justin Rutledge utterly rips through “Feed Yourself.”  It is just rocking and intense.

Ron Koop comes up and Dave says, “Mennonites are the most ticklish people.  Ron, you’re so ticklish.  I don’t mean to generalize, but generally…”

Oddly, someone keeps shouting “Hey, it’s Christmas, play The River, please.  C’mon Gordy, save us.  The River!”  Mike mutters: “shut up.”

Ron sings a lovely “Making Progress.”  And at the end she says, “How about the best band in Canada.”  Dave: “Are the Constantines here?”

They come back for an encore and say “we’ll do a couple where we sing just to mix things up and get ready for tomorrow.”

Dave also asks, “Shauna, can we get some new flowers.  Are replacement flowers in the budget?  They’re starting to bum me out.”  Martin: “Strangely just yours are dying, Dave.”

“PIN it up, Marty.”   In the middle Dave sings “I want some flowers.”  Tim notes: Thanks to Great Aunt Ida for opening tonight.  They were awesome.”

In the audience, that ass is still screaming for The River.  So Ford sings.

When I speak the words I repeat
Are lost within this roaring

I know the one by No Means No, it takes about 9 minutes to play, but it can be done.

They end the nearly two and a half hour show with “Stolen Car.”  Tim starts by playing “Jingle Bells” on the bass really quietly.  But then the song rocks out to the end.

A final note from Darrin, who posts all of these shows:

10 Years later I randomly met Robin Lowe on Sept 4th, sold Jennifer Foster my spare ticket for the Saturday night AGO show on Sept 5 2015, and Selina sang with the band on Sept 6 at the Monarch Tavern after AGO Party.

[READ: July 27, 2017] “Making Scents”

My nine-year-old daughter Tabby liked this book.  And I know that because as I was complaining about the massive problems I had with it, she said she liked it.  So, I guess its good for nine-year-olds.

But I like a lot of books that are good for nine-year-olds.  And I did not like this one.

The premise is a weird one to start: Mickey’s parents raise bloodhounds.  As such, they teach him to be a great sniffer as well.  Cute, right?

The story begins with Mickey writing his life story: “First I was born.”  Next half of the sentence… “then I was put in a tree.”

What?  So he is an abandoned baby and someone thought it would be smart to put him in a tree in the woods?

The next scene puzzled me even more. Continue Reading »

SOUNDTRACK: SHE & HIM-Christmas Party (2016).

The first She & Him Christmas album was a little flat, a little dull.  So I wasn’t that excited to get a new one.  But this one is so much more fun than the first.

Zooey Deschanel feels much looser and freer and the music is more lush and not so restrained.  It’s still not anything like the craziness that Zooey Deschanel is capable of. In fact, there’s a lot of restraint.  But some fun is certainly have, mostly as little asides.

“All I Want for Christmas Is You” starts the album and you can hear the big change.  There’s a choir singing behind her which sounds huge (in comparison) and Zooey puts a nice vibrato on her voice.  There’s drums and a bouncy beat.  This album feels very much alive compared to the first one.

“Let It Snow” slows things down.  But it’s and jazzy very appropriate to the song.

“Must Be Santa” is a silly fun track.  This one has accordion and a bouncy backing chorus.  Like in the Dylan version, they list the presidents along with the reindeer.  But it hurts a lot that after the first batch of presidents, they tack on Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton, which hurts a lot.

“Happy Holiday” has a pretty, echoey guitar and Zooey really shows off her voice nicely.

“Mele Kalikimaka” is a favorite Christmas song.  This version is a little delicate compared to the more rocking version, but it does capture a Hawaiian spirit.

“Christmas Memories” is a bit too slow for my liking but it is a pretty song.

“Run Run Rudolph” M sings lead.  This song is kinda dumb when you actually hear the words.  I’m surprised they didn’t upend gender stereotypes on this one like they did on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

“Winter Wonderland” a duet with Jenny Lewis.  It’s fun to hear another voice with hers.  There’s a goofy moment where Jenny sings, “we can pretend he is Jerry Brown.”

“The Coldest Night of the Year” is a nice sweet duet.  When the chorus comes in with Ward in the backing vocals it sounds really great.

“A Marshmallow World” is perfect for her.  Fun and bouncey and surprisingly restrained for what it could have been.

“The Man with the Bag” is pretty and old-fashioned-sounding.  Zooey does this style very well.

“Christmas Don’t Be Late” This normally hyperactive song is almost like a dirge.  I don’t know why the excitement has been removed from it.  It’s a bummer way to end the record.

[READ: December 1, 2017] “Eva”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.

This story is really wonderful.  It’s sad and strange and powerful.

It opens with a man visiting “the hairy child” in Quetzalenango.  The girl is Eva.  Her mother hopes this man is a doctor.  But he is not.  He is a representative of Doña Teresa de Miraflor, a Cuban heiress who was setting up the Society of Scientific Knowledge in Havana. Continue Reading »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 7 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 14, 2005).

This was the 7th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe, Whale Music night.

On this night the Rheostatics were made up of 7 people, the usual suspects, plus Ford Pier on Keys, legendary pedal steel player Lewis Melville, and what Whale Music would be complete without Dave Clark. For those keeping track that’s 2 drummers in the band for this show! There were a few other guests as well, Brother Rick on “Guns” and Tannis Slimmon on “Palomar”. At the end of “Legal Age Life” Dave C got up from the drums and pulled a slide whistle out of his pocket and proceeded to solo on it, Martin, not one to be shown up, ran off stage and grabbed a flute and came back to duel with Dave. On Claire some of the band switched things up, Tim, Dave C, Lewis,and Martin kept to their normal rolls but Dave B played Drums, Mike played tambourine and Ford played bass. Dave Clark’s mic wasn’t working until “The Headless One”. Edmund Fitzgerald was played in complete darkness for most of the song which added a nice ambiance, towards the end blue lights were turned on. And if that wasn’t a great way to end the show they played a fiery rendition of Horses.

No Whale Music night would be complete without mentioning Paul Quarrington.  Dave talks about the inspiration of the book and then says, “we thought it was only right to bring Paul Quarrington to open the show.”  You can hear someone on the tape gasp and then you hear, He was right beside you!”  “Oh my God!”

Paul reads an except from when Desmond is talking about making whale music and seeing Claire sunbathing.  It’s weird with no context, but most people fans surely read it.  The audio quality isn’t great at the start but by the end of the excerpt it sounds great and so does the rest of the show.

They open the show with a ripping “Self Serve Gas Station.”  Tim says that there never used to be an outro.  Dave started strumming the chords again while they were recording it and the other guys joined in.  Dave: “What is this classic albums or something?  Yeah I guess it is.”  “I believe I was wearing a purple shirt….” It segues into a fantastic “California Dreamline.”  It ends with the clapping intro for “Rain Rain Rain.”  They have some cool warbly backing vocals during the “feeling pretty down” part in the second half.  There’s a great bass “solo” underneath the quieter vocals and then the band has crazy fun during the last verse with jazzy chords followed by big rocking chords.

Dave starts “Queer” but Ford starts playing “Everyday People” (no doubt a nod to Cece singing it the other night).  Despite Dave’s starting the words to “Queer,” Ford just starts singing “Everyday People” and the whole band joins in (Ford has a great high voice for the chorus).  When “Queer” starts, everyone sounds fantastic.  Ford gets a little piano solo before the end.  And then came Lewis Melville on the guitar.

Dave: “Here’s another song from, jeez, Whale Music.  Playing the whole album makes banter inconsequential.”

“King Of The Past” sounds good, but someone messes up the chorus–I think Tim is too early both times.  But no one stops.  Musically it sounds fine–especially the bass.  During the outro solo, Dave shouts, “give birth to that horse, Martin.”  Martin’s solo and wild and punky noises from the keys work as a segue into a blistering “RDA” with lots of screaming.   Dave sings a few choruses of “They don’t give a fuck about anybody else.”  At the end Mike notes, “we brought a drill (there’s a drill on the record for this song) but left it in the dressing room.

Dave notes that “Don Kerr will be with us tomorrow night.  We’ll have the full complement.”

Several times they’ve asked for more of Dave Clark’s voice in the monitor.  It’s possible that he wasn’t audible to anyone.  Dave says, “You had a Gil Moore moment.”  Dave notes: “Mike Levine was the first rock star to live on the Danforth.”  Ford: Mike Levine’s dad was the President of [inaudible].  What a squarehead.  Bean counter.”

“The Headless One” doesn’t get played much (Mike say first time in about 15 years) and it sounds good–again the bass sounds really great.

For some reason, Martin says, “We got mild, medium and no hot sauce at all.”  “Legal Age Life At Variety Store” features Lewis Melville on the pedal steel.  It’s followed by a slide whistle solo from Dace Clark.  Dave: “Bring it, Vesely, bring it. (Tim is on drums).  Oh don’t stop there, man, I can hear those Irish fjords calling me.”  Then Martin grabs the penny whistle to compete with Dave.  Mike: “That’s one sharp trap drumming by Tim Vesely there.”

Martin says, “I’ve only counted three mistakes so far.”  And then Tim busts out the accordion for a great “What’s Going On Around Here?”

For “Shaved Head,” Tim says, “I think we recorded this song in the dark.  Martin was in the hallway.  There were candles–a major fire hazard, but we’re all about flouting the law.  Was there grappa.  Grappa was Melville.  Mike: “We’ve matured since then… it was fine scotch.”  Martin: Does anyone know why booze explodes?  Answer: “When you don;t drink, it explodes.

Ford says, “Whats next?  At this part of the record I get up and get a snack.”  Mike says, “This is the part of the record that I think of Tannis Slimmon.  She is such a beautiful person.  One of the kindest and most gentle people I’ve ever met.  And on top of that and she sings like a bird) and we happen to have her here.”  It’s a lovely version of “Palomar.”

Tim says one of his favorite Canadian albums of all time is The Bird Sisters She, She & She.

I believe that Dave Clark gets up: “Ladies and gentlemen, Neil Peart” (not really).  “The motorcycling has done wonders for his physique.”

Clark: “Friends, is everybody being kind to each other?  I thought so.”  Clark does “Guns” and has updated his beat poetry.  He gets a chant going, “What don’t we need?”  “Guns!”  “We need more peace.”    He has the audience make some drum sounds and then Bidini plays the bongos and he sings “getting it on the circuits.”

There’s more accordion for “Sickening Song.”  It sounds great although at the end, Dave says we used to sound a lot more Italian.  Tim says I think I found my new calling–no more lugging around heavy bass amplifiers.  He continues to play the accordion until the start of “Soul Glue.”  In the middle, Dave shouts, “How about a pedal steel guitar solo?” Then Dave shouts, “how about a rock n roll guitar solo?”  “Ford Pier keyboard solo?”  Tim, “May I ask for a bass solo?”

They need to practice the opening vocal harmony, but they nail it for “Beerbash,” Hey everybody Dave is gonna sing a song right now for all you kids.  There’s a pretty slide guitar solo.

And then Tim says, “This album never ends.”  Dave: “This album isn’t over is what Tim means to say.  We have two more.”

They talk a bit about Reaction Studios where they recorded Melville and Whale Music.  It closed down the day before. And somewhere along the lines some major music company bought the rights [to Whale Music] and we have no connection to the thing.  (But you can get it in zunior).

Up next is “Who?”  The whole song sounds good until the final two notes.  Martin cringes and then says, “we have never played that with you, Michael?  Nope, never.”

The album ends with “Dope Fiends and Boozehounds.”  It sounds terrific and they even thrown in a full version of “Alomar” for fun.

After having played the album, they take a break and then come back to play “Claire.”  The bass sounds a little off on this song–slightly out of tune?  The song sounds good although in the middle section someone hits a terrible chord, but hey come out of that okay and finish strong.

Something happens on stage and Martin says “A request” and then plays jazzy number:  “mild hot or medium.”  There are no standards for spicy.  He then asks, “What are we doing now, Dave?  Are we gonna do all of 2112?”  He starts playing “Song of Flight” and Ford starts singing, “We are the priests!”

While Martin plays, “Song Of Flight” Tim sings “around the rainbow three times” in tune.

Dave asks them to shut off the stage lights completely.  There are some ominous chords and some shushing.  Then Tim starts singing “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald.”  They do a great job and they throw in the “I wish I was back home in Derry” part.  It segues into a scorching “Horses.”  During it they “give the drummer some.”  Not sure who gets to solo or is it both or them?  It’s a good solo.  And then one more solo from Mr Louis Melville.

They turn that fifty minute album into an excellent two and a half hour show.

[READ: July 17, 2017] Pigs Might Fly

I really enjoyed Abadzis’ book Laika.  I thought it was factually interesting and cleverly written.  And I think my joy at that book impacted why I disliked this book so much.

This is a fairly simple story (although it is made rather complicated).

A girl, Lily, is a good airplane creator.  Her father is supposed to be the airplane creator.  He refuses to use magic in his creations believing that only science can keep a plane in the air.  But when the neighboring town starts attacking with their own airplanes, Lily takes it upon herself to fight them.

Okay, fine.

But here’s the thing.  This story is all about pigs.  And I don’t know why.  Aside from the title that allows for the joke of pigs flying, there’s no “reason” to have made these characters pigs.  Well, also because Abadzis wanted to stuff this book full of awful pig/hog puns. Continue Reading »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 6 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 13, 2005).

This series contains the final Rheostatics live shows that are left to write about–except for their “final shows” and their “reunion shows (which I really hope to see some day).” This was the 6th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.  It was a free Tuesday night.

Note:  After the encore break Ford Pier plays a solo version of Diaphanous Heart and then Dave fortuitously jokes that the band just decided to break up.

As the show opens, Dave says they’d like to that Kat and Leeroy for playing with them tonight.  He then says that this is their fifth night, “lucky number 5.” But it clearly isn’t.

They open the set with a stretched out version of “Fat.”  Mike asks, does that stand for “File Allocation Table?”  Dave: “Of course is does.”  “Aliens” has an unusually heavy riffing opening but then the song is played fairly straight.  During the quiet part, Dave doesn’t play anything else but there’s some pretty twinkling keys from Ford.  The song ends with an unexpected guitar solo.  And as the band starts to play the next song, there’s more soloing–a solo unlike what Martin typically does.  I assumed it was a guest but apparently not.  And yet, it lasts for just a moments before the song becomes “Claire.”  Martin’s got some interesting guitar sounds going on for the lengthy solo.

Martin tries the opening of “Torque Torque” but it sounds wrong–naw it didn’t work.  Dave: “Bit of a clunker.”  The next try is fine although there’s a really ugly moment in the middle of the song where the chord is just wrong.  But they get past it pretty quickly.

Dave announces that that was from the film Whale Music, the soundtrack to which is available on zunior.com, a site that is making our musical available digitally.  “We also just released a recording called Calling Out the Chords Vol. 1 which is a recording of last years’ Fall Nationals.  It’s a 12 song souvenir of that event.”
Ford: “I’m astounded that this is volume one.  What do you need someone to take out a fistful of money and burn it in front of you before you get a goddamn clue?”
Dave: “I thought vol, 1 because you know those albums like Cruisin Vol 1.  No one every goes, ‘Wheres Vol. 2?”
Ford: “I felt that way about Kill Bill.  There’s more? Ew.  A martial arts movie with no martial artists?”

When they start “It,” Martin jumps a ahead to the dinosaurs verse and then says  “Is it the wrong verse?”  Dave tells him to go back and they more or less start over.  This time when he gets to the dinosaurs, he roars.   Next up is “Queer” which rocks.  Before the end coda, Ford take a lengthy jazzy piano solo.  It’s followed by “Pornography” which feels a little rushed. There’s some ugly static on the guitar.

When the song is over Ford asks who watched the Grey Cup.  “Everybody did, naturally.  And you all saw The Black Eyed Peas and enjoyed them very much.  And you know that woman Fergie?  She was one the voice of Charlie Brown’s little sister Sally in the Peanuts cartoons [this is true].  And now, when you watch the special and she says ‘My Sweet Babboo’ you’ll hear her saying ‘My humps, my humps’ and that’s just wrong.”
Dave: “Yeah, but what a band.  And what a great cup.”

After a nice “Sunshine at Night” Dave introduces Ford: “all the way from Edmonton, via Vancouver, via Eastern Europe, that’s Ford Pier on the keyboards.”

Then Dave thanks everyone who donated to Alpha and Huron Schools (Tim’s daughter goes to Alpha and my son goes to Huron, and they’re both co-op and they need it.  You gotta love a new toilet, right?  Everybody remembers their first toilet.  You probably had some pretty crude toilets in Caprino, eh Martin?”
Martin: “oh yea!  Toilet technology is catching up, but in the 70s it was primitive.  In my aunt’s bar, there was a hole and two porcelain footprints.  And it reeked.”

Martin starts tuning and then does a really awful chord–“whoa, I tuned it cool.”  Mike: that’s some serious positive reinforcement…  Shit, I slept in.  Cool.”

Martin says the next song is about a rock musician with a special haircut, a pompadour.  It’s a great version of  “Sweet, Rich, Beautiful and Mine” and it’s followed by a particularly intense version of “The Land is Wild.”  Written by “Dave Augustino Bidini.”  Dave really screams during the “it didn’t have to be” part.  And he has now added the final verse about Fogarty’s death.

There’s a huge reaction when “Here Comes the Image” begins and it features Augustino on the rums and Wojewoda on the synths.

Out of the blue Dave asks, what was your favorite Triumph album, hammer or anvil?  Then Dave says that the band Anvil were from Etobicoke and were originally called Lips.

Dave says the next song is dedicated to Ford’s shirt (someone in the crowd shouts we love you Ford Pier).  It’s “P.I.N.” and this time it ends with them chanting “I love my humps, my lovely lady lumps.”

Dave says that “Mumbletypeg” is one of those jump up and down songs, just like the last one.  They end the set with “Satan Is The Whistler: which totally rocks.  Martin ends it with his robot voice and then go to an encore break.

After the break, Ford comes out to sing a solo song on guitar. It’s his song “Diaphonous Hairshirt” which I’d never heard before.  It’s catchy but also a little odd, with some interesting vocal lines. Then he goes back to the synth and plays some pretty intro music.  Dave says he wants to tell everyone the band wants to break up.  Mike: “And then we can get on with our lives.”  (They would officially break up in January).

Martin starts counting 1, 2, 3, and keeps going up to 18.  Dave says “if my kids heard you do that they’d think you were a god.  How did he remember so many numbers in order?”  They play “Fan Letter To Michael Jackson,” but instead of the “Michael” chant, Dave shouts Autobahn!  Then during the slow part, Dave sings “fun fun fun in the autobahn.”  He continues, “Always defer to the Germans.  Always defer to krautrock when you’re looking for a good rock n roll slogan.”  Martin starts singing “It feels good to be alive” with a German accent.

The end the night with Part 2 of “The Ballad of Wendel Clark” It segues perfectly into Stompin’ Tom’s “Bridge Came Tumbling Down.”  Before continuing Dave chastises, “Stop looking at your camera, sir” and then they end “Wendel” and say good night.

That’s nearly two hours of free music.

[READ: July 21, 2017] Science Comics: Flying Machines

I really enjoyed this book about Flying Machines. When I heard the title (without the subtitle) I assumed it was just going to be a book about various flying machines.  I didn’t realize it was going to be a story of the Wright Brothers (and their competition).

And even better is that the story is told by their sister Katharine Wright.  We get a brief bio of her in the beginning and then a longer (but still brief) sketch of her at the end.  Katharine was the youngest child in the family and when their mother died (when Katharine was 14) she took over the family work.  She was also her father’s secretary as well as Orville and Wilbur’s “public relations director”–she dealt with kings and queens for them.

The story begins with Katharine trying to teach flight to an unruly classroom of kids (including one who needs to go to the bathroom).  And then she flashes back.  I love the way Brooks does this flashback, with Katharine as a kind of blue and white ghost look where she observes the other panels in full color.  The inspiration for her brothers wanting to fly was their father’s bringing home a hélicoptère–a small wooden “bat” that spun and flew.  It was designed by Alphonse Pénaud, he never made one big enough for people to fly, but inspired many.

The Wrights were from Ohio but they drove to Kitty Hawk to test their planes because the place was flatter and windier.

The book shows all of the people who tried to master flight (and the names of their ships) Continue Reading »

SOUNDTRACKSHE AND HIM-A Very She & Him Christmas (2011).

I don’t really know all that much about She & Him.  I know it’s Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward.  I don’t really know M. Ward at all and I know Deschanel from New Girl (which we love) and because she is in Elf.

I loved how quirky and weird she was on New Girl and how she sang a lot (in the beginning).  She has a wonderful voice (as evidenced in Elf).  I assumed this would be a kind of quirky, retro-feeling Christmas album.

But it isn’t.  It’s not quirky at all.  The instrumentation is incredibly sparse, sometimes shockingly quiet.  Deschanel displays her voice well.  But the whole thing feels kind of stiff and tightly compressed.  It’s pretty but not really inviting.  Occasionally the album gets bigger with M. singing a few backing vocals and even a lead.

Most surprising is that I didn’t  even know the first two songs on the record.  I didn’t expect non-standards.

“Christmas Waltz” is her singing to quiet jazzy guitar.  It’s possible that since I don’t know the song, I feel like it didn’t set up the album well.
“Christmas Day” has her voice heavily echoed with even gentler guitar.  Although near the end of the song, the full backing vocal (all Zooey, I think) helps her out.
“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is finally a song I know and I feel like she does a great job of it with a smokey delivery.
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” also works very well, even if it’s kind of weird to have the jazzy acoustic guitar playing on this relatively emotional song.
“Christmas Wish” is a duet it feels incredibly loud compared to the earlier songs.  There’s even drums.  It’s just kind of surprising to hear M.’s voice five songs in.  I wish he had been introduced earlier.
“Sleigh Ride” also works pretty well.  The music is kind of countryish, but the two of them together make it work well.
“Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” has piano and electric guitar and backing vocals.  It doesn’t really rock, but at least the guitar is electric.
“Silver Bells” is her on a ukulele and she accompanies herself perfectly.  It’s a bit spare, but the song is quite lovely.
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is wonderful for the way it twists the gender roles.  But I feel like the song might be too fast–Zooey in particular seems kind of rushed singing it.
“Blue Christmas” is a song I don’t really like, but her version of just her and the acoustic guitar is very pretty.
“Little Saint Nick” brigs back the ukulele with lots of echo on her voice.  It’s bright and happy.
“The Christmas Song” is too slow and stiff and kind of a sad way to end the record.

This album is fine for a safe Christmas record.  It’s just not that inspired.

[READ: December 13, 2017] “Secondary Memory”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.

Some of the stories in this collection have been pretty dark, so I enjoyed the relative lightness of this one.  “Relative” because although it starts as kind of a funny anthropomorphized laptop story, there’s some interesting things going on underneath the frame.

It takes about a paragraph to reveal that the narrator s a laptop.  Its owner, Vicki is “experiencing a runtime error…in your language she is little uptight.”  They are out and about.  It assumes they are going to the cafe (where the laptop sees its usual and preferred table).  But they walk past the cafe–are they going to the greasy spoon (the laptop would have shown its displeasure by not connecting to the Wi-Fi).  But no.  It’s even worse. Continue Reading »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 5 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 12, 2005).

This series of shows contains the final Rheostatics live shows that are left to write about–except for their “final shows” and their “reunion shows.  This was the 5th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe. Ford Pier was on keyboards.

This show is just under 2 hours. The site notes: “The entire audio had a major sound issue part way through “The Land Is Wild” and into “Superdifficult.” I used a Mark Slogget Soundboard mixed track to bridge the glitch. Better than just cutting it out.”  I can’t even tell.

As the show opens, Martin says “Hi there.  Shhhh.”  And then plays a delicate “Digital Beach” which segues into a rather quiet “Earth/Monstrous Hummingbirds.”  After which Martin says, ” I see what you mean by curveball night, Dave.”

Dave says that this is the Winter Nationals, the Traditional Monday Night Free for All.  If we play any of these songs too well, you can always request a refund.  This set will definitely feature excessive keyboard solos (it doesn’t really).

After an almost expectedly sloppy “Soul Glue,” Dave talks of playing a song from 1987, “Woodstuck” that they recorded on their first trip to Vancouver.  I wonder whatever became of that recording.  Ford talks about Ceez English (sp?) who produced that record and then became a porn mogul.

Introducing “P.I.N.” Martin says he has three chords, literally and the truth and a standup drummer and the Thundergod Tim Vesely.

Introducing “I Dig Music,” Dave says, “Were’ gonna fuck this up real good.”  M.P.W. forgets the words to his part and then seems to make up some comical ones “Seymour Slime.”  When it’s over Dave says,”Okay we know that now, let’s do it again.” Mike notes: “the long list of ‘Oh yeah, right.'”  Dave then says that Martin will be starring in the biopic of Seymour Stein.”  Martin is upset:  “What?  What are you saying about me in front of my friends?”  “It’s the leather vest.” Much chatter about vests in general.

They move on to the most rocking version of “Sunshine at Night” that I’ve heard.  There’s some really loud ripping guitars.

Dave says, “Here’s a hockey song.  I vowed I would never write another hockey song, having written two books and a bunch of songs already.  I’m a hacker.  A hacker in everything I do.”  The keyboards sound great on “The Land is Wild,”  they add nice effects and accents.

Ford mentions that every night so far he has peed in the same urinal.  So tonight he peed in the one with the picture of Garth Brooks. “Didn’t care for it.”  Martin jokes: “It’s the tight tight tight jeans.  Garth is th e puking stall.”  Dave: “I saw on the TV that he got married to Trisha Yearwood.”  Mike: “Trisha Urinal?”  Martin: “She Pro-tools country, right?  Autotune country.  Robocountry.”

They play a quick and pretty “Superdifficult,” ironically (or not) with Martin’s robotic voice

Dave talks about the upcoming shows and promises that guest vocalist night will be the best one yet.  And I’m not just blowing smoke out my ass or up your ass.  Martin: “Do you have to be so vulgar?”  Dave: ” It’s refreshing swearing at someone other than my children.”

They play a lovely “Try To Praise This Mutilated World.”  I really love when they come out of the poem (you can really hear the poem on this recording).  Martin agrees that he loves that song.

They play a slow and rather shambolic version of “Record Body Count.”  At the end, Martin plays a groovy chord and Mike notes: “Sounds like he died in Reno.”  Martin agrees, although he says Rio.  “You can always count on that triangular A chord to make you sound jazzy.”

This leads to a really long “Desert Island Discs” with these picks:
Dave: Ramones-Rocket to Russia; Sly and the Fmaily Stone; Tom Waits-Heartattack and Vine.
Ford: Violet Archers-End of Part One; Martin Tielli-Operation Infinite Joy; (Mike: brown nosing) and the book on tape of Dave Bidini’s last book and Faceless Forces of Bigness DVD.  Hey, I know who is signing the paychecks.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ron Koop: Miles Davis-In a silent way; that new album by Pete Eccles-Party of One’  (Tim: remember you’re on a desert island by yourself for all of eternity. ) Can I change my choice?  (Mike: no food, try and get albums that have food in them)  Led Zeppelin 2.
Tim: Bob Marley-Survival; Ry Cooder-Paradise & Lunch; Vic Chesnutt–Is the Actor Happy?
Audience member: Rush-Moving Pictures; Rheostatics-Harmelodia; Elliott Smith-XO
Mike: Deep Purple-Machine Head; Gentle Giant live record from 1978; Steve Reich-Music for a Large Ensemble (Tim: definitely sounds like a party of one).
Martin: I don’t listen to music.  Dave: “You’re more of a ring tone guy, right?”  Mike: “What’s your favorite movie that you own.”  Dave: “Hold on that’s different music.”  They play a ripping fast song.  Martin: “Local Hero, anything by John Cassavetes.  I like movies, not music.  Movies got it all.  Music, pictures, sound, light and (ha ha) great acting.
Dave ends the song properly with the E minor chord and Martin says “I remember when you discovered how menacing the E minor chord is.”  Dave: “That’s right, if my kids won’t eat, E minor.”

What’s on the platter next?

The French song?  Tim doesn’t want to do the French song.  Dave’s not going to remember the words to some song, he’ll do it tomorrow?

After “Power Ballad For Ozzy Osbourne” Dave says, “That’s Roger Lord on the keyboard.  I mean Jon Lord.”  Then Selina Martin comes out to sing “Dope Fiends and Boozehounds.”  It’s followed by “Self Serve Gas Station” which ends with Martin playing a really rocking version of the song and then the band filling in while he solos.

They start “When Winter Comes” which turns into a with all kinds of things: a quick run through “Song Of Flight” (with some really heavy guitars) and then onto what sounds like Martin trying to play the “Four Little Songs” ending and then finally getting it where they jam it out.  And then Dave begins the lyrics to the second section of “When Winter Comes” (in the blue Canadian winter).  Dave ends there and says thanks, but Martin and Mike play a rocking ending to the show before they take an encore break.

Dave comes out to play “Song Ain’t Any Good” on solo acoustic.    3:37  Someone shouts out for “Holy Macinaw, Joe”  Dave says that song is called “Horses” which makes people cheer, but he says, “this song’s not gonna come within 100 feet of that song.”  At the end of the songs, Dave says, Tim we missed your bad drumming.  Your good bad drumming you know what I mean.

Dave says “We have many Americans who come up to see us during Fall Nationals.  This is Rich and Greg from For Wayne, IN.  This is their big 5.”  They ask for a picture of the band and then one of them all giving him the finger.”  Mike notes that Taylor from Planet of the Apes And M*A*S*H’s Frank Burns are both from Fort Wayne, IN,. Rich and Greg sing “Take Me in Your Hand.”  They’re okay, one of them is a little flat.

Dave then says, we’re going to do one and a half songs. And remember tomorrow is totally free.  We’re playing with Kat Burns and Leeroy Stagger (and we’re gonna suck).  Mike: Leroy Stagger? Really?  He’s Caroline Mark’s hairdresser.”  They play “Song of the Garden” and end the whole show with the ending of “When Winter Comes” (the warm Victoria ending).

It’s a solid show and almost 2 hours long.

[READ: July 12, 2017] Shattered Warrior

I haven’t read anything by Sharon Shinn, but I did recognize her name (and Ostertag’s as well).

The story is set in a village (presumably on Earth).  Collen Cavanaugh’s home world was conquered by the Derechets, an alien race who are large and smart and have super strong technology.  They are using this planet’s resources for fuel and weapons.  And they take no guff from anyone–stepping out of line gets you work detail that will likely kill you.

Coleen’s family was very rich (they have a large house called Avon), but that couldn’t save them from being killed in the war (this is really dark story).  So Colleen is by herself in a remote house.  However, she must travel to the city every day to work (she has very little left).

One of the Derechet is nice to Colleen but the main boss Corvo is really nasty.

This was a pretty enjoyable story, but I had a few complaints about it.  The first one I’ll start with right away. Continue Reading »