Is it a kid’s song? I have no idea. But it is mesmerizing. I have now watched it about a half a dozen times and somehow it gets better each time. Not as awesome as Babymetal (who are Japanese), but awesome in a wholly different (Chinese) way.
So far it only has 8 million views, the number must be increased!
[READ: November 15, 2014] The Best of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
Although I have been a fan of McSweeney’s from the very beginning, I have never faithfully read their online Internet Tendency. Of course I have read the often circulated ones, and a few years ago I said I would read the old posts from the beginning (I didn’t). Now I discover that in the years since I said that, the Internet Tendency has 283 pages of archives (with something like 30 entries per page). Get moving on that.
Having these best pieces in a book form is nice, as is anything with “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers” printed on the cover. Since I haven’t read all 8,000 entries, I can’t say what qualifies as the best. Although I have to wonder if some of these were picked more for their contributors than their actually bestness. (Take a look at some of the heavy hitters represented below). Regardless of how these were chosen, it is an excellent collection of funny stuff.
When I finish reading all of the online pieces (in about two years), I will have more authority to say if these 50 are the best, but in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy this very funny selection.
MELINDA TAUB-“I Regret to Inform You that My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has been Cancelled”
I love jokes that take an unexpected point of view. Remember the woman who Von Trapp was supposed to marry? No, no one does.
A series of escalating email mistakes about how one might see ones coworkers
COLIN NISSAN-“It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers”
A classic. Although I have to admit it gets a bit darker than I remembered by the end.
KATE HAHN-“Tripadvisor.com reviews: Jekyll & Hyde B&B”
What a wild mix of positive and negative reviews.
J.M. TYREE-“On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor”
Another classic. This makes me laugh every time. The book also includes a series of responses to this article from SETH FISHER, MATT BAER, TIM HUNDSDORFER, TIM STREISEL, and MYKE LEWIS
MIKE LACHER-“In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ Wi-Fi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero”
Sometimes a title is just as funny as an essay. But this one is very well written and is funnier than just the title.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK-“What I Would Be Thinking About if I Were Billy Joel Driving Toward a Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going to be a Piano”
Holy cow this is funny. It gets a little dark and might be a hair too long, but I love him thinking about what he might have to play at a party.
PASHA MALLA-“Covering Teen Wold: One Coach’s Guide”
How do you cover a werewolf? This one is okay, not my favorite.
WENDY MOLYNEUX-“Hello Stranger on the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?”
This one is quite funny (from a writer for Bob’s Burgers!).
JESSE EISENBERG-“A Post-Gender Normative Man Tries to Pick Up a Woman at a Bar”
What kinds of pick up lines can a guy use?
ELLIE KEMPER-“Listen, Kid, the Biggest Thing You’ve Got Going for You is Your Rack”
I enjoyed this one, but found it a but repetitive.
KARI ANNE ROY-“An Overheard Conversation at the Suburban Neighborhood Pool, if the Suburban Neighborhood Pool Were in Deadwood”
I don’t watch Deadwood, but I get the joke–lots of cursing.
ANDY BRYAN-“Back from Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied”
Indy is a terrible professor, seriously.
JOHN FRANK WEAVER-“A Letter to Optimus Prime from His Geico Auto Insurance Agent”
How can he possibly do so much damage to his “car”?
BEN JURNEY-“An Imagined Conversation Between the Construction Workers Upstairs from Me”
Not imagined at all–they really do say this things–hilarious.
SARAH WALKER-“So You’ve Knocked Over a Row of a Motorcycle Gang’s Motorcycles”
What to do if you are Pee-Wee Herman.
SARAH SCHMELLING-“Hamlet (Facebook Newsfeed Edition)
The last line is the best.
MIKE LACHER-“I’m Comic Sans, Asshole”
A derided font defends itself.
LUKE BURNS-“FAQ-The ‘Snake Fight’ Portion of Your Thesis Defense”
This is so random and weird. It’s quite funny though.
JOHN MOE-“A Letter to Elton John from the Office of the NASA Administrator”
We don’t call them “rocket men.” Ha!
MATTHEW DUVERNE HUTCHINSON-“Sweet-Ass Ice Sculptures I’m Going to Make with a Chainsaw One Day”
A fantasy we’ve all had.
RACHEL KLEIN-“The People In an Olive Garden Commercial Share Their Existential Pain”
Do not be deceived by how happy they look.
KRISTINA LOEW-“A Great Job Opportunity!”
Beware the entry level position. This was pretty funny but again a little long.
DAN KENNEDY-“I Jut Found Out ABC Family is Going to Pass on My Pitch”
Vagrant addicts who live in a junk yard? I’m there.
KATIE BRINKWORTH-“A Day in the Life of Target-Market Female”
This is a funny look at someone who the advertisers know perfectly.
JASON ROEDER-“The Elements of Spam”
I really liked this in theory–a style guide for spam, but I feel like it wasn’t done very well–it didn’t make me laugh like I wanted it to.
The Twitter version of Howl. This one is also better in theory than practice.
JORY JOHN-“Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship”
This is very funny but a little long.
JOSH FREEDMAN-“It’s Not You It’s Quantitative Cost Analysis”
Interesting that these two are back to back. The first one might be funnier, but this one is very good as well.
MEREDITH K. GRAY-“Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocery Cashier”
This one will make me laugh every time I go to Whole Foods.
CHRISTOPHER MAH-“Middle Manager’s Oath”
Way too long–could have been two lines and been very funny.
JOHN ORTVED-“I Would Like to be Pope”
To whom would one send this cover letter?
TEDDY WAYNE-“Why There Aren’t Many Right-Wing Observational Comedians”
This one is quite funny, although I hope it doesn’t give any comedians any ideas.
ERIC HAGUE-“Our Daughter Isn’t a Selfish Brat; Your Son Just Hasn’t Read Atlas Shrugged”
This raised a smile.
ANTHONY SAMS-“Toto’s “Africa” by Ernest Hemingway”
I love reimaginings like this. Although I guess I don’t know the song that well to know if this is very funny.
JOHN K. PECK-“Hall and Oates and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern”
This is pretty funny–inserting Hall’s lyrics and Oates’ silence into Hamlet.
ALYSSA LANG-“Bono Gives the Rush Hour Traffic Report”
I can imagining him saying this at Red Rocks.
KATE HAHN-“The Magic 8 Ball Amended by My Mother for My Middle-School Years”
This made me laugh a lot.
ROSS MURRAY-“The Four-Year-Old’s Workday”
I liked this one more in theory as well.
SEAN WALSH-“Spark Notes: Goodnight Moon”
A good piss take of study guides.
MEGAN AMRAM-“America: A Review”
This was a very funny piece in which the country is reviewed like a miniseries.
JOHN FLOWERS-“After a Thorough Battery of Tests We Can Now Recommend “The Newspaper” as the Best e-Reader on the Market”
Despite the fancy features of other e-readers, the newspaper has a lot to recommend it.
REBEKAH FRUMKIN-“Socrates and Glaucon on the Home Shopping Network”
I really enjoyed the way this was structured–a very funny spin on Socratic dialogue.
CHRISTY VANNOY-“A Personal Essay by a Personal Essay”
I thought this one dragged a bit.
COLIN NISSAN-“The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do”
Hard to argue with this handy advice.